Project 31: My Virtue, My Focus

 

Today is day 9 and I am asked:

What virtues do you value in yourself?

....

As I took a moment to think about this question,

I found myself feeling a little insecure. I was tempted to not post for this day. Why?

Because the post is all about liking...me.

Yesterday was about me. Days 2, 4, 6 and 8 were all about me, and now I have to write about me again?

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it.

Isn't talking about myself this frequently a little

narcissistic and boring?

I have those people in my life that have no problem talking about themselves, but they are interesting.

I'm...just...me. 

It is easy for me to talk about things that I find inspirational! To share the things that God has placed into my heart. To share the blessings that I have in my life. It is easy to write about my children, my husband, and projects that I am working on at the house.

But to post about what I like about myself?!

That is insanity, scary, hard! 

In fact, I skipped Day 6 because the world's definition of beauty has jaded me and I sometimes don't feel good enough. 

It is easier not to talk about the wrong, and so, I did what I always (well almost) always do. I eliminated the negative, the hard stuff, and I focused on the positive.

And I realized, THAT is what I like about me.

I like that I focus on the good stuff. I like that even when I have problems with family, finances, children, and health, I focus on what is positive.

I am not saying that I do not have sad moments. I am not saying that I do not try to "fix" certain issues, but no matter what happens, I always move on, I always get over it, and I always forgive.

I know that this life has too much happiness available to focus on the hurts. 

Everything that I had gone through in my previous marriage is the past. Occasionally something will come up and I am like oh my goodness, I dealt with that! But ya know what? I forgot all about it, because I chose to let it go and forgive. 

The things that come up in my current marriage can be difficult some days. I could blog about all the issues that arise with blended families and all of the outside factors that affect us, and friends, sometimes I am tempted to, but I don't! I just pray about it, look at things from another's perspective and focus on the good.

Sometimes, I get to a point where I feel like I have done all I can do, and I say, "I'm done, that's all. No more."

BUT

In my heart, I know I am not.  

I am full of compassion, empathy and forgiveness. I care too much to quit.

It is my strength and my weakness. I know it is. According to my hubby, it means I sometimes allow people to walk all over me. It means that sometimes, I excuse poor behavior from others. It means that sometimes I spoil our children.

I have thought about this many times and I have come to a conclusion,  

I would rather be giving away too much love and forgiveness, than not enough.

I focus on the good stuff.

That is what I value about me.

 

 

P.S. Only 2 more days until my giveaway,  Click Here

unFOCUSED

We have all heard the term, fake it until you make it.

Well what happens if you have faked it for so long and suddenly, you cannot take it, any longer.

What happens when you have turned your cheek so many times that you made a full circle and now you are back where you started.

Face to face, head on with someone who is focused on all the wrong things. 

Whose focus is unhealthy and even hurtful at times.

A person, who does not slow down to listen and truly love.

But keeps racing to a nonexistent finish line.

You want to say, this is not a race.

This is not a competition.

You smile at the people that will not be there for you.

You hold on to anger with the ones that will.

You keep a scorecard.

Yet, you are the only one in the race.  

Keep running.

Race to your make believe finish line, but when you get there can’t you see that you will be alone?

Are hundreds cheering for you on the sidelines better than the dozen that would have run alongside you, loving you?

However, you say nothing and so they go on.

They keep running ahead, trying to finish first.

You want to say, it is okay to stop and start over.

You can have a life with possibility and promise.

Yet, you focus on circumstance and opposition.

When you fake the enthusiasm and rehearse your words, do you know who you are fooling?

Only yourself.

God sees our hearts and he knows.

In fact, everyone sees, but no one says a thing.

You do not want the truth.

You want to hear the cheers on the sidelines.

You want people to scream your name as you look for the finish line.

But friend, I tell you that those cheers are from people who say only what you want to hear and not what you need to hear.

Real relationships are not like that.

Real friends love you enough to "keep it real" and honest.

It is ironic.

You think you are protecting yourself, but really, you are doing quite the opposite.

You are holding yourself back from living in the now.

You can see what is going on around you, but you cannot enjoy it, because you are stuck.

You are focused on winning and not on living.

You are focused on the race and not on His grace.

You are focused on anger and not on love.

On the outside it appears that you run with your arms open, but I know that you hold it all in, trying to shield your heart.

Much like a bird that keeps flying into the patio door.

You are so determined to get there first, that you forget to look around.

You are stuck with a great big obstacle in the way.

Will you ever look up?

I wonder when you get to the end of the road will God be standing there saying, “What happened?

Did you forget to read the signs along the way?

While you were racing, you missed the blessings I sent to you.

While you were running you stepped on the people that would have given you their hand if you fell, their drink if you were thirsty and carried you if you could no longer go on.

If you had taken the time to read the words that I placed before you, you would have seen that somewhere along the way you took a wrong turn.

If you turn around and go back, I am sure they will be there waiting for you.

It's okay to start over.

It's okay to change.

It's okay to be unFOCUSED.