Where Does NFL Fine Money Go?

Where does the money the NFL makes from player fines go? It's a simple question for which you would assume you could get a simple answer. Not so.

For a league that's so concerned with their public image that it would hold an open competition to design the new poster condemning those terriblehorriblenogoodverybad concussions or without hesitation blanket the league in pink bullshit for a month, the National Football League is awfully quiet about some of their finances. Exactly how much money are they collecting from these fines a year? Where exactly is this money going? And, seriously, how much did they spend on pink hats, cleats, sweatbands, t-shirts, jackets, gloves, and hooker costumes cheerleader uniforms?

After some moderate searching, I found zero definitive answers. Most of what you'll get are tweens on Yahoo! Answers saying "It goes to charity." I found one good article, but the numbers are vague and it lacks specifics concerning the correlation between fine dollars and charity dollars. Having seen players-with-frozen-hands-laying-motionless-on-the-ground rise to an all-time high, and with so much cash getting taken out of players pockets, I think we all deserve to know what's happening to millions of dollars from this shifty-ass, Las Vegas-influenced billion dollar corporation.

So, until the NFL shows me where the money goes by say...I don't know...making a web page with a running counter of how much money was "donated" and giving certain winning fans the ability to pick the specific charity (EMAIL ME, NFL), I'm just going to assume that the money goes to Roger Goodell's elaborate penis surgeries.

Heard he had multiple procedures to that whole area. Hair dying, rings, racing stripes...the works. And trust me Rog', I'll make find pictures.

Website Review: Roger Goodell Edition

Yes, that's a pic of John Madden asking for one of everything on the menu. I'm sure you're not surprised.

I love Goodell's face in this pic.  You can practically read his thoughts through his expression. "Maybe if I just hit this mammoth idiot with a blunt object I can shut him off.  But then how will I kill myself?  God, what the fuck am I doing at a TAKE OUT Chili's in bumblefuck Pennsylvania with John Madden??  I'M AN IMPORTANT MAN!"

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's website has a running blog complete with pics of his trip to each teams' training camp. What you may be surprised to see is how shitty his site actually is. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting, but it's really sad. He's the Commissioner of the most prominent sporting league in the Americas. You’d think his shit would be a little better put together and presented. 

The stories from each camp visit are uneventful at best, and the Twitter feed really doesn't give anyone a reason to follow at all. And let's not even get into the awful Photoshop of Goodell at Lambeau Field in the site's banner. MS Paint would’ve been a much better choice.
 
So yeah, don't waste your time. This website doesn't really offer you anything in the way of an interesting perspective or entertainment whatsoever.  The only part of the site that was worth looking at were the back-to-back posts featuring Madden's feeding times. Here's a blurb:

"We're holding out hope for a Chili's," the driver of the Madden Cruiser called back to Roger Goodell.

                                               .......                                                      

 Madden was on the phone when we passed a sign showing Chili's at the next exit, but wasn't clear if was a sit-down or takeout version.  As Madden got off the phone, he said, "So what's the deal with Chili's?"" [Time for a pitstop]

We also learn in that story that John Madden loves tuna fish.  Enthralling.

If you still want more, you can see Madden getting ready to further raise his risk of heart disease amongst the Rest Stop truckers HERE.