Our First Round Draft Pick Is Old

Apparently the guy is extremely versatile (Kiper says he could play OT, OG or C). He played hockey, played rugby, fought fire, etc. Seems like a pretty cool dude, I just hope the damn kid can block cause Winston Justice sure can't. Oh, and he's 26 already, which I'm not quite sure is a good thing or bad thing. Overall though, I'm just be happy they didn't trade the pick.

From Scott Wright's Draft Countdown:

Strengths:
• Athletic with terrific quickness and agility
• Nimble feet w/ nice balance and body control
• Outstanding natural strength and power
• Shows the ability to recover when beat
• Will get some movement in the run game
• Understands positioning and angles
• Can get to second level and work in space
• Extremely competitive with a great motor
• Tough and plays with a nasty demeanor
• Still has a ton of unfulfilled potential

Weaknesses:
• A bit older than the normal prospect
• Just average size with short arms
• Frame appears close to being maxed out
• Is not real stout at the point of attack
• Does not have a lot of playing experience
• Raw technique, footwork and hand use
• Will probably have to change positions

Alleluia! Thank You Racist America!

Well, that's one less thing we need to worry about. As we all know, Madden cover = death. Thankfully, America is rather racist, still loves dogs and can't get enough of white running backs. Now our 2011 season won't be ruined (minus the still-not-quite-fixed-very-confusing lockout situation).

On another note, Hillis is fucked. Poor Cleveland, even when something goes right for them they still ultimately lose.

A Way Too Early Look At The Eagles 2011 Record

Before I start, let's all remember that I did this last year and while I predicted the correct final record (10-6), I only got about half the games right individually. So what matters more? Where you end up or how you got there? I'm going with the former, but honestly does it matter if we don't have football next year anyway? Let's hope the owners stop being bitches and end this thing. Chad Hall needs a job.

Anyway, here's an all too premature look at exactly how the Eagles season will go next year:

Week One: at St. Louis (1 PM, FOX)

Um, the Rams? Yea, I know they were better last year and all, but let's be honest...they still suck. If the Eagles don't dominate this game right out of the shoot, we're in trouble. 1-0.

Week Two: at Atlanta (8:20 PM, NBC)

Vick returns home. Atlanta's home opener. The Eagles have owned the Falcons over the past few years, and dominated them last year in the midst of their #1 seed season (with Kolb no less). 2-0.

Week Three: N.Y. Giants (1 PM, FOX)

I feel like the Eagles never play the Giants this early. It's kinda weird to be honest, like a hand job. I mean, you know you've had it before, but it's been so long you can't remember. Anyway, until the Giants actually beat the Eagles again I refuse to believe it can happen. 3-0.

Week Four: San Francisco (1PM, FOX)

The 49ers game, which seems to happen every year, is always close. Like annoyingly so. Whatever, 3-1.

Week Five: at Buffalo (1PM, FOX)

Rumors ran wild that this game would be played in Toronto. It won't be, it will be played in Buffalo. I know some people were pissed about going to Toronto, cause Canada sucks, but Buffalo is worse. It's basically the Canada of the US. 4-1.

Week Six: at Washington (1PM, FOX)

Remember the last time they played the Redskins in Washington? Sure do. Not sure who the Redskins QB will be this year either, but I bet they suck. 5-1.

Week Seven: BYE WEEK

Week Eight: Dallas (8:20 PM, NBC)

I have a weird, sickening feeling that the Cowboys will be good again this year. Everything went wrong for them last year, and they still almost beat the Eagles twice. Andy Reid never loses after the bye though. So I'll run with the big guy here. 6-1.

Week Nine: Chicago (8:30 PM, ESPN)

Monday Night Football. Jaws. Gruden. The Bears. A loss. 6-2.

Week Ten: Arizona (1 PM, FOX)

I'm not sure what to make of the NFC West yet. They can't possibly be that bad again, but will they be good? Probably not. 7-2.

Week Eleven: N.Y. Giants (8:30 PM, NBC)

I think I've covered my thoughts on the Giants. 8-2.

Week Twelve: New England (4:15 PM, CBS)

The Patriots don't have that aura anymore, not after choking in the playoffs last year. They're beatable, they're quarterback is a terrible dancer and cries, They're defense is still a work in progress. But they'll still beat the Eagles. 8-3.

Week Thirteen: at Seattle (8:20 PM, NFL Network)

Stupid Thursday night games. Pain in my ass. As long as Marshawn Lynch doesn't go all beast mode on us, I think we'll be fine here. 9-3.

Week Fourteen: at Miami (1 PM, FOX)

Remember that awesome game in Miami 8 years ago? Brian Westbrook going all air-born and shit. Eagles won that game, this one too. 10-3

Week Fifteen: N.Y. Jets (4:15 PM, CBS)

The Eagles have finished the last few years on some sour notes. The Jets are probably a bad match-up here, being all good at defense and stuff. Plus a 3-0 sweep of NY is probably too much to ask. 10-4.

Week Sixteen: at Dallas (4:15 PM, FOX)

Odds are this game gets flexed, because I really believe it's our Birds and the Cowboys for the NFC East this year. Sadly, I think this game is a loss, I just have a bad feeling about Dallas this year. 10-5.

Week Seventeen: Washington (1PM, FOX)

It's about time they don't end with Dallas. That was getting old. Anyway, 11-5.

There you have it, 11-5. Not sure what that will be good for, either the #2 or #3 seed, or maybe a wild card if Dallas is really good (fuck the Giants). Either way, the schedule is a pretty balanced one, and there is an awesome road game (Miami) on there. I bet that stadium ends up 75% Eagles fans, easily.

Go Birds.

So Michael Vick Will Get Hurt Next Year

This isn't exactly a big surprise, but Michael Vick has made the finals of the Madden '12 cover tournament vote thing on ESPN. Normally any time an Eagles player gets some recognition nationally, I like it. Especially Vick, who whether we like it or not, is now our best player and the key to us winning anything next year. However, the last time this happened, well it wasn't exactly a good omen. I'll spare you the laundry list of shitty things that have happened to NFL players the year they graced the cover of Madden, but it was Vick in 2004 and he promptly broke his ankle. So, yea, here's to Peyton Hillis winning. (Odds Peyton Hillis wins, I draft him on my fantasy team, and he breaks both arms the next day sit currently at 1:1.)

Oh, and doesn't this kinda speak to how much people don't give a shit about the dog-killing anymore? I mean the guy is being voted by the fans to grace the cover of the most popular sports video game ever. Football > dogs, or so says America. (And don't just says it kids voting either, EVERYONE plays Madden.)

Jim Washburn To Give D Line Steroids, Continue Looking Grizzled

CSN Philly - After a federal investigation, a grand jury indicted Washburn and three other South Carolina coaches on charges of distributing steroids. Washburn eventually agreed to a plea bargain in which he was sentenced to serve three months in a halfway house and three years of probation.
“I did a stupid thing a long time ago, and I’ve paid for it ever since, and I got sentenced to prison,” Washburn said. “Let down my family. It was stupid. Stupid thing. I’ve paid for it ever since. I guess I’ll pay for it the rest of my life. I guess I’ll never take another job and not have somebody bring it up. That’s life.”
Eagles fans will love Washburn. He’s got the same brutally honest, self-deprecating, down-home, country personality as Charlie Manuel. Unfortunately, because Reid does not allow his position coaches to speak with the media, we may never hear from Washburn again.

I love every bit of this. Keep 'em quiet, Andy. I know the shit was a bazillion years ago and that now dude looks like a lemon party cock, but I really hope he introduces the Birds' D-line to some how-not-to-get-caught steroid use. Those pricks were horrible last season. I don't care if they all get depression or tiny balls or rickets or whatever -- I just wanna see drug-enraged monsters giving Eli Manning the ol' Clay Matthews/Kevin Kolb head smash. Just knock his brain back to 11 years old.

If Daniel Teo' Nesheim is 6'7" and 360 by training camp, you'll know this motherfucker is doin his job.

Larry Fitz Wants Him Some Hogkiller

Each Arizona Cardinal who attempted to pretend they were an NFL quarterback failed miserably last year. Arizona QB's threw a total of 10 TD's all year while their completion percentage barely reached 50%. So to avoid another disaster, and actually have a chance to resign Larry Fitzgerald (he's a free agent after next season), they must sign a viable QB.

Adam Schefter reported that when the Cardinals asked Larry Fitz who he wants tossing him passes next year, he responded with a ringing endorsement of Kevin Kolb.  Thank you Larry Fitzgerald.  I always knew I liked you.  Zona has the #5 overall pick in the draft and I can only pray they're foolish enough to give it up for KK.

For what it's worth, Fitz second choice was Marc Bulger. He's basically given them the option to either trade for Kolb, or sign a washed up, injury prone Marc Bulger off the street. This is why you don't ask players for input into personnel moves.

Just Keep Living The Dream Andy

With the news that Jeff Fisher has been relieved of his duties as head coach of the Titans, our own Andy Reid is now the longest tenured head coach in the NFL. Kind of hard to believe, right?

Now let me say that I'm not hating on Reid here, while I don't always agree with what he does I do recognize the success he has had. Outside of the Steelers, Patriots and Colts, nobody had won more regular season games over the past 12 years than the Eagles. I'm happy the Eagles are successful, and this past decade plus of Eagles football has been pretty awesome overall. But, you have to think this wakes Andy up, if only just a little bit. If Fisher, who has often been compared to Reid (very successful, but never winning the big one), can be fired...well god knows Andy could be fired too. So, yea, win a Super Bowl already.

Only, seriously. WIN A SUPER BOWL ALREADY. Thanks.

Fake Andy Reid Asleep at Airport, Fat

Who is this striking, sleepy man? Why does he look so much like Andy Reid? Why is he wearing Andy's famed 2001-2003 style NFC Pro Bowl 4XL Hawaiian shirt? There are so many questions I have for our flabby faux coach.

Does he like to run the ball? Are his children clear-headed model citizens? Did a woman actually allow him to put his penis inside her long enough to create children? WHAT A MYSTERIOUS WORLD THIS IS!

Video after the jump.

Let's Hope DJ Alibi Does His Labor Day Party

Wow. Good looks to Mr. Vick for missing this affair. No doubt it was planned out before his birthday party fiasco, but there was absolutely no way a sane Michael Vick was going to attend this one.

Music by Hostility? Nothing positive would have come of this.

And don't get me started on the whole Vick situation in general. If some snitch from my trial showed up uninvited to my 30th birthday party and caked my face, I would hope one of my friends would shoot his ass, too.

According to the NY Post:

Quanis Phillips, a co-defendant in Vick’s dogfighting case, flew into a rage when Vick and brother Marcus Vick told him early Friday to leave the 30th-birthday party at a Virginia Beach nightclub, witnesses said.

Before leaving, Phillips slapped a piece of birthday cake off a female partygoer’s plate, splattering the face of the Philadelphia Eagles quarterback with frosting. “Michael didn’t react. I was surprised,” a witness at the bash said.

Cake in my face = shot. I'm with ya, Mike.

And how the hell was he supposed to know exactly how long he left before the shooting? It's not like a time bomb where he knows he left exactly 12 minutes and 33 seconds before it went off. Stop being irrational, people!

Fun With Dave Spadaro

Fox News :: Republicans
Dave Spadaro :: The Eagles Organization's feathery green dick

And while I sincerely do appreciate the fact that he reports on OTA's and other shit I wouldn't otherwise have access to, he's really just the nerdy mouthpiece for an otherwise cool organization.

The images are pulled from a report on philadelphiaeagles.com about how Hank Baskett looks impressive so far this year. I guess losing the Superbowl for your team has some kind of life-altering inspirational affect...or something.

Behold my boredom and immaturity after the jump.

I'm partial to the Fire Marshall Bill one, myself.

Adam Schein, Your Mouth Feels Great

<a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/video?vid=c384b41e-b9a4-47eb-a2a2-95188fbb01d4&from=IV2_en-us_foxsports_articles" target="_new" title="Schein: Eagles not rebuilding">Video: Schein: Eagles not rebuilding</a>
As reported in yesterdays Quality Eagles OTA Coverage, Fox Sports writer Adam Schein is very high -- excuse me -- boom on the Eagles' chances in 2010. Check out this video of Adam with Kevin Kolb and Howie Roseman's bologna ponies in his mouth. Adam SCHEIN also seems to eat up a lot of what Howie ROSEMAN had to say. Hmmm....(I kid I kid). But really though, there's no excuse for a national writer to be this much on our side. I know I believe all of this, but I'm a homer who still drinks the Kool-Aid.  Adam's either playing a game of journalistic Devil's Advocate to get more clicks, or incredibly stupid to agree with us overly optimistic Eagle fans.

Fuck it....he's totally right. Even if he does look like Zach Braff with a Home Improvement haircut.

Quality Eagles OTA Coverage

Oh...but not from us. Matt Mosley, ESPN's NFC East blogger and frequent Big D slurper, went to Eagles OTA's today and actually had some very detailed and insightful observations about the 2010 team. How he managed to do this in between writing 7 posts concerning the Cowboys' kickers, I'll never know.







The Summation:

• Howie Roseman has the Cowboys' depth chart posted in his office. It's so he can motivate himself to...negotiate better and look more important?
• Nate Allen is bigger than you think.  Roseman: "We didn't take a guy at No. 37 to be on the sideline."
• Cornelius Ingram looks big and fast. Might not be able to catch, though.
• Riley Cooper and Hank Baskett both look impressive.  Not nearly as impressive as second-year man-God Jeremy Maclin, who put on more muscle and looks to take a leap this year.
• Nobody gives a shit that DeSean skipped this OTA.
• It's always sunny in Philadelphia.
• Kolb looks sharp.  And although there are some throws that Soupy Johnston could make that KK can't, he shows great touch and hits players in stride.  I was also right to edit Jason Avant in Madden and give him a 95 Catching rating.
• Rookie RB Charles Scott is not good.
• Moise Fokou is trying to hold onto his spot as the startring SAM linebacker.  Seventh-round LB Jamar Chaney is a guy Roseman felt he stole at that point in the draft and, so far he looks promising.
• The birds gave Brandon Graham a highlight mixtape of other short DEs like Elvis Dumervil.  Blah blah blah.
• Starting corners Asante Samuel and Ellis Hobbs sat out with minor injuries (sidebar: the possibility of Joselio Hanson and Dimitri Patterson starting at CB at any point in the season scares the skittles out of me).  Macho Harris continues work at corner -- his natural position.  Quintin Demps learned to shut the fuck up this year so maybe the coaches will give him some playing time. 
• McNabb wasn't there...it felt weird to Matt.  But Kolb "doesn't seem fazed by all the hoopla" and "has a swagger to him that suggests he's ready for this challenge."

Sounds pretty good to me, especially coming from a Dallas deepthroater like Mosley.

Also of note was (part of) a column by Adam Schein where he is "boom" -- terrible -- on the Eagles this season and thinks they will make the playoffs and contend for the division.

Now I could sit here and hand you some feigned sense of humbleness about these articles, but in a sick way I sincerely enjoy that national sports writers believe in our team.  It can't be healthy that I gather enjoyment from the positive opinions of dudes that have absolutely nothing to do with the outcome of anything, but fuck it.  Go birds. Zipp Duncan.

Zombie Eagles 2010?

The Washington Redskins have made an offer to former Eagles runningback/concussion enthusiast Brian Westbrook today, which could be the first step towards two Eagles vs. Zombie Eagles matchups in 2010.

If he accepts (which he may be forced to do after interest from Denver and St. Louis has cooled) BWest will join Donovan McNabb and Brian Dawkins in the Man-I-thought-I-would-retire-an-Eagle club. He would also join a crowded Redskin backfield filled with former Pro Bowlers Clinton Portis, Larry Johnson, and Willie Parker. Mike Shanahan is offering this contract for one of three reasons:

A - He wants to create a sense of competition and urgency amongst his large stable of old, complacent RBs
B - McNabb has already thrown his weight around and forced his hand
C - He's an idiot masochist who enjoys watching head injuries and two-yard runs

Time will tell.