Choosing Love and Forgiveness

A few nights ago, I was pretty tired and grumpy with my husband just before bed.

I knew the grumpy words exchanged before we went to sleep were my fault, so when I woke up in the middle of the night I left a sappy note on his sink. 

 It led to his usual kiss on the forehead before he left for work.

 

Then, later that morning I text him.

ME:   Truth - Sorry, I took my mood out on you. Have a good day.

HIM:  Dare - I dare to love you through every annoying time and fantastic time. Hehe, love you!!!

  ME:  LOL! I Double Dare you baybay!

...from there we sent a few jokes back and forth and it ended with...

 

HIM: LOL! I love you!!!!

   

Funny isn’t it? 

How silly little things, like being tired can affect our mood with each other and how we have the option to let those little things turn into BIG things or to swallow our pride and resolve the issues immediately.

When it comes to our relationships, we can choose pride, stubbornness and anger, or we can choose love.

It takes something as simple as one person choosing to apologize and acknowledge when they are at fault, and the other person choosing to forgive, instead of holding onto a grudge.

Truth: My marriage is not a perfect marriage, but because of the lack of stubbornness, the willingness to apologize, the ability to be silly with each other, it sometimes feels like we are close!

It is flawed, but it is also forgiving.

 
It is fallible, but it is also uplifting.

  

Our Father gives us the knowledge we need and the ability to do the right thing when it comes to making choices that will foster healthy, happy relationships.

  Our relationships will never be perfect, because as people we are not perfect.

However, our relationships can be filled with so much happiness and love.

When we work towards learning to love each other as the Lord desires us to, it becomes a habit to focus on the positive qualities of others and to cover their flaws with acceptance!

Christ has taught us to keep forgiveness in our heart at all costs.

We were made to love each other.

It’s an expectation that may not always be easy as easy as we'd like, but how fortunate we are to have the opportunity to love and be loved. 

Project 31 ~ What Jesus has taught me...

Day 10: What has Jesus taught you as a wife, mom or friend?

Jesus has taught me many things.

Christ embodies love, sacrifice, kindness, humility, surrender, compassion and so many inspiring traits, but the one thing that Jesus has taught me more than any other is forgiveness.

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Forgiveness is freedom!

We forgive people for their actions. We forgive life for throwing curveballs our way. We forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We forgive God when we have moments that make us question our circumstances.

Choosing to forgive has made me a better wife. It makes my marriage fun and carefree. It means that even when we disagree, we can quickly get over it.

I love my husband too much to remain angry.

Choosing to forgive has also made me a better mom. Even though I am no longer with my ex husband, my daughter sees that we get along. As she matures, she will know that we loved her enough to forgive each other for the past. Too many children suffer because of divorce. The parents choose to stay angry, the kids know all of the details of the divorce, they are thrown in the middle of arguments and the children end up having issues of their own.

I love my daughter too much to remain angry.

Choosing to forgive has also made me a better person. Life gets complicated. I have made many mistakes in this life, but I forgive myself. I have given myself a chance to start over and I encourage others to do the same.

I love myself too much to remain angry.  

Do not choose to be bitter, choose to be better.

We become bitter because we hold onto our hurts, but everyone has hurts. 

Choose Forgiveness.

Forgiveness makes us stronger. There is a misconception that forgiveness makes us weak. That when we forgive we are giving in to another person that tried to hurt us or a hardship that tried to bring us down. People believe that if we stay angry we are tough, but anger does not make us tough. Anger makes us unhappy and unhappiness makes us weak, and let us be honest, angry people are no fun to be around.

I have not seen an episode of Doctor Phil in forever, but yesterday, the show looked intense and so I kept it on. At the end of the show, Dr. Phil said these words,

"You don't forgive the people that deserve it. You forgive the people that YOU deserve to be free of. You deserve to forgive them. It does not mean that what they did was okay or that he/she deserves your forgiveness, it means that you refuse to invest your life and energy on them! Tell yourself this situation needs a hero and it's going to be me."

It was such a powerful ending.

He is telling us to set ourselves free. Forgive, not for them. Forgive for us.

The easy thing to do, the weak thing to do, is to stay angry. Anger, hate, bitterness...those are easy emotions. Forgiving and loving those who have sinned against us is hard work, but it is possible.

To do this we have to remove our pride, but who needs pride anyway?

We don't need to be proud, we need to be humble, we need to be grateful.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. (Proverbs 11:2)

We need to realize that everything we have and everything that we accomplish is because of God.

Every good and perfect gift is from above. (James 1:17)

Christ loves us and He wants us to let go of our hurts.

He wants us to forgive.

He will give us the strength to do so.

Jesus helped me to let go of my hurts and to forgive.

If you have not done so already, I challenge you to let go of yours!

Do not focus on all of the ways that she/he hurt you.

Do not hold on to the fact that not all of your prayers have been answered.

Don't hold on to all of the illnesses that have affected your family.

Don't focus on the losses you have suffered.

Just let go and let God.

It really is empowering...

Allow yourself to forgive.

Allow yourself to let go.

Allow yourself to be free.

Allow Christ to work miracles in your life.

unFOCUSED

We have all heard the term, fake it until you make it.

Well what happens if you have faked it for so long and suddenly, you cannot take it, any longer.

What happens when you have turned your cheek so many times that you made a full circle and now you are back where you started.

Face to face, head on with someone who is focused on all the wrong things. 

Whose focus is unhealthy and even hurtful at times.

A person, who does not slow down to listen and truly love.

But keeps racing to a nonexistent finish line.

You want to say, this is not a race.

This is not a competition.

You smile at the people that will not be there for you.

You hold on to anger with the ones that will.

You keep a scorecard.

Yet, you are the only one in the race.  

Keep running.

Race to your make believe finish line, but when you get there can’t you see that you will be alone?

Are hundreds cheering for you on the sidelines better than the dozen that would have run alongside you, loving you?

However, you say nothing and so they go on.

They keep running ahead, trying to finish first.

You want to say, it is okay to stop and start over.

You can have a life with possibility and promise.

Yet, you focus on circumstance and opposition.

When you fake the enthusiasm and rehearse your words, do you know who you are fooling?

Only yourself.

God sees our hearts and he knows.

In fact, everyone sees, but no one says a thing.

You do not want the truth.

You want to hear the cheers on the sidelines.

You want people to scream your name as you look for the finish line.

But friend, I tell you that those cheers are from people who say only what you want to hear and not what you need to hear.

Real relationships are not like that.

Real friends love you enough to "keep it real" and honest.

It is ironic.

You think you are protecting yourself, but really, you are doing quite the opposite.

You are holding yourself back from living in the now.

You can see what is going on around you, but you cannot enjoy it, because you are stuck.

You are focused on winning and not on living.

You are focused on the race and not on His grace.

You are focused on anger and not on love.

On the outside it appears that you run with your arms open, but I know that you hold it all in, trying to shield your heart.

Much like a bird that keeps flying into the patio door.

You are so determined to get there first, that you forget to look around.

You are stuck with a great big obstacle in the way.

Will you ever look up?

I wonder when you get to the end of the road will God be standing there saying, “What happened?

Did you forget to read the signs along the way?

While you were racing, you missed the blessings I sent to you.

While you were running you stepped on the people that would have given you their hand if you fell, their drink if you were thirsty and carried you if you could no longer go on.

If you had taken the time to read the words that I placed before you, you would have seen that somewhere along the way you took a wrong turn.

If you turn around and go back, I am sure they will be there waiting for you.

It's okay to start over.

It's okay to change.

It's okay to be unFOCUSED.