Kendrick Perkins Misses Boston, Wishes There Was Better Sports News

In case you haven’t noticed, this is the most exciting thing happening in sports at the current moment. Shit’s real sad right now. But at least Kendrick Perkins’ shattering heart is doing its’ best to keep us mildly entertained. The Sad Perk meme has hit the internet in full force, and as silly and dumb as it is, makes me oddly satisfied and amused.

Perkins loved Boston and promptly turned into Sir Weepy Vaginaface after learning he was traded. Don’t be such a sourpuss KPerk. You play basketball for a living and are a millionaire. Just because you had to move away from your friends doesn’t mean you gotta pout like a 4th grader. At least you’re not Baron Davis. He was traded to Cleveland and is probably loading the bullets into his gun right now.

[Sad Perk]

We Have Melo! And Amare! And...Some Other Guys!

First off, let me begin this by saying I’m a fan of what the Knicks did. If you have a chance to acquire a top 10 (or 15) player, and pair him with another top 10 (or 15) player, you have to do it. When Melo is dropping 35 on Miami on Sunday, nobody in NYC is gonna miss Wilson Chandler or Danilo.

HOWEVER, the Knicks still aren’t that great. Yes, this gives them a base that could potentially be great over the next few years, but as of right now they really aren’t much of a threat (outside of taking one of the East’s contenders to 6 games in the first round) to win anything this year.

“But Dave,” you drunk-as-shit-happy-as-fuck Knicks fan might say, “We got Chaunce too. And Melo will own the Garden. You don’t know shit, we owned the Bulls twice AND we beat the Heat. Eastern Conference Finals, here we come! Bitch.”

Bitch, I'd respond with the quick fact that the Knicks only have three good players now. And remember defense? Yea, the Knicks don’t play any. Melo isn’t exactly a defensive force, and Amare basically blocks a few shots and that’s it. I mean, I'm a Billups fan and everything, but that guy isn’t guarding Rondo, Rose or Nelson in the playoffs, trust me. Over a seven game series the Knicks aren’t stopping Wade/LeBron/Bosh, Garnett/Rondo/Pierce/Allen or Rose/Boozer/Noah/Deng. It’s just not happening. Sure, they can catch fire from the three for a game or two…but remember they just traded Gallinari, Chandler AND Felton, who accounted for 5-threes per game at about 34% shooting. Sure Melo and Billups probably can make most of that up, but there isn’t the depth of 3-point shooting anymore. While the Knicks will still score a TON, how they score will need to change (Billups isn't a pass-first PG, which this offense is predicated on). It's definitely going to take some time. Again, I’m not saying this trade shouldn’t have happened, but it doesn’t exactly leave the Knicks as a true contender. Certainly more interesting, just really not that scary...yet.

If you don’t believe me check this link out. This guy knows a whole lot more than I do, and says it in a whole lot better way than I can. Long story short? Melo and Amare ain’t a perfect marriage…not like Cliff Lee and Phillies.

But don’t worry New York, we got your back. Our 76ers will be out in the first round too. Shared pain, baby. Shared pain.

Larry Fitz Wants Him Some Hogkiller

Each Arizona Cardinal who attempted to pretend they were an NFL quarterback failed miserably last year. Arizona QB's threw a total of 10 TD's all year while their completion percentage barely reached 50%. So to avoid another disaster, and actually have a chance to resign Larry Fitzgerald (he's a free agent after next season), they must sign a viable QB.

Adam Schefter reported that when the Cardinals asked Larry Fitz who he wants tossing him passes next year, he responded with a ringing endorsement of Kevin Kolb.  Thank you Larry Fitzgerald.  I always knew I liked you.  Zona has the #5 overall pick in the draft and I can only pray they're foolish enough to give it up for KK.

For what it's worth, Fitz second choice was Marc Bulger. He's basically given them the option to either trade for Kolb, or sign a washed up, injury prone Marc Bulger off the street. This is why you don't ask players for input into personnel moves.

I Want A Melo And I Can't Have One And I'm Sad

With the news today that Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov has withdrawn his team from trade talks with the Nuggets, it appears that Carmelo Anthony is again available to the highest bidder. However, while that may be true, there are only a handful of teams that truly have a chance to acquire one of best scorers in the NBA.

At this point, there are probably only three realistic outcomes:

1) Carmelo resigns with the Nuggets, accepting the 3-year, $65 million extension that been on the table it seems like forever.

2) The Bulls or Knicks (two teams that Carmelo is known to want to play for) pony up and acquire the star. He then signs the same above extension with them.

3) A team like the Mavericks decides to blow the Nuggets away and take a chance with Melo as a rent-a-player.

That's really it. I guess a fourth scenario could play out, but I really don't know what that is (the Nets re-enter the bidding, but that doesn't look likely at this point).

Now, before I get to the real reason for this post, let me preface this by saying one thing: I fully realize that the Sixers have ZERO chance of ever getting Carmelo Anthony. I know it's not happening. They don't have the right trade pieces and Melo specifically put them on a list of teams he wouldn't resign with next summer.

HOWEVER...this isn't about whether the Sixers can realistically acquire Carmelo. It's about the fact that they don't even have the chance to try to acquire him. Where a bunch of other big market teams (Knicks, Bulls, Mavericks, hell even the f'in Nets) have a chance to get him, the Sixers have zilch. Our franchise is so awful, so unappealing, that they don't even have a chance to put out an offer. That's depressing.

Right now, every other team in Philadelphia is successful. The Flyers are the arguably the best team in the NHL, the Phillies have built the best rotation in MLB and just won 97 games and the Eagles might have the two most exciting players in the NFL. Things are good, they all sell out every game, and each has made the playoffs the past three seasons.

Things for our Sixers however, are terrible. The team is boring. Nobody, besides my brother and that guy in Section 205 that used to yell at Willie Green all the time, goes to games anymore. There are a few young players and a few extremely overpaid, under-performing guys. The rest, well, aren't even worth mentioning, seriously. They are a team that isn't awful enough to get another top pick, but they certainly aren't good enough to give you any hope.

I think what hurts the most here is that Carmelo is exactly what this franchise needs. He's a true superstar, someone that would immediately reinvigorate the team and the NBA lovers in this city (trust me, they exist). Remember the packed houses to watch Iverson? Yea...me too. Melo would go a long way to helping bring those crowds back. Maybe the Sixers wouldn't be a real title contender, but they would be a good team that would be worth watching again. Honestly, that looks really good compared to what we're staring at now.

So, yes, a lot of this was me just rambling about how depressing the current state of the Sixers is. The rest was how sad it is that a big-time player becomes available and our team doesn't even have smallest chance to get him. It's frustrating and it's disheartening. There really isn't much else to say.

At this point, all I can hope for is that in the not so distant future, when a big time player becomes available, that the Sixers might actually be a player in the sweepstakes. But, honestly, that reality seems very, very far away.

Sad face emoticon.

Philadelphian's Rejoice: WILLIE GREEN TRADED!

Take a second to let it sink in: Willie Green is no longer a Sixer. We've been waiting for this moment for oh so long. No longer will we have to see him dribble a basketball off his foot. Gone are the days of Sixers fans being forced to watch him chuck up dozens of ill-advised shots that clang off the rim. No more giving 20+ minutes to a completely worthless player who contributed nothing in all areas of the game. I cannot express the happiness that came over me when I got the news. I'd say it was somewhere between the feeling you'd get on Super Bowl Sunday and how you felt as a kid on Christmas morning.

In exchange for Green and Jason Smith's expiring contracts, the Sixers got Songaila (nothing more than another expiring contract) and Craig Brackins from New Orleans. Brackins was the 21st pick in the NBA draft this year. So basically, the Sixers got a first round pick for two stiffs. Awesome.


I applaud Rod Thorn for this move and wonder why the Hornets hate Chris Paul so much. Enjoy this moment Sixers fans. No more Dalembert.  No more Willie Green.  Now only if we could find a way to get rid of Hip Hop...

[pic via Depressed Fan]

This Trade Rumor is Gold, Jerry! Gold!

By TWW friend Eric

The Phillies are pulling away in the NL east on their way to another World Series run. Football season has just begun and the Eagles are on everyone’s mind. What should I write about? Ridiculous 76ers trade rumors! Carmelo Anthony anyone?

So rumor has it that the 76ers may or may not be possibly entertaining the idea of perhaps putting together a hypothetical package which allegedly might maybe kinda include certain players leaving and others returning.

Anytime I hear “players leaving” in the same sentence as “76ers”...there is cause for excitement (Please be Willie Green Please be Willie Green Please be Willie Green Please be Willie Green).

