Sixers Will Make The Finals. Fact.

Trust me on this one, the ESPN NBA Playoff Predictor never lies. Sixers = Eastern Conference Champions. Especially when it only take 87 tries to make this happen. Like I've always said, 87th try is the charm.

PS - By the way, in this predictor the Grizzlies seem to beat the Lakers like 50% of the time. ESPN must know something we don't know.

PPS - Don't ask me what happens in the Finals simulation. There's a reason I'm not showing a picture of that.

PPPS - I highly recommend not wasting a half hour of your life doing this. Not exactly the most rewarding way to spend your time. Or. Is. It?

PPPPS - Cliff Lee.

Steelers Win, Big Ben Gets Raped

Good to see Big Ben on the receiving end for once.

Some Videos to Make You Smile

We're all pretty depressed today, but I figured I'd throw up some videos in an attempt to get some of you to smile.

Remember, the 2010 Eagles season was pretty good, for most of it anyway.











Go Birds.

The Worst Game Preview Video in the Internets

Seriously, what the hell was the purpose of making this video? You are aware that there are TV channels with analysis and experts that break down every little detail of each game, right? This is the video equivalent of spraypainting a 10 on a Hanes V-neck and calling it a DeSean Jackson jersey.

I thought 13 year-olds were supposed to be good with technology. How you fooled me and 300+ other people into watching this is beyond me. Kill yourself.

The NFL Playoffs Needs The Berney Dance

Decent: The Berney Dance (White People Love It!) - This joint has the potential to be bigger than Soulja Boy’s “Crank That” movement, but only time will tell on that one (it may take a while).
“Movin’ Like Berney” is killing the game right now as white people around the country have been forced to finally embrace that urban swag, with a dance that they can not only do…but do better than black people.

Sure, Ryan Matthews did a wack-ass version of the worldwide dance craze occasionally-referenced internet dance two weeks ago, but fuck him cause he's part of the disaster that was my fantasy team.  I want to see some real Berney out of someone this wildcard weekend.  DeSean -- you're the obvious choice.  The Dougie is more dead than your dead motha.   Berney your dick off all over Green Bay's hopes and dreams.  Plus it'll confuse the shit outta their cheesewhale fanbase.

Footage of people Movin like Berney* after the jump.

h/t JerseyChaser














*Misspelled to protect against copyright...right?

Tim Cowlishaw's Impeccable Description of Last Night's Game

Couldn't summarize Sunday's game any better. The JV Eagles aka the Chad Hall Show aka DeMarcus Ware's Prison Bitch lost by a point to the Stephen McGee-led Cowboys, 14-13. In other news: nobody gives a shit. The regular season is dead and the Birds need to figure out a way to keep Concussion Time from ruining their playoffs.

[Pulls inflated Butterscotch Krimpet Tastykake bag from microwave]

FUCK! HOT! TWENTY SECONDS WAS TOO LONG!!

Happy New Year, Michael Vick

How 'bout we win a Super Bowl, ok?

Go Birds.

The Regular Season is Dead to Me

Okay, so the Birds lost to the Joe Webb Vikings. Whatever. The Eagles are the #3 seed in the NFC regardless of what happens in week 17 and it's looking like they'll face the Green Bay Packers on January 9 in Philly for the first round of the playoffs. Not as ideal as a first round bye, but playoffs is playoffs and the cream always rises to the top.  Unless you're the 14-point dog Vikings playing an away game in Philly with zero playoff chances quarterbacked by a run-first rookie.  Dammit, I told myself I'd let it go....

So the Packers it is (probably).  As our friends over at Bleeding Green Nation pointed out yesterday, there are some silver linings here.  While our favorite hog slaughterer will sling passes to Riley Cooper and Chad Hall in a meaningless JV game against the Cowboys on Sunday, the starters' minds will be on the Packers.  The same Green Bay team that survived the first unleashing of the Michael Vick Experience in week 1. No easy task.

You know most of the talk will be about Aaron Rodgers and his poise and his arm and his concussions, but at some point it becomes pointless. The Eagles have a wack-ass defense. They're 22nd in points allowed and give up more red zone scores than a horny chick on her period.  The Packers are going to score. A lot. The key to this game will be how many cheap turnovers the Birds D can generate, and, more importantly, if the offense can actually play consistently good football.

No 4th quarter comebacks. No bullshit. I'm talking 4 straight quarters of DeSean Jackson out patterns, Jeremy Maclin crossing patterns, Shady McCoy screens, and Mike Vick fuck-this-play scrambles for 30 yards.  If they can do that, they'll win.

Fuck the Cowboys.

So Game 7 Isn't Tonight?

As if we needed another name to add to Philadelphia hate-lore, Juan Uribe threw his name onto that list last night. Uribe's eighth inning, two-out, solo home run served as the difference in what was a weird, sad, unfortunate end to the Phillies season. Three straight World Series appearances just wasn't in the cards and it appears we'll need to put those Game 7 tailgate supplies away (or at least I will). Pure suck.

The Phillies had more than enough opportunities to score runs after their two in the first inning but nobody was able to come up with a season saving hit. Victorino, Utley, Howard, Werth...they all failed in big spots last night. It certainly wasn't something we were used to seeing the last two postseasons but it was something that happened plenty this year. Of course, that's a discussion for another time (and another post).

So, while there will be plenty of time to wrap up, dissect and eulogize the Phillies' 2010 season (there will be much more once I stop crying) it's now time to grieve. This Phillies team had the ability to accomplish something special and they weren't able to. That hurts, a whole bunch. I already miss baseball.

See you in the spring, Phils.

[photo c/o Tim Shaffer/Reuters]

Let's Go Joe

In the biggest game of the season so far, the Phillies are going to start Joe Blanton. Take a second and read that sentence again. Yep, Heavy B is going to take the mound tomorrow, whether we like it or not.

Faced with a 2-1 hole, Charlie will stick with his original plan instead of moving Halladay up a day to start on short rest. It's obvious that Charlie just feels more comfortable with his guys going on normal rest, and you can't really fault him for that. Although he may change his mind in the morning, it appears the earliest we'll be seeing Doc is Thursday night.

I honestly have to admit I'm a little surprised. A lot was made last year of the Phillies not wanting to pitch Cliff Lee on short rest (which the Rangers refused to do this year as well). When the Phillies basically "swapped" Lee for Halladay in the offseason many people looked at Halladay's ability to pitch on short rest as one reason the upgrade made sense. In six career starts on short rest, Halladay has gone 4-2 with a 2.79 ERA. While that's a small sample size, it certainly looks like Halladay can handle it. Plus, you have to think Halladay would be pumped up by the idea, since he's so close to the World Series title he craves so badly. It doesn't appear he'll get that chance.

However, Halladay's ability to pitch on short rest isn't really the thing I'm concentrating on the most. It's the fact that Joe Blanton hasn't pitched in a meaningful game since October 3rd. That was a one inning appearance against the Braves on the last day of the season. His last start was even longer ago, back on September 29th. That's a long layoff, especially for someone now tasked with saving the Phillies season (although the bats could score some runs and help that out too). Heavy B is certainly going to have to be at his best.

Ultimately this decision will be judged by what happens in the game tomorrow. If the Phillies win, suddenly they have taken back home field and have Halladay ready for Game 5. If they lose, they are going to need H20 to win three straight games (which, while incredibly difficult, is something those three could certainly pull off). Charlie Manuel has pretty much pulled all the right strings the past few years, I just hope this move pays off as well. If not...well let's just not think about that right now.

Go Phils.

Your NLCS Postcard

An absolutely perfect depiction of the Phillies starting pitching rotation from The Fightins (via The Daily News). With a Big 3 of Halladay, Hamels, and Oswalt, the Phils won't need to expect too much from sleepy Joe "I-don't-have-to-do-shit-anymore" Blanton.

Blanton better be careful, napping like that may cause some of the truffles stored in his cheeks to dislodge. H2O may or may not know CPR.

The Wrinkled, Leathery Reason Phillies Will Win World Series

You didn't think the Phillies were just going to get by on ridiculously nasty pitching and veteran hitting did you? Oh no kind sir, you are sadly mistaken. Those two luxuries are nothing when compared to the power of an old fashioned good luck charm.

Ed Barkowitz of the Daily News has an article on Philly.com regarding Ryan Madson's purchase of the Halloween mask you see in the pic above. And yes, that's him wearing it in the picture at a recent media session. Who needs rally monkeys or cowbells when you have a funny mask?

The article goes on to say the mask has become rather popular in the clubhouse and has become somewhat of a good luck charm. As Madson says, his favorite places to wear the mask are in the in the shower and in hot tub. Yep -- not making that up. My favorite line comes from Chad Durbin as he describes the mask: "It's Miguel Cairo." Oh Chad, you couldn't be any more spot on. LOOK AT THIS.

Anyway, our Phillies have advanced to a third straight NLCS and will have six days off before digging in against the Giants or Braves. To be honest, as a Philadelphia sports fan, it feels a little weird being a fan of the undisputed favorite. It's kind of a surreal feeling...and also one of the most awesome feelings a sports fan can have. Here's to 3 straight NL pennants.

FEAR THE MASK. GO PHILS.

[pic via Associated Press]

NLDS Preview: Phillies vs. Reds

I know what you’re thinking: “I’ve read about 37 preview articles already about this series, what the hell could you possibly tell me that I don’t already know?”

The answer: Stop complaining and read a 38th.

Anyway, our Phillies get underway at 5:07 p.m. Wednesday against the Cincinnati Reds. Yes, those same Reds that the Phils swept in a four game set right before the All-Star break. With a 5-2 record against them this year, the Phillies have certainly shown they can beat this team. Plus, the Reds were only 18-34 against winning teams this year, a record that is underwhelming to say the least. However, the Reds are probably a better team than anyone realizes, so I’m here to give you a quick rundown of everything you should know before you sit down, or stand up to watch the game on Wednesday.

Meet the Reds:

The Reds finished with 91 wins this year, their most since winning 96 in 1999 (a season where they tied the Mets for the Wild Card and promptly lost a one game playoff). This year was their first winning season in 10 years and only their third division title since 1982. Suffice it to say, they haven’t had a ton of success recently, but they are (mostly) a young team that one might consider “to be on the rise.”

Much like the Phillies, they’ve done a very good job of building from within with youth, both acquired via draft, internationally or trades. Their best player, Joey Votto (the likely NL MVP), was a second round draft pick in 2002 out of high school. Jay Bruce and Drew Stubbs (their starting RF and CF) were both first round picks in 2005 and 2006, respectively. Brandon Phillips (starting 2B), while not drafted by the Reds, didn’t fully blossom as a player until after they acquired him via trade from the Indians in 2006 at age 24. Their pitching staff is full of home grown talent, as Johnny Cueto (signed as an international free agent), Travis Wood (drafted) and Mike Leake (drafted) are all home grown talents. Game 1 starter Edison Volquez was acquired via trade from the Rangers prior to the 2008 season and broke out during that same season (as did the player he was traded for, Josh Hamilton). And I’m sure you’ve heard of the Reds set-up man, Aroldis Chapman (international free agent). He can throw 105 MPH. Only seriously.

It’s obvious the Reds have done an excellent job of acquiring talent, and have built a youthful base good enough to propel them into contention. Sprinkle in some key veterans like Scott Rolen, Bronson Arroyo, Francisco Cordero, Orlando Cabrera and Arthur Rhodes and suddenly the Reds had a pretty formidable roster heading into 2010. Unlike prior years though, this mix of young talent and veterans clicked…and thus you have the 91 win team you see today.

The Pitching Matchups:

Game 1: RHP Roy Halladay (21-10, 2.44 ERA) vs. RHP Edison Volquez (4-3, 4.31 ERA)

I really don’t need to break this one down for you, but I will anyway. Roy Halladay is the best pitcher in baseball and will start the first playoff game of his career. Edison Volquez is about 15 months removed from Tommy John surgery and has been up and down since returning to the rotation in July. He’s nasty when he’s on, and he’s pitched very well in September. Still, Halladay is the best there is.

Game 2: RHP Roy Oswalt (13-13, 2.76 ERA) vs. Bronson Arroyo (17-10, 3.88 ERA)

Oswalt has been absolutely amazing since joining the Phillies, going 7-1 with a barely there 1.74 ERA. When the Phillies acquired Roy 2.0 I figured they were getting a very good pitcher. I didn’t know that they were going to get Roy Oswalt Circa 2005. It’s quite obvious that being in a pennant race energized Oswalt and that he’s still the same dominate #1-type pitcher he was with the Astros for the better part of the last decade. That begin said, Arroyo isn’t a slouch, and he’s actually the only Reds player who currently owns a World Series ring (from his 2004 Red Sox days). He doesn’t strike anyone out, but he does a good job of limiting base runners (which helps since he’s relatively homer prone at 1.2 per 9 innings). Still, he hasn’t had much career success against the Phillies, while Oswalt has pretty much owned the Reds (23-3 lifetime record).

