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-Iran is to allow the opposition to hold rallies, provided there are no people present. It will also re-count all the votes cast in the election, so long as only one person does the counting - and no calculators, pens or paper allowed.
-Saudi Arabia to allow women full human rights, but only so long as they stay in a small shed whilst exercising those rights.
-In Afghanistan, the Taleban is reportedly going to stop all terrorism, provided that the government surrenders "its right to govern."
-In the US, Norm Coleman is going concede the Minnesota Senate race to Al Franken, so long as Franken admits that Coleman really won.
-China to recognise the independence of Tibet, just as soon as it sees those flying pigs in the sky.