But the really exciting thing about these rumors is they involve a bona fide superstar. There are two questions to ask here: Can the Sixers really get Carmelo? And, more importantly, should the Sixers get Carmelo?

No. To get him we’d need to give up A.I., E.T., Thad or Speights, and both of our big expiring contracts (J-Kap and Bill “Money” Green). That is a ridiculous amount to give up for a guy with a 0% chance of resigning with the Sixers. If we could get it done without including Turner, then I say go for it, but that’s nahganna happen.

Now to the real possibility: a three team deal that sends Carmelo and Ty Lawson to the Niets, Favors and JR Smith to the Sixers, and has Iggy (and his god awful hair cut), Thad, and Devin Harris in Denver.

Putting aside my unexplainable JR Smith boner, I would do this deal in a heart beat. If you can turn an awful contract (Andre “80 Million” Dala) into a young big man with all-star potential, you don’t pass on that opportunity. Would the Nuggs make this deal? I can't see why, but apparently they like Iguodala so who the hell knows. The Nets, on the other hand, make out like Wet Bandits, swapping an overrated, injury prone, point guard and the #3 pick for one of the 10 best players in the NBA (with a legit shot to resign him) and a young point guard.

One final note: Allen Iverson may be joining the world famous, Vaseline eating, Starbury in China. Does that make him “Allen Iverson-son”? Or is that a Japanese thing?...

Anyway, sad to see it end this way. My aforementioned JR Smith Boner is nothing compared to the big veiny triumphant bastard I have for Iverson. Before this gets any gayer (more gay?) let me just say this: Allen Iverson is, was, and always will be my favorite athlete and is the reason I’m a sports fan. Say what you want about the guy, he left everything he had on the court every single game and I fully expect him to do the same in China. Just against guys named Wang.

This is getting long, so I’ll leave you with this:

“You basically can say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end” – Kanye West via Twitter

 lol.

Fun With Trades That Won't Happen

So apparently Colby Rasmus isn't too well liked by teammate Albert Pujols or manager Tony LaRussa and has requested a trade from St Louis management. That happened a few days ago. Since then everyone is predictably backpedaling, but I’m quite sure it’s still an issue in the Cardinals organization. The Cardinals would probably be better served getting rid of LaRussa than its high-end young talent, but what do I know?

Now, several blogs are posting possible destinations for Rasmus. After the jump I'll leave you with my proposal and a video you've probably seen before, but is worth posting again if only to ensure the creator is thoroughly embarrassed in the interwebs forever. 

Oh, and this dog in a Wonder-Woman getup has nothing to do with anything.  Or does it?  Yeah...you just think about that....

Now, as our very own Wetz would attest, I love me some Colby Rasmus. My fantasy baseball teams are proof of this. So I'm just sayin'... how about the Phillies pull a trade for a young, budding talent who has a fantastic chance of developing into a great Major Leaguer? Rasmus, in his second year in the league, has a stat line this year of 19 homers, 55 RBI’s, 10 stolen bases with .268 average (in addition to Gold Glove caliber play in Centerfield). He just turned 24 and has an extremely high ceiling and is going to be very, very good in the near future.

Who would I give up? Glad you asked, mystery reader. Victorino and a pitching prospect -- in a heartbeat. While many people love their Flyin’ Hawaiian, he sometimes pisses me off and can often be frustrating to watch (although Jayson Werth is giving him a serious for his money this year). I’m not alone in this sentiment - PhuturePhillies even tweeted the same the other day. Think about an outfield of Dom Brown, Colby Rasums, and whoever replaces Ibanez in 2012. NASTY. Howie Roseman would make this shit happen.

Alright, I know I just did A LOT of Colby Rasmus slurping, but listen: I'm not a delusional caller on 610 nor do I seriously believe the Cardinals would even consider this trade (they can't really afford to take on a payroll increase - especially with Pujols’ extension looming). But since when is it a crime to dream? And most importantly, it gives me a reason to post this random girl's video entitled "Colby Rasmus Fire Burning In The Outfield". This song is horrociously fantastic.

Colby Rasmus!

The One Where I Gush Over the Antwan Barnes Trade

Howie Roseman is a (inappropriate comment)*. And I say that in the most sincerely appreciative, complimentary way imaginable.

This man knows how to negotiate. While some early reports suggested his wheelin'/dealin' style may put him out of favor with other GMs around the league, what he has accomplished thus far in such a short amount of time is remarkable. Sure, it's far too early to grade all of his moves since, you know, the season hasn't started yet. But if you we're looking for the Eagles to get younger/get faster/cut payroll/rid themselves of malcontents, Mr. Roseman has more than delivered.

With that, I present you with the latest reason why I'm on the Rose-wagon: getting Antwan Barnes for a 7th round pick.

Sure, the biggest news of this weekends "cut day" was the signing of uber-average guard Reggie Wells and the trading of the awful, awful Stacy Andrews, but I believe this Barnes trade will make the biggest impact on this season. Why? Because Ravens fans think their team got hosed.

via Ravens Insider:

"'It was a shock to all of us,' outside linebacker Prescott Burgess said Monday. 'Antwan Barnes is a great pass rusher and a great player. I don’t what happened upstairs or the reason why they traded him.'"

And from the comments:

"Wow. I didn't see this one coming."

"This trade was also a shock to me. Barnes as, and always has been, an excellent pass rusher. Why he didn't get on the field much after that bengals game is a mystery to me.... Barnes' forte is getting to the QB...I think the Ravens will regret not having an edge rusher like Barnes."

"An absolute giveaway by Harbaugh. I don't understand why Newsome signed onto this."

via Baltimore Beat Down:

"Jesus. We got screwed. Maybe Ozzie does get trade raped..."

"Kind of upset about this move. I was really looking forward to seeing what Barnes was going to do this year..."

"Yea, I say a conditional 4th with it dropping down to a 3rd based on Barnes tearing it up, which I think he will do. They got some serious speed on the edges with Barnes and their rookie."

"It has to be at least a 4th round pick, because that is what Barnes was for us and has only increased his value. I am thinking a conditional 4th."

"So a 3rd, 4th, or 5th? Because If he went for anything less then that, we just got screwed."

Again, Rosie got him for a SEVENTH ROUNDER.

There's also this story from mid-August which salivates over Barnes' potential this year. Call me over excited if you want, but this dude is a legitimate pass rusher, a natural DE, AND has the ability to play OLB.

Maybe Ravens head coach John Harbaugh and Fat Andy being boys greased the trade wheels a bit, but the fact that Howie "Brooklyn" Roseman somehow turned Stacy Andrews into Antwan Barnes is awesome. Kudos, my Chosen friend.

 *My sincere apologies to anyone who was offended by my comments. I now recognize the unfortunate timing here and can only offer a sincere apology and my own embarrassment.

A Big Ol’ Bowl of Win

It wasn’t that long ago boys and girls that our swashbuckling GM, Rubes Jr., traded an ace away for a few middling prospects. Well, just when I think he couldn’t possibly be any dumber, he goes and does something like this…AND TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF!!!

We all beat up GM’s from time to time whether it’s for signing players to bad contracts, trading away prospects we love for crappy rental players or for not making trades we really think they should make. If a move doesn’t pay off, we chastise them for it. If it does work, well, we focus on the players who made it happen. For the most part, it’s a rather thank-less job. But, I really have to hand it to Ruben here, he pulled off quite the coup in the Oswalt deal. It’s enough of a coup actually, that I almost, but not quite, will consider forgiving him for the Cliff Lee Fiasco of 2010.

But, alas, this isn't about Cliff Lee (actually everything is always about Cliff Lee, but I digress). It's about a pitcher named Roy and a dream. A dream to win another World Series and fleece Ed Wade in the process. Did the Phillies realize this dream today? Let's find out.


Here’s the official breakdown:

Phillies Get:

RHP Roy Oswalt

$11,000,000

Ed Wade’s Manhood

Astros Get:

LHP JA Happ

OF Anthony Gose (who was immediately sent to the Blue Jays for 1B Brett Wallace, who was dealt from Oakland to Toronto for ex-Phillies prospect Michael Taylor)

SS Jonathan Villar

If that seems almost too good to be true, it’s because it pretty much is. Considering the Phillies obtained a top 30 pitcher (which is what Oswalt still is) without giving up ANY top prospects (Gose is the closest at #6 per Baseball America) is unbelievable. It’s become apparent that the cost for a good starter (as proven last week as well in the Dan Haren trade) isn’t as high as fans thought. When only a few teams in baseball can afford to take on salary (like the Phillies somehow can) it really limits the number of options team looking to trade have. This, thankfully, dramatically lowered the cost for Oswalt. For most of the morning I heard a lot of names thrown around, but in the end all the top guys like Singleton, Colvin and Cosart remain. That’s good news as the Phillies get better in 2010 and 2011, while still keeping all their high ceiling talent they’ll need to be good in 2012 and beyond. No matter how you slice it, a rotation of Halladay, Hamels, Lee…er…Oswalt looks pretty formidable for the next year +2 months.

So what can we expect from Oswalt? Well, I’d say a 7-4 record with a 3.39 ERA and 74 K’s in 79 IP. The playoffs? Probably a 4-0 record with a 1.56 ERA. Wait, what? Oh, I hadn’t noticed. Those are the exact stats that Cliff Lee put up last year? Interesting. Purely a coincidence, I promise. Ok, I lied, I did that on purpose…but really I expect good things from Roy #2. He’s pitched in big games (he was the 2005 NLCS MVP) and sports a lifetime ERA of 3.24. His K/9 rate is the highest it’s been since his rookie season and he wants to win. Sounds like a guy I want on my side for the stretch run.

To be honest though, I can’t give all the credit to Amaro. Really, he had a lot of help from Ed Wade (unless you believe the report that Astros owner Drayton McLane handled the negotiations directly with David Montgomery, which would be like having two Walrus’s try to decide how much plutonium to put in a bomb, while also fixing our national deficit and figuring out an exit strategy for the Middle East). Trading with Ed Wade is like having your friend buy you a hooker, it’s free and easy sex so you have do it, but it always leaves you feeling dirty and like you ripped him off. So while I can’t blame Amaro for taking advantage of a (PC LANGUAGE ALERT) mentally handicapped person, I still can’t give him full credit. It might not be as easy as taking candy from a baby, but it’s definitely as easy as catching a blowie from a fat chick.

Anyway, this trade puts the Phillies a whole lot closer to a third straight trip to the World Series. Is it a guarantee? Definitely not, but I really like our chances now. The only mini-negative is that we gave up a high-ceiling infielder, something we don’t have much of in our system, and a controllable #5 starter for the next four seasons. But, we won’t miss Gose since we have similar players all over our system in Tyson Gillies, Jiwan James and a host of other ‘toolsy’ outfielders. So as long as Mr. Happ doesn’t develop into Cliff Lee, we’re good. And that has about as much of a chance of happening as me banging a stripper in Vegas during my bachelor party. Which means it would never happen. Cause I don't do that kind of stuff. It's gross. Totally gross.

Go Phils. Let's do it again.

Your Cross-dressing Roy Oswalt Update

It's being reported everywhere that Oswalt is a waived no-trade clause away from being a Phillie. It's certain that JA Happ will be sent to Houston to die a death brought on by lack of run support. Nobody knows anything about how the money will work in the deal, or what prospects are involved.

In case you're wondering, (to our knowledge) Roy Oswalt isn't really a cross-dresser. That pic is from his rookie year in what I'm guessing was some type of hazing. So there's really no update there, just a picture that wasn't Oswalt in mid-throwing motion.

TheWizWit will give you a full analysis later if this thing actually happens. Remember when Cliff Lee was a Yankee a couple weeks ago? Yeah, anything can fall through.


[pic via Alyson's Footnotes - MLB Blog Network: Houston Astros]

The One Where Jamie Moyer's Elbow Turned to Dust

He was quickly diagnosed as suffering from "a touch of old". Wacky medical terms.

Don't feel bad for him though, the mere mention of Jamie Moyers' name causes women to climax. Something about dry skin and Brut aftershave on neckbeard makes ladies go wild.

Ehhh, maybe not. The injury looks like an elbow strain and he'll be on the DL for a while.

In case you didn't see the game last night, Ruben Amaro appeared in the pre-game to chat with Tom McCarthy. He seemed to let on he knows exactly what he plans to do in terms of trading. Something is definitely going to go down. Shortly thereafter, Moyer got hurt and was replaced by the newly called up Andrew Carpenter. Carpenter then quickly surrendered homers.

Then the "Jayson Werth to the Rays, Roy Oswalt to the Phillies, and prospects to the Astros" talk heated up over the internets during the game. The trade makes sense for all parties involved and I wouldn’t be surprised if it went down. A better long-term move may be for Dan Haren though. He's struggled early this year, but he's a legit Ace and great #2 who'd be asked to fall in behind Halladay and Hamels. Then there's JA Happ still working shit out in the minors (he'll likely take Kendrick's spot Saturday).

With the trade deadline a week and half away, I'm 100% sure someone new is coming to the Phillies rotation. I just hope they go with Oswalt or Haren. If they trade anything of value for a year of Ben Sheets, I'll be awful salty.

Phils to Trade Werth Because He is a Home Wrecker

Not really. Unless you believe twitter and internet rumors.

TheDirty reported that a ‘very reliable clubhouse source’ has said Jayson Werth is having sensual beard-sex with Chase Utley’s wife. Go ahead and get all the “Jen Utley - so easy a caveman can do it” jokes off your chest, I’ll wait.

Obviously, that report is just silly, and the chances of TheDirty being correct here are about as likely as Chris ‘Birdman’ Anderson not being high as shit right now. I'm quite sure there's no truth to a Werth/Utely affair.

But that talk of Werth being traded? Well that came from a legitimate source:

Will it lead to a trade? My guess would be probably not. Teams that would want to trade for Werth are teams who have a shot at winning the World Series this year. With his impending free agency, he's a one year rental – he’s no use to bad teams (unless they work out a long-term contract prior to completing the trade). What MLB team is going to give up a #2 or 3 starter to get Werth when they’re trying to compete for a title? Regardless of who they traded him to, the Phillies would basically be signaling one of two things:

a). It's time raise the white flag. Injuries and bad luck have proved to be too much to handle and we'll put ourselves in the best possible position entering 2011.

b). We can win without Jayson Werth. Dom Brown has been a monster all year in the minors and he can fill Werth's shoes. Between Brown and the #2 pitcher netted in the Werth trade, we can still march toward the playoffs, not going down without a fight.

Which would it be?  Nobody knows.  There isn't even a great likelyhood this happens, so we'll have to see how the Phils play on the field over the next couple weeks.  But, for the record, I don’t really want the Phillies to re-sign Jayson Werth at the end of the year, so I'm fine if they get a high-end pitcher. If you don’t agree with me, or have the mindset of everyone that calls 610 WIP, let me remind you of a few things:

1). Pitching wins championships.
2). Jayson Werth will want the same type of contract the Mets gave Jason Bay (if not more).
3). Jason Bay signed a 4 year 66M (with vesting options for a 5th bringing the contract value to 80+ million).
4). Werth will be 32 on opening day next year.

Do you really want to tie up that much money in Werth for the next 5 years? His contract could look as disastrous as Howard's in a few years. Having two contracts of that size on the books for two guys in their mid 30's could prove to be something the Phillies don't recover from should their skills deteriorate in the next few years.

Just go trade for Dan Haren and call up Dom Brown and I’ll be happy.

And as for the Werth/Jen Utley rumor? I'd only believe foul play was afoot if Jeff Carter were involved somehow.

This DL Thing Really Grinds My Gears

Chase Utley and Placido Polanco hit the DL today. That isn't good news. Even with their recent surge, which has them back to within 2.5 games of the Braves, the Phillies have more to worry about now than three weeks ago. Can they survive without Utley and Polanco in the order? Who will step up? Why the hell don't we still have Cliff Lee? Will I work late every day? These are the questions keeping me up at night.

Until Utley meets with a hand specialist in Philadelphia, we won't know how long he'll be out. Hopefully he's back right after the All-Star break. If not we're kinda screwed, unless we bring back Tad Iguchi. As far as Polanco is concerned, well, his head is so big and I still don't understand why. His huge dome-ness aside, he's been this teams most consistent hitter all year so losing him isn't something I take lightly. There is talk the elbow will probably bother him all year and that he'll need surgery in the offseason. Double ugh.

Anyway, unless Howard and Werth both get hot and Ibanez remembers how to hit more than once a week, it looks like the Phillies might need a trade or two to keep them in World Series contention. While all I expect them to add is a bullpen arm, if Happ doesn't come back strong they will need a starter. If Utley is going to miss an extended period of time, they will need a second baseman. And if Polanco can't come back for a while, we would be stuck with Greg Dobbs and Juan Castro as our third basemen. That's about as uninspiring as a Nicolas Cage movie.

So, what should they do? Well, the most important thing is figuring out how long Utlanco will be out. Knowing that will clear a lot of things up. But, to really push for a World Series (which should be the goal) they probably need another very good starter. I'd love to see them make a push for Dan Haren, whose stock has dropped but is signed for a few more years. They'd have to increase payroll to do it, but he'd help through 2012 AND probably wouldn't cost Brown or Cosart due to his subpar year. There have at least been rumblings that Arizona might shop him and if those are true Ruben Amaro better at least give it a shot.

Ultimately though, they probably will aim for someone in the same ilk of a Joe Blanton from a few years ago. So what does that mean? Try these names on for size:

Jeremy Guthrie? Yuck.

Eric Bedard? I'm not even sure he has a shoulder.

Ted Lilly? Reminds me a Cory Lidle, minus being a terrible pilot. (He doesn't remind me of Cory Lidle at all. Lilly is actually pretty good. I just figured no none had made a Cory Lidle joke on this blog. Consider this the first and probably the last.)

Ben Sheets? He'd be on the DL upon arrival, I have no doubt.

There simply isn't much out there (which might be a good thing because the Phillies don't have much to give up anyway). But they are going to do something, they always do.

So, needless to say, it should be a riveting month of July for the Phils. After playing much better during interleague play than we could have hoped for, they sit within stricking distance of first place. If Utley and Polanco come back in mid-July AND Happ comes back strong AND Danys Baez is deported, we stand a good chance of making the playoffs. Shake in some luck and a big time move by Rubes and we got ourselves another champion.

Or Utley misses the rest of the season, Polanco's head explodes, Baez gives up 589 more HRs and we trade for Kevin Millwood. Let's hope for the former.

Sound The Vuvuzelas - DALEMBERT TRADED!

The day has come where all the frustrations of Samuel Dalembert have been lifted off Philadelphia basketball fans' shoulders. Sammy D is no longer a 76er. Like every other Philly sports fan with the ability to put together a complete thought, we here at TheWizWit have hated Sammy since day one. In case you forgot, THIS was the first post to ever appear on this blog.

You’ll be surprised how much my emotions shifted after hearing this news…

The details as reported by ESPN - The Kings have agreed to trade 22 year old, 7 foot center Spencer Hawes and Andres Nocioni to Philly for Dalemberts' $14.8M contract.

First hearing this made happy beyond belief. Sammy Dalembert is a terrible basketball player, and we'll never have to be aggravated by him again. Nocioni is an a decent role player off the bench and Hawes (while a little soft) has showed flashes of promise since being drafted in 2007. (sidebar – the Sixers will still be carrying Nocioni’s $7M salary into 2011, so don’t think that getting rid of Sammy’s contract is going to equal a big FA splash next year.)

HOWEVA - after letting it sink in for approximately three and half minutes, I grew scared. I fear this means the Sixers will not choose Evan Turner #2 and totally fuck up everything I had hoped for.  Not to mention - could they have done better in the deal?  Should they have held out for a late pick as well?  Is Nocioni going to create a greater strain on minutes for Thad and Speights?  Will Hawes be too much of a defensive liability?

Those are all questions bouncing around in my head.  But here are two points why, for the first time, things don't seem as clear cut for Turner as I once thought (hoped).

1). Hawes is only under contract through next season.

2). This comes on the heels of Evan Turners' workout in Philly this morning.

To me, unless they are absolutely in love with Hawes and plan on extending him quickly, the center position is going to be a gaping hole on this team in 2011. And is it possible Doug Collins didn’t like what he saw when Turner worked out earlier today? The whole thing just stinks of the Sixers drafting a big man.

I don’t know... maybe I'm just paranoid, but this team has made a lot of terrible decisions in the past. Right now, I can't help but think that it looks like Favors may be their guy.  I hope I'm wrong and they love Hawes' potential and will still draft Evan Turner.  Should they decide to go with Cousins, I'm not watching basketball next year.

We’ll have to wait till next weeks’ draft to see what happens with the #2 pick. Regardless if your rooting for Turner or Favors, at least enjoy the fact you won’t have to see this clown (see below) anywhere near your basketball team again.

So long Sammy.  I’m sure people in Sacramento don't really care about basketball, so you'll fit in just fine.  At least Sammy got to win that Olympic Hockey gold.

UPDATE! With a new picture from TWW friend Dave P:

Pretty sure Keanu is the only person sad-enough to feel bad that you're gone.