Chris Berman's Mustache Looks Terrible, Requires Mockery

"HE COULD...LOOK...SUPE...ER...GAYY!"

C'mon Berman, I'm normally a fan of 'staches but nothing positive can be said of yours. I understand that a mans gotta do things to spice up his look from time to time, but how about considering a dress shirt with sleeves instead of allowing that creature to nest on your lip. You look gross, dude. You look like the 30-year owner of a leather shop in San Fran's Castro district.

Get that Von Kaiser Mike Tyson's Punch Out shit off yo face. I don't care how many self-deprecating jokes you make, it doesn't excuse you for looking like you do on national television.  Whoop!

It's as Simple as That

Marty has come a long way since his notoriously terrible head coaching days with the Lions.

The Transformation of Trevor Laws

By all accounts, Eagles DT Trevor Laws has looked impressive this camp. I mean, look at all the lazy and analogous reporting positive stories on his progression! Dominating the line of scrimmage. Getting pressure on the QB's. Stuffing the run. This is great news, people!

But what was the catalyst for such a drastic advancement in T-Laws' play? Offseason fitness programs? Confidence from experience at the professional level? Pressure from the coaching staff? Nope!

MUSTACHE.













When Trevor first burst onto the scene, he was just a big kid with a Jew-y afro and an infectious smile. But just look at this motherfucker now!

If the Old Spice guy, cartoon Tarzan, Antoine Laconte from Deuce Bigalo, and Tom Selleck's mustache somehow all impregnated some giant-sized woman...2010 Trevor Laws would be the lovechild. Sure he still resembles the dude in your dorm that made bongs out of fruit, but now he looks like he could carve that apple and bang your girlfriend at the same time.

Thanks to a little hard work and a lot of upper lip bristle, there's a big season ahead for our boy @TrevorLaws. OBEY THE LAWS!!

UPDATE!