Israel warns Gazza not to join Hammers.

The Israeli government has issued a strongly worded statement warning retired English football star Paul Gascoigne not to accept an offer to join the Premier League club West Ham United. The offer was made to Gascoigne (whose nickname is Gazza) by West Ham manager Gianfranco Zola last week. Discussing the offer, Zola said "I still believe that Gazza has great talent, despite some of his recent troubles and we would fully embrace him at West Ham." The 41 year-old footballer has struggled with mental health problems as well as alchoholism since he retired from the game in 2004.


Gazza has not yet formally reacted to the offer to join West Ham (nicknamed the "Hammers") but has been urged not to do so by the Israeli government. "We strongly urge Gazza to reject the Hammers." said government spokesperson Mark Regev "If he doesn't, we cannot be responsible for what happens to him or all of London for that matter."

BBC stands by segregation decision.

The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) has stated that it stands by a recent decision to segregate staff along racial lines. As the above picture reveals, the BBC's centre of operations has now been designated "White City" with non-whites barred access.


Longtime BBC presenter Moira Stewart learned of the change while on her way to work: "I was politely asked to move my things to 'Black City' a new BBC department based in Henley. It all came as such a shock."


In a seperate decision, the BBC has defended naming its BBC World Service headquarters "Bush House" in honour of the just departed US president George W. Bush. "This move continues our recent legacy of impecable judgement in a variety of matters," said a BBC spokesperson "History will prove us right."