Just Keep Living The Dream Andy

With the news that Jeff Fisher has been relieved of his duties as head coach of the Titans, our own Andy Reid is now the longest tenured head coach in the NFL. Kind of hard to believe, right?

Now let me say that I'm not hating on Reid here, while I don't always agree with what he does I do recognize the success he has had. Outside of the Steelers, Patriots and Colts, nobody had won more regular season games over the past 12 years than the Eagles. I'm happy the Eagles are successful, and this past decade plus of Eagles football has been pretty awesome overall. But, you have to think this wakes Andy up, if only just a little bit. If Fisher, who has often been compared to Reid (very successful, but never winning the big one), can be fired...well god knows Andy could be fired too. So, yea, win a Super Bowl already.

Only, seriously. WIN A SUPER BOWL ALREADY. Thanks.

Mike Vick Says What We Were All Thinking

Michael Vick knows Kevin Kolb is Gone -
On if he thinks he and Kevin Kolb can co-exist like they did this year in 2011: "Me and Kevin haven't spoken about it because of our relationship. When that time comes, we'll keep it real with one another. I think ultimately it comes down to what Kevin wants to do. If he's in Philadelphia and I'm in Philadelphia and we have to work together again, everything will be okay because we always try to help each other, compete and make each other better. So I think regardless of the fact if we're together, everything is going to be just fine, and we'll have another great season it and enjoy it. I think with Kevin being the competitor that he is, if he tries to go and find a job somewhere else, I think he'll be successful doing it. And I know he wants to play. So it's just up to Kevin and what he wants to do."

It's basically up to Kevin and how much he's willing to start elsewhere.  Remember, dude was a second round pick and definitely didn't come into the league with any crazy hype.  He's played well with the chances he's been given, but to change systems and expect him to immediately shine is setting pretty high expectations.  He's probably not even 100% confident he would play well on another team.

Also of note were Vick's comments about whether or not he could be as successful elsewhere as he is in Philly, where he admitted that he "really [doesn't] think so" and that Fat Andy "just has a way of bringing out the best in me."

Jesus, just kiss already.


h/t Deadspin

Andy Reid: Haters Gonna Hate

He may be the worst game-managing coach of all time. He may never understand when to appropriately throw a challenge flag or to begin using his timeouts. He may even have eaten one of the rookie special teamers back in 2001. But what Andy Reid lacks in physical fitness and common football sense, he makes up in preparation and consistency.

Who took a "rebuilding" season and turned it into second place in the NFC? Andy Reid.

Who took a ex-con, run-first quarterback and turned him into an MVP candidate? Andy Reid.

Who coached a 35-7 second half to beat the rival Giants and nearly secure the NFC East championship? Andy Reid.


They gonna say what they want about Big Red, cause the haters are always gonna hate.

Philly Sports WikiLeaks: Andