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The Sixers Would Like You To Sit On Deez Nuts

By TWW friend Eric

76ers Community Assist is a program where players, coaches, season ticket holders, and businesses donate tickets for youth groups to attend games. The Sixers get to fill up some empty seats, the kids get to see a free game, and absolutely nothing funny happens...until they decided to create names for the groups based on the player that donates the tickets. For instance, there is Mo-Reese's Pieces for Marreese Speights, Jrue's Dream Team for Jrue Holiday, and LouWillVille for Lou Williams. Every player has one...even Darius Songalia. The name for his group? You guessed it: D's Nut House. Section 211 of the Wells Fargo Center has a 20-foot banner that says "D'S NUT HOUSE". The jokes write themselves really.

"Come on down to D's Nut House. You haven't had nuts until you've had D's Nuts."

[please excuse my shitty camera quality]

Rejoice! The 76ers Update You've Been Waiting For!!

By TWW friend Eric

12-19. Could be worse. If it was worse, would that be better? Some people like cucumbers better pickled. Huh? Wait, what?

Anywho, hit the jump for insight, nicknames, and random thoughts on where the Sixers stand as we come to the end of 2010.

Biggest Surprise: Jodie Meeks

If you recall, I said in my season preview that I liked Meeks, I just didn’t expect him to get any playing time. Well, I guess I was just used to head coaches that have no idea what they are doing. The team is 7-6 since Jodie made the move into the starting lineup, and its clear that he has helped spread the floor and create space for his teammates to get to the basket. That said, he has been shooting the ball terribly in recent games. I expect him to shoot around 38-39% from 3pt range the rest of the way, and I would like to see him start to get to the basket more often, but we got this guy for free so whatever he gives us is a bonus.

They Are Who We Thought They Were

This team can play defense. This team can’t really play offense. There is not one player on this team that provides offense on a consistent basis, but guys like Jrue, Iguodala, and Brand bring it defensively every game. One of my favorite moments of the season was Elton Brand taking out Blake Griffin when he tried to go up for a Blake Griffin-esque dunk. That’s right, Blake, no easy buckets.

Their biggest problem offensively is that they have nobody to go to when the team really needs to score. What I mean by that is when the team hits or cold spell, or more importantly in the last few minutes of a game, they have nobody to go to that can get it done consistently. In fact, they go to Iggy, which just hurts the team.

Evan Turner…dude, seriously WTF?!?

I was hoping that by now we would have some kind of read on this guy, but it’s the end of December and, well, we don’t. Everything I said before the season started still stands. He still doesn’t appear comfortable playing off the ball, he looks lost/bored on the court, and he is quite possibly the least aggressive NBA player ever. However, he will do something about once every other game that gives us some hope. For a guy who is 6’7’’, he can flat out handle the ball. He hasn’t been hitting jumpers at a high rate, but his form is consistent and that will hopefully turn around with more attempts to get in rhythm. He has good court vision, he can pass the ball, and he has been decent defensively. His rebounding is inconsistent, but he definitely has the ability to be a 5-7 rebound a game guy if he got 30+ minutes. Did I mention he isn’t very aggressive? I like to refer to him as Evan “Hot Potato” Turner. He gets the ball in his hands…aaaannnnnd it’s gone. It’s gotten to the point where I get excited just to see him put the ball on the floor. He should be forced to take at least eight shots a game. Just tell him if he isn’t more aggressive we’ll take away the white girls, because NBA players love white girls. Except Lebron. He’s gay. #unnecessaryshotsatlebronbecauseijustdon’tliketheguy

Sir Thaddeus of Nasty Town…or Thaddeus Prime (both solid nicknames)

Now, here is a guy that shows up to play on a nightly basis. Doug Collins made the decision at the start of the season that he was going to try his hardest to put Thad in the best position to succeed. If he thinks there is a good matchup at PF, then he puts Thad there, and if the matchup is at SF, then that’s where Thad’s minutes are. It’s about time that we just accept that he is a tweener. He isn’t big enough to be a typical PF, but he just doesn’t have the outside shot to be a great SF. He’s a good rebounder, he has great hands, and he likes to throw down. Let him do those things and we’ll all be happy.

#1 Guy That Needs To Go: Lou Williams

A lot of people might say Iguodala, and I’ll get to that in a second, but for me Lou is the guy I want to get rid of the most. Why? He just doesn’t fit on a team trying to develop it’s young guys. He dominates the ball, and his shot selection is awfultrocious. That’s right, I made up a word just to describe Lou’s shot selection. Get rid of him and give those minutes to Evan Turner. A package of Lou Williams and Jason Kap-friendly-expiring-contract should be able to get them something decent, or at the very least a larger expiring contract and a draft pick.

