Showing posts with label World Cup. Show all posts
Showing posts with label World Cup. Show all posts
We Love You Donovan! (Not McNabb)
[whispering]
"We just need to bomb every country with a FIFA ref, period."
"Oh, totally."
Second half was spent in the office, blatantly watching the shit en español on Univision's website. Then it happened. 91st minute stoppage-time goal by newly-christened American Hero Landon F. Donovan. The office exploded. Car horns and cheers coming from the streets. Full on Sparta.
Next up is Ghana. And even though I'm jealous that your country's name translates to "Warrior King," you're goin down like a 16-year-old hooker on Lawrence Taylor. THESE COLORS DON'T RUN.
In closing: eff England, eff Slovenia, eff Algeria, eff Mali...eff the world at this point. Hey France, hows my ass taste?
Boo This Man!
USA Head Coach Bob Bradley: "I still don't know why the goal was disallowed."
Neither do we, Bob. Did the U.S. do something evil to Mali at some point (besides probably turning some of its people in slaves several hundred years ago)? According to Wikipedia, "Mali’s relations with the West in general and with the United States in particular have improved significantly". What the French, Toast? We ain't cool?
Koman Coulibaly, go back to Mali, play your Kora, and eat a diet heavily based on cereal grains you Darryl Strawberry-headed snake!
Rick Reilly Has A Vuvuzela Shoved Up His Hindquarters
Actually, pretty much just the vuvuzela in particular.
He wrote a completely worthless 1100 words outlining the ‘10 most annoying things about watching the World Cup’. You can read it HERE, but seriously, don't waste your time. It's shit. And let me just take a second to say that I don't hate on Reilly as much as some people do. I'm kind of indifferent towards him. But he really does throw up some lazy nonsense now and then.
The whole thing is a little too 'smug American' to me. He could've been way more creative, but instead just comes off as another American writer bitching about soccer. To be honest, I'm not even sure why he's hating on the World Cup so hard. You don't need to complain about it or try and find ways to ‘improve’ it. It's not an American sport. If you don’t like, that’s cool. Don't watch. I'm not a soccer guy, and don't find the World Cup being forced down my throat at all.
Anyway, if vuvuzelas are what makes Reilly's brain hemorrhage, then I wish him a long Bzzzzzzzzzz'ing death. Wanna help speed that process up? Then download the official vuvuzela app on the iPhone. It’s the number 3 free app in the country right now.
And if you don’t have an iPhone, you can keep up on all things vuvuzela on twitter at twitter.com/The_Vuvuzela. If only Reilly was half as creative or funny as the guy who created that twitter account.
To Brighten Your Monday Morning
Just look at that split-second-too-late desperation lunge. Still funny.
The best part of the whole event to me were the ridiculously boisterous boos coming from the bar (and every bar on the block) whenever David Beckham was shown on the "tele." Turn that frown upside-down, Becks.
courtesy of With Leather.
UPDATE: this is too good to ignore
USA! USA! USA!
HUGE match tomorrow.
USA vs. England.
Evil vs. The Country Formerly Known as Evil.
Cheeseburgers vs. Boiled Beef.
Democracy vs.
Savvy Black President vs. Stuffy Elderly Queen.
64 oz. MOUNTAIN DEWS vs. LAME-ASS BREAKFAST TEA.
Rex Ryan understands how important this is. The Embassies understand how important this is. Pride is on the line here, folks!
If we can beat these limey pricks at their best sport, we'll own bragging rights for DECADES. And we're not even using our best athletes -- they're too busy playing sports that require all four limbs. We got goddamn RAPPERS out there! If Kobe and Wes Welker were playing shit wouldn't even be close!
In closing, FUCK BP. I'm gonna be drunk by 10am tomorrow.
USA! USA! USA!
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