Game 3: LHP Cole Hamels (12-11, 3.06 ERA) vs. Johnny Cueto (12-7, 3.64 ERA)

I still marvel at how good our rotation looks on paper. I know shit could hit the fan, but I’ve never been more confident in three starters in my 17 years of watching Phillies games. Hamels is officially the Phillies #3 starter and he’ll come into this game with a career 1.07 ERA in seven career starts against the Reds. That’s pretty sick. The scary thing for the opposition is that Hamels has actually been better this year than he was in 2008, and if he carries that over into the postseason, oh boy. Cueto is a good, young pitcher, but is absolutely prone to blowing up. Just a few starts ago he gave up 8 ER to the Brewers in just 1 1/3 innings and he’s the same pitcher who gave up 9 ER to the Phillies in just .2 innings last July. He isn’t consistent, but has shut down the Phillies in his two starts against them this year. This is probably the closest matchup for the Reds, but it’s still not that close.

The Lineups:

The Phillies finished second in the NL with 772 runs. Who scored the most? The Reds, at 790. One thing is for certain - the Reds can score, and score a lot. They lead the NL in every major statistical category this year, including HR (188), total bases (2432) and OPS (.774). They feature slugging All-Star first baseman Joey Votto, who hit 37 HRs, while batting .324. If there is a lineup that matches up with our Phillies, it’s theirs. Jay Bruce, Drew Stubbs and Scott Rolen all hit 22+ HRs this year, and with 90 SB on the year they have enough speed that you need to respect them on the base paths. It’s a good thing we have the rotation we do, that’s for sure.

I’d discuss the Phillies lineup, but honestly there is only one thing you need to know. We have Carlos Ruiz (banged up elbow and all) and it’s October. You know what that means.

So, while I expect a good series, I’m confident the Phils can take it. The Reds won’t be easy (just like the Rockies weren’t last year) but I think our starting pitching will ultimately win out. Go Phils.

And the rest of the first round? Giants in 4, Rangers in 5, Yankees in 3. Book it.

Flyers Take Game 3

Claude Giroux scored 5:59 into overtime and Philadelphia finally exhaled. The Flyers are back in the series.

After an incredible back and forth game, I really had no idea what to expect going into overtime. These teams have played pretty even hockey for most of this series (one could argue the Flyers have been the better team overall) so either team could have left last night with the win.

Thankfully, it was the Flyers cutting the series lead in half, 2-1. Giroux has been spectacular in these playoffs, with 20 points now in 20 games. If this isn't his coming out party, I don't know what is. I think it's safe to say that regardless of the outcome of this series, Giroux has taken the role as the best winger on this team, a role he's likely to hold for the forseeable future (the kid is only 22).

Also, I can't say enough about the job that Pronger has done with the Blackhawks top line. Kane and Toews had dominated the playoffs up until now, but Pronger (and Matt Carle) has worked hard to keep them from controlling this series. If the Flyers defense can continue to stifle those two, they've got more than a fair chance in this series. The Blackhawks may be more skilled, but the Flyers seem to play tougher and they are winning most of the one-on-one battles. I don't know much about hockey but I know enough to see this Flyers team is special. They've played their best so far this year with their backs against the wall. I don't see why that would change now.

It's an obvious statement to say the Flyers have to win again on Friday night. Winning on Friday would not only even the series, it would give the Flyers all of the momentum as they return to Chicago. Here's to a Game Four victory. Go Flyers!

2-0. Series Lead. Nice.

There is no way around it...the Flyers are the hottest team on the planet. Pick a sport, any sport, it doesn't matter. There isn't a team anywhere playing better than these guys. Maybe there is a girls high school softball team somewhere in Iowa playing better, but who the fuck cares about them?

Right now, Philadelphia is in a frenzy as the Flyers sit just two wins away from their first Stanley Cup Finals appearance in 13 years. Yet again, Michael Leighton and the Flyers defense allowed the Canadiens to score the same amount of goals as this girl has boyfriends. That amount, in case you don't know, is zero. The Flyers have absolutely silenced a Canadien team that came in playing with a ton of confidence. With Gagne and Briere both scoring at will (or so it seems) this team just looks good. I mean, they've scored 13 consecutive goals without allowing any. That's just silly.

To put it simply, things are very good in Flyer land right now. Hopefully, in 48 hours, we're discussing a 3-0 series lead.

Go Flyers.