Andre EightyMillionDala…trade time?

Andre has value. If I was a contender in the West, I know I would try to get him. He has a very particular set of skills that makes him a nightmare people like Kobe. Put Iggy on the Spurs, Thunder, Jazz, or Mavericks and suddenly the Laker’s road to the finals gets a little tougher. I don’t know if those teams have assets that I’d want in return, but with the amount of 3 and 4 team trades that go down every year somebody could make it happen if they wanted. I don’t want expiring contracts and bad draft picks for him, but if we could get a contract, a young player, and a draft pick, I’d pull the trigger immediately. If we want to see what Evan Turner can do, then we have to move Iggy. It’s as simple as that. We could send him in a package to Denver that nets us Carmelo, and then just cross our fingers that Melo gets Cliff Lee syndrome and loves Philly so much that he’ll sign an extension.

Cliff Lee, making anything possible in Philadelphia since 2010.

ESPN: Trite Stereotypes of Philly Fans Fun, Easy

By TWW friend Eric

The McNabb returning to Philly commentary has reached a breaking point. What I mean is that I want to break my television and the face of each idiot commenting on it. Am I bothered by those speaking on McNabb’s legacy and the upcoming game? Not at all.  It’s the idiots who are using retard-strength crystal balls to predict fan reaction to his introduction that really grinds my gears.

After the jump, I'll call out a few of these clowns by name and continue to spit hot fire on them.


Let's start with Trent Dilfer.  He predicted fans will boo and it will be “pathetic.” Well, Trent Dilfer, you’re pathetic. You just insulted an entire fan base for something that they haven’t done yet. You won a Super Bowl on a team led by a player that killed a guy. Your self deprecating humor is annoying, and your condescending tone indicates that you’re totally a dick in real life. I’d rather watch Merril Hoge - and I really hate Merril Hoge.

Jemele Hill did the same thing. I was actually a little upset to read her article, because I usually like what she writes. Let me paraphrase: Eagles fans are classless and will boo McNabb, which in-turn makes them more classless. Well Jemele, you are Trent Dilfer -- shut uppa yo face. Oh, and the crap about booing him at the draft needs to stop.  That was like 15-20 dudes ELEVEN YEARS AGO.  How the hell does that represent the entire fan base????

Herm Edwards had the best comments I've heard so far.  You know why?  Because he gets it. He played here and he knows the fans. He said that he expects mostly cheers, and the fans will boo their team when they aren’t playing well, because…wait for it…they care!!! Holy shit a fan base that voices displeasure in their team?!?! Somebody call Jemele Hill: I need commentary!!

Go ask Allen Iverson how he was received when he came back to Philly. AI had just as many haters as McNabb, but the cheers he got rivaled anything I've heard at a sporting event. Did Iverson win a title? Nope. Was he much more balla than McNabb? In every way imaginable. But the main difference between Iverson and McNabb: McNabb never embraced the fans and always played the victim, while Iverson did the exact opposite. Iverson's attitude was always that many people loved him and a few hated him. He knew that the city just wanted to see someone leave everything out on the court/field every single game. McNabb never understood that a huge portion of the fan base loved him.  There is a small group (the overly vocal idiots that call into talk radio) who don't like anybody and are kinda racist. McNabb never embraced Philly fans because of that small group.  If Sunday comes and he gets booed, then he gets booed.  But I for one will be standing and applauding, and I’m willing to bet that most fans will do the same.

By the way -  Brett Favre got the shit booed out of him in Green Bay. That actually happened, but didn’t receive this kind of commentary.  God, I hate Trent Dilfer. 

This Trade Rumor is Gold, Jerry! Gold!

By TWW friend Eric

The Phillies are pulling away in the NL east on their way to another World Series run. Football season has just begun and the Eagles are on everyone’s mind. What should I write about? Ridiculous 76ers trade rumors! Carmelo Anthony anyone?

So rumor has it that the 76ers may or may not be possibly entertaining the idea of perhaps putting together a hypothetical package which allegedly might maybe kinda include certain players leaving and others returning.

Anytime I hear “players leaving” in the same sentence as “76ers”...there is cause for excitement (Please be Willie Green Please be Willie Green Please be Willie Green Please be Willie Green).

But the really exciting thing about these rumors is they involve a bona fide superstar. There are two questions to ask here: Can the Sixers really get Carmelo? And, more importantly, should the Sixers get Carmelo?

No. To get him we’d need to give up A.I., E.T., Thad or Speights, and both of our big expiring contracts (J-Kap and Bill “Money” Green). That is a ridiculous amount to give up for a guy with a 0% chance of resigning with the Sixers. If we could get it done without including Turner, then I say go for it, but that’s nahganna happen.

Now to the real possibility: a three team deal that sends Carmelo and Ty Lawson to the Niets, Favors and JR Smith to the Sixers, and has Iggy (and his god awful hair cut), Thad, and Devin Harris in Denver.

Putting aside my unexplainable JR Smith boner, I would do this deal in a heart beat. If you can turn an awful contract (Andre “80 Million” Dala) into a young big man with all-star potential, you don’t pass on that opportunity. Would the Nuggs make this deal? I can't see why, but apparently they like Iguodala so who the hell knows. The Nets, on the other hand, make out like Wet Bandits, swapping an overrated, injury prone, point guard and the #3 pick for one of the 10 best players in the NBA (with a legit shot to resign him) and a young point guard.

One final note: Allen Iverson may be joining the world famous, Vaseline eating, Starbury in China. Does that make him “Allen Iverson-son”? Or is that a Japanese thing?...

Anyway, sad to see it end this way. My aforementioned JR Smith Boner is nothing compared to the big veiny triumphant bastard I have for Iverson. Before this gets any gayer (more gay?) let me just say this: Allen Iverson is, was, and always will be my favorite athlete and is the reason I’m a sports fan. Say what you want about the guy, he left everything he had on the court every single game and I fully expect him to do the same in China. Just against guys named Wang.

This is getting long, so I’ll leave you with this:

“You basically can say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end” – Kanye West via Twitter

 lol.

Time For Your Dose Of Sixers Draft Preview

[By TWW friend Eric]

We’re less than a week away from the draft, so now is as good a time as any to take a step back, put together some lucid thoughts and discuss what we should expect on draft night.

There are basically three scenarios that could play out:

1. Draft Evan Turner (97% going to happen)
2. Draft Derrick Favors (2.9% chance of happening)
3. Trade with T-Wolves were we unload Brand’s contract and move down to #4 and get Cousins(.1% chance)

Prepare for the breakdown.

EVAN TURNER, SG

Why will the Sixers draft Evan Turner? Because he is as close to a sure thing as you can get. Right now the position is completely vacant. Iguodala isn’t a shooting guard, Willie Green is best suited to be a towel boy, Jodie Meeks is a role player if he develops, and Jason Kapono is a one trick pony. Maybe Turner isn’t the outside shooter that we’ve been missing, but the guy has improved every year. He will be an excellent scorer, an above average defender, a good facilitator, and an outstanding rebounder for his position. Did I mention Willie Green stinks? His upside is Brandon Roy with knees, and his downside is…um…Brandon Roy on a bad night? THAT is why they take Evan Turner.

DERRICK FAVORS, PF/C

Why could they draft Derrick Favors? Because he might be the next Dwight Howard. His measurements are very similar to Howard’s prior to the 2004 NBA draft and he is an extremely gifted athlete. On top of that he seems to have a good attitude and the drive to work on his game at the next level. HOWEVER, he is raw. There have been 10,958 (estimate) athletic players that have failed to develop in the NBA. Whichever team selects him will look for him to be the next great NBA center, but he could be the next good NBA center, or the next average NBA center, or the next “shit we fucked up the draft” NBA center. The Pistons won the title after drafting Darko Milicic. The Sixers don’t have the luxury of taking that kind of risk here. By the way, he’s been dominated by Cousins in workouts. Which leads us to…

DEMARCUS COUSINS, C

Why could Demarcus Cousins be an option? Because it would probably mean that Elton Brand is gone, and he has the talent to be an all-star. Favors and Cousins have been working out for teams together, and all indications are that Cousins has been mopping up the floor with Favors while Favors has been spreading his cheeks to show how pink he is inside. Cousins has one huge red flag: he’s a head case. He gets cranky if things don’t go his way, he loses interest in the game, and he just has an overall shitty attitude. Guys like that tend to go all BP on an organization. He’s also a fatty. The upside is 20 and 10 perennial all-star; the downside is Eddy Curry.

Prediction: This is what we'll be seeing on draft day: