A Way Too Early Look At The Eagles 2011 Record

Before I start, let's all remember that I did this last year and while I predicted the correct final record (10-6), I only got about half the games right individually. So what matters more? Where you end up or how you got there? I'm going with the former, but honestly does it matter if we don't have football next year anyway? Let's hope the owners stop being bitches and end this thing. Chad Hall needs a job.

Anyway, here's an all too premature look at exactly how the Eagles season will go next year:

Week One: at St. Louis (1 PM, FOX)

Um, the Rams? Yea, I know they were better last year and all, but let's be honest...they still suck. If the Eagles don't dominate this game right out of the shoot, we're in trouble. 1-0.

Week Two: at Atlanta (8:20 PM, NBC)

Vick returns home. Atlanta's home opener. The Eagles have owned the Falcons over the past few years, and dominated them last year in the midst of their #1 seed season (with Kolb no less). 2-0.

Week Three: N.Y. Giants (1 PM, FOX)

I feel like the Eagles never play the Giants this early. It's kinda weird to be honest, like a hand job. I mean, you know you've had it before, but it's been so long you can't remember. Anyway, until the Giants actually beat the Eagles again I refuse to believe it can happen. 3-0.

Week Four: San Francisco (1PM, FOX)

The 49ers game, which seems to happen every year, is always close. Like annoyingly so. Whatever, 3-1.

Week Five: at Buffalo (1PM, FOX)

Rumors ran wild that this game would be played in Toronto. It won't be, it will be played in Buffalo. I know some people were pissed about going to Toronto, cause Canada sucks, but Buffalo is worse. It's basically the Canada of the US. 4-1.

Week Six: at Washington (1PM, FOX)

Remember the last time they played the Redskins in Washington? Sure do. Not sure who the Redskins QB will be this year either, but I bet they suck. 5-1.

Week Seven: BYE WEEK

Week Eight: Dallas (8:20 PM, NBC)

I have a weird, sickening feeling that the Cowboys will be good again this year. Everything went wrong for them last year, and they still almost beat the Eagles twice. Andy Reid never loses after the bye though. So I'll run with the big guy here. 6-1.

Week Nine: Chicago (8:30 PM, ESPN)

Monday Night Football. Jaws. Gruden. The Bears. A loss. 6-2.

Week Ten: Arizona (1 PM, FOX)

I'm not sure what to make of the NFC West yet. They can't possibly be that bad again, but will they be good? Probably not. 7-2.

Week Eleven: N.Y. Giants (8:30 PM, NBC)

I think I've covered my thoughts on the Giants. 8-2.

Week Twelve: New England (4:15 PM, CBS)

The Patriots don't have that aura anymore, not after choking in the playoffs last year. They're beatable, they're quarterback is a terrible dancer and cries, They're defense is still a work in progress. But they'll still beat the Eagles. 8-3.

Week Thirteen: at Seattle (8:20 PM, NFL Network)

Stupid Thursday night games. Pain in my ass. As long as Marshawn Lynch doesn't go all beast mode on us, I think we'll be fine here. 9-3.

Week Fourteen: at Miami (1 PM, FOX)

Remember that awesome game in Miami 8 years ago? Brian Westbrook going all air-born and shit. Eagles won that game, this one too. 10-3

Week Fifteen: N.Y. Jets (4:15 PM, CBS)

The Eagles have finished the last few years on some sour notes. The Jets are probably a bad match-up here, being all good at defense and stuff. Plus a 3-0 sweep of NY is probably too much to ask. 10-4.

Week Sixteen: at Dallas (4:15 PM, FOX)

Odds are this game gets flexed, because I really believe it's our Birds and the Cowboys for the NFC East this year. Sadly, I think this game is a loss, I just have a bad feeling about Dallas this year. 10-5.

Week Seventeen: Washington (1PM, FOX)

It's about time they don't end with Dallas. That was getting old. Anyway, 11-5.

There you have it, 11-5. Not sure what that will be good for, either the #2 or #3 seed, or maybe a wild card if Dallas is really good (fuck the Giants). Either way, the schedule is a pretty balanced one, and there is an awesome road game (Miami) on there. I bet that stadium ends up 75% Eagles fans, easily.

Go Birds.

Phillies Predictions Sure To Go Wrong

The Phillies have four really good starting pitchers. We, along with every analyst, writer and baseball fan across America, know this. There is little doubt, minus unforeseen injuries, that those four pitchers will dominate the competition this year. All of them could win 15+ games (assuming good run support, which I'll get to later) and should be good for 200+ innings. Halladay and Lee, who were #1 and #2 in innings per start last year, are two of MLB's true workhorses and very well could finish #1 and #2 in NL Cy Young voting this year. I mean when Joe Blanton is your #5 starter, you don't have much to worry about when it comes to pitching.

However, this team still has some major questions. Utley's health aside (which everyone knows is a big deal), this team has questions in the bullpen, outfield and on the bench. 100 wins, which three months ago looked like easy money, is probably the max this team can do. In fact, I'm saying they win 94. A few other predictions sure to go wrong:

• Utley will play less than half the season. Injuries that are covered in this much darkness are NEVER good. Once a week the Phillies give us a little nugget of information, make up some new disease or injury name, schedule some specialist or test and call it a day. Utley can't even run yet, let alone make baseball-type moves. If he plays before the All-Star break, I'll be surprised.
• Ryan Howard will rebound to hit 40+ HR again. He, more than anyone else, knows how important he is to this team now that Werth is gone and Utley is likely to miss a large part of the season. Howard knows the knocks on his, and he can't be thrilled with his third-strike-looking end to last season. He's set for one final big year, before he likely starts to decline in 2012.
• Brad Lidge will suck. I'm not going to define "suck." But one thing is for sure, Brad Lidge is not having a good year. In fact, there's a good change this shoulder issue knocks him out for quite some time. That may be a good thing, since you never know what you're getting from him anyway. But thanks for 2008!
• No Phillies pitcher wins 20 games. I think Halladay and Lee should be good for about 18, but 20 is hard without run support. I simply don't see the Phillies scoring enough runs for their aces to have somebody earn a 'W' 20 times.
  
• The Phillies will win the division, but only by a game. The Braves are good, very good in fact, so I see this being a dogfight. Don't be surprised if the Braves run out to a lead, especially when the Phillies hit their usual May and June swoon. In the end I think they'll be there, but if things go right for the Braves (and wrong for our Phils) the division will probably be theirs to lose.
• World Series prediction? The Red Sox will get there from the AL. The NL? Well, I'll just let that one play out (I see a Braves-Phillies NLCS).
• Some awards: NL Cy Young: Clayton Kershaw; AL Cy Young: Jon Lester; NL MVP: Ryan Braun; AL MVP: Carl Crawford; NL Rookie of the Year: Freddie Freeman; AL Rookie of the Year: Mike Moustakas; NL Manager of the Year: Fredi Gonzalez; AL Manager of the Year: Ron Washington
  

So let's hope that 1) I'm wrong about Utley, 2) The Braves suck and 3) Rubes makes another shrewd move or two at the deadline to help the offense. All told, we're in for an exciting year and if all goes well (fingers crossed) another parade come late October (or early November?).

Cliff Lee.

Phillies Will Win 111 Games

By TWW friend 'Anonymous'

Before I give you this prediction, I should let you know that I'm like, half a psychic ova' here. I see things in dreams, I swear to god. And I can also detect left handed people. Basically, I can say what you're thinking, if you said something next to me. Sometimes, I'll be singing a song, and then I turn on the radio, and that song is on, swear to god. So I'm using my powers here, to come up with a prediction of sort. So here it goes: The Phillies are winning 111 games this year.

How did you come up with this arbitrary number? Simple, the universe talks to me. Here's a thing; take the year you were born and add that number to the age you are/will be in 2011. Example, me: 84' + 27= 111. It works for everyone. J-Roll said we were chasing history. 111-51, it's happenin' like Sammy Kapanen.

Baseball is a game of numbers. Any true fan will tell you that. It's the math of the game that makes the most sense, and when you combine the math with wild speculation, and a community college level understanding of logic, it makes perfect sense. If Robert Downey Jr said it, you'd be all like, how clever.

Go Phillies!


[pic via Philly.com / Yong Kim]

Your Ridiculously Early Superbowl Odds For 2012

Bodog posted the early lines for each team’s odds at winning Superbowl XLVI. Our Philadelphia Eagles sit at 16/1 which is actually slightly worse odds of winning than I'd thought they get. I figured they'd be more in the 14/1 or 12/1 range. As you might've guessed the Packers have the best odds at 7/1, followed by the Patriots at 8/1 and the Steelers at 10/1. The Birds have the same odds of winning next year’s Superbowl as the Falcons, Cowboys, and Jets. Your “longshots-who-will-never-win-a-Superbowl-ever” teams are the Panthers and Bills at 100/1.

So if you're a betting man, here are two picks I'd jump on now in case either of these teams signs/trades for a QB for next year: Cardinals 75/1 and Vikings 35/1.

While they're both giving you great value, don't fall into a trap of broken promises and disappointment by betting on the Chargers at a silly 12/1. Those fuckers have ruined my Superbowl prediction for the last 3 years. Bunch of paper-champion, poorly coached, shitheads.  Philip Rivers is a boner.

2011 NFL Opponents Announced, NFC East Automatically Gets Four Wins

The NFL has released the home and away opponents for the 2011 regular season. As most of you know, each team plays their six division games, a division within their own conference, and a division in the opposing conference on a rotating basis. Next year the Eagles and the rest of the NFC East are bestowed the gift of the NFC West. So at absolute worst, we're going 4-12.

Of course the NFC East also draws the AFC East next year meaning the Patriots and Jets are coming to Philly. Hey, at least we get the Bills.

At first lazy glance, I'm predicting 11-5 with losses to Dallas, NY Giants, Chicago, New England and Miami. Too early for a prediction, you say? Of course. But you know you did the same thing when you saw the graphic above. Hypocrite.

A Few NBA Predictions to Chew On

With a separate Sixers Preview on it’s way, I figured I’d jot down some quick NBA predictions since, ya know, I do predictions so friggin’ well and all. This NBA season promises to be one of the most interesting in recent memory. LeBron's talents have been brought to South Beach, Chris Bosh joined him, Kevin Durant is the best pure scorer since MJ, Shaq is now a Celtic, Dwight Howard has something to prove, Melo should be a Knick or Net at some point, a pending lockout is on the horizon, Evan Turner might suck, John Wall is nasty, the Spurs make their last stand and the Cavs will be terrible. Ultimately, all of that should make for great theater.

So, without further ado: 5 Things That Will Happen This Year:

1) Kevin Durant will win the MVP. It will be difficult for LeBron to win a third straight when Dwayne Wade will likely be just as instrumental in the Heat’s success. Carmelo is too unhappy, Chris Paul doesn’t have enough talent around him and Dirk is simply too boring. I say the award comes down to Durant and an “on a mission” Dwight Howard. A dark-horse could be a healthy Brandon Roy, but that’s never going to happen (the healthy part).

2) John Wall will win the Rookie of the Year award. I know a lot is being made of Blake Griffin, especially with him dominating in the preseason, but Wall is just a special talent. He should immediately be a great defender and he’s way too quick for any point guard in the Eastern Conference to guard (minus Rondo or maybe Jrue). I fully expect him to explode on the scene, think Derrick Rose-type rookie numbers with more assists and steals. You’re looking at an 18/7/4 guy, with a steal or two per game. Unless Griffin goes 22/12 off the bat (which I guess he totally could do) he won’t win the award over Wall.

3) The Miami Heat will win the East. Listen, you’re going to hear a bunch of experts talk about how the Heat won’t gel enough to win and that teams like the Celtics and Magic will play better team basketball (you know, the kind of basketball that wins in the playoffs). You’ll also hear that they don’t have the bench, or the size to match up with Dwight Howard and a Celtic team that throws multiple O’Neal’s (Shaq and Jermaine) and eventually a healthy Kendrick Perkins at you. That may be true, but it’s been a long ass time since we had two of the five best NBA players on the same team. LeBron James and Dwyane Wade might even be the best TWO players in the league (sorry Kobe). Sometimes something looks so plausible that people try to find holes in it since nothing is supposed to be “too good to be true.” Well, this is. The Heat are going to the NBA finals.

4) The Lakers will three-peat as NBA champions. However, I still believe that the Lakers are better than the Heat. As they proved against the Celtics, they have more size than anyone can handle and I’m willing to bet they bring Bynum along slowly this year to make sure he recovers fully from his knee surgery. They won’t need him until the playoffs, so if he’s back before the All-Star break I’d be surprised. The Lakers won’t face too much of a challenge in the conference, the Suns aren’t as good without Amare’s scoring, the Thunder still need a big man and the Spurs are just too old. The Mavs have a team built to win in 2005, the Blazers can’t stay healthy and the Jazz just don’t have enough scorers. Ultimately the Lakers should coast to a meeting with the Heat in the finals. There, I believe their length wins out. Kobe will get ring #6. And you know what that means…

5) The ‘Is Kobe better than Jordan?’ conversation will get really annoying. It already is, but most experts, ex-players, analysts, etc. always say, “Listen, Jordan won six rings. For Kobe to even get into the convo, he’ll have to do the same. Then, we’ll talk.” So, yea, that’s going to happen this year, meaning it’s time to talk. I’m not saying that this is real news per say, since people have been comparing Jordan and Kobe for years. What I’m saying is that Kobe winning another title will stoke the fire to an all-time high, something none of us are prepared for. ESPN has probably already prepared 497 different graphs and charts comparing the two, and PTI and Around the Horn are blocking off all of next June to discuss. Prepare yourselves. You’ve been warned.

East Standings Predictions:
Atlantic Division: Celtics; Knicks; Sixers; Nets; Raptors
Central: Bulls, Bucks, Pacers, Cavs, Pistons
Southeast: Heat, Magic, Hawks, Bobcats, Wizards

West Standings Predictions:
Northwest: Thunder, Blazers, Jazz, Nuggets, Timberwolves
Pacific: Lakers, Suns, Clippers, Kings, Warriors
Southwest: Mavericks, Spurs, Rockets, Grizzlies, Hornets

Eastern Conference Finals - Heat over Magic

Western Conference Finals – Lakers over Spurs

Finals – Lakers over Heat

Sixers Record – 34 – 48. Evan Turner's rookie line: 11 ppg, 4.5 assists, 4 rebounds. Iggy still doesn't make an All-Star team. Elton Brand averages 16 ppg.

Enjoy the season.

Three Men and a Baby: NFC East Preview

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TheWizWit Fantasy Football Sleepers & Busts (With Jokes!)

I'm going to caution you.  This IS NOT a list of rankings.  There are a ton of places in cyberspace where you can find a fantasy football rankings list.  Plus, rankings lists are  overrated.  Anyone with a working brainstem has at least a rough idea of where guys should be drafted.  If anything, the primary use of a rankings list is to cross the names off as guys come off the board during your draft.  They really just make sure you don't have a mental lapse and forget about a player still being available.

Fantasy leagues are won in these middle and late rounds.  Nobody should have a problem getting through the first few rounds of a draft - unless you took Matt Forte with your first pick last year, of course.  So sit back, relax, and let TheWizWit be responsible for your success - which I'm sure you'll then steal and claim to your friends you had this master plan along.

Now, I'm doing this for free so I'm going to keep things to a minimum of a few players per category.  If this is your first time, or you're super pathetic, feel free to email us and we'd be happy to draft a winner for you.  The number following each player's name is their current ADP (average draft position) in ESPN drafts.

Your average, mid-round sleepers. Guys that'll out-perform the position you'll draft them:

Dwayne Bowe - 62.5 - Bowe is a guy that got kind of got forgotten about on account of him being an asshole, Todd Haley being stubborn, and Matt Cassel not being very good. But, the talent is there and he comes at a bargain from where he was a year ago.

Justin Forsett - 65.1 - Even though the Seahawks don't seem very inclined to give him the starting job, he's really their best option - by far.

Santana Moss – 82.4 - I think a guy like Santana Moss will thrive now that he has a QB who can air the ball out. Moss is going to catch quite a few 30+ yard passes from McNabb and is going to have a sneaky good year.

Michael Bush - 102.5 - Bush is truly an underrated runner and not many people talk about him. His biggest competition was Justin Fargas who's in Denver now.

Arian Foster - 112.1 - Foster has been picking up steam and his ADP has gotten earlier with each passing week. His competition is Steve Slaton, who is a very dynamic back, but loves to fumble (which was the reason he saw the bench in second half of last season). Slaton even fumbled in the Texans pre-season opener.

Guys that someone will reach for on draft day:

Dez Bryant - A Cowboys fan, or that guy you draft with that loves picking rookies is going to take him a round or two earlier than he deserves. If he's on your team, I'm assuming you were that sucker.

Michael Crabtree - His QB is Alex Smith. Don’t get too antsy in the pantsy here.

Kevin Kolb - I think Kolb is going to have a good year, especially from a fantasy perspective. But if you're reading this blog, you'll be drafting with Eagles fans and one of your buddies will jump all over him a tad early.

Your Deeeeep Sleepers. The REM, you-don’t-realize-you’re-home-is-being-invaded-in-the-middle-of-the-night sleepers:

Matthew Stafford - 131.4 - Stafford may be the guy you draft as a backup QB, but end up wanting to start every week. The Lions defense is buttcheeks, so the offense will be forced to play from behind and throw a lot. He has the weapons to put up nice numbers with Calvin Johnson, Pettigrew, and Jahvid Best. And don’t forget - Stafford had a few great fantasy games as a rookie before getting injured.

Jacoby Jones - 145.8 - Kevin Walter is standing in his way of being a starter on a prolific offense. I really shouldn't have to explain to you how Jones is exponentially more athletic than Walter.

Lance Moore - 170.00 + - He was hurt last year, but the year before he had 79 catches for 928 yards and 10 TDs. As long as Brees is QBing that team, he's EASILY worth a pick in the last rounds of your draft.

Don’t Draft These People. They will kill your team and make Sunday’s un-enjoyable for you:

Hines Ward - 59.2 - There is no way in hell Ward duplicates last season. Or even really comes close to it. With Roethlisberger busy assaulting women for the first month of the season, the Steelers are going to 1.) run a ton and 2.) be forced to use Charlie Batch, Byron Leftwich, or Dennis Dixon. Neither is good for fantasy value. Ward is in his mid 30’s now and just isn’t worth a pick in the 5th round where he's currently going.

TJ Houshmandzadeh – 88.5 - You'll regret this. It's not 2007 and Matt Hasselbeck blows. Remember that.

Darren McFadden – 92.0 - Darren McFadden is a piece of shit. I know from experience. This guy has done a spectacular job of screwing me over in the past and I won't stand for it anymore. He will get hurt. He will frustrate you. You will finally cut him in week 12 and wonder why you're 5-6.

Bonus Sleepers! Because why the hell not?

Chris Cooley - 97.8 - McNabb has no problem dumping off to his tight end and Cooley is going to be a solid starting TE that you can get later in the draft.

Mike Wallace - 80.1 - No more Santonio Holmes. Wallace is the most talented receiver on the roster. Big Ben seemed to give him quite a few looks last year so stash him till Ben’s suspension is donezo.

Malcom Floyd – 134.2 - Vincent Jackson is still holding out. Even when he comes back, he still has to serve a 3 game suspension. The #2 receiver on the Chargers depth chart right now is some guy with the last name ‘Naanee’. So yeah, draft Floyd.

Trying to decide? Go with this guy over that guy:

Ryan Grant over Shonn Greene - Weird feeling I have. Don't have a real reason to give you, but just know I'm smarter than you. Although Shonn Greene is nasty in Madden which naturally makes me want to draft him, he’s not a good receiver and won’t really see the field in those situations.

Calvin Johnson over Reggie Wayne  - Don't get me wrong, Reggie Wayne will have a good year, but his production will begin to slowly taper at some point. Calvin Johnson has tremendous upside if he stays healthy. I'm fully expecting Calvin to out-produce Wayne this year.

Tony Romo/Phillip Rivers over Peyton Manning/Tom Brady  – Personally, I’m waiting an extra round to get one of the latter two guys than going with Manning or Brady in the second round. The total point difference between these four guys is going to be minimal.

Jamaal Charles over Rashard Mendenhall – I’m pretty high on Charles this year. He’s one of the most explosive backs in the league. Like top 5 explosive. Thomas Jones should be of no concern to you. Jones is old and won’t be very effective behind the Chiefs O-line. If you’re in a PPR, Charles should rocket up your personal rankings. Mendenhall should have a decent year when all said and done, but I don’t expect a ton of TD’s. He may have a rough start to the year with Ben out considering all 11 guys on defense will be keying in on him.

There you have it.  We've now given you a blueprint for a winning squad - and it didn't cost you an overpriced $9 magazine!  Gool luck on draft day, fella.  Don't fuck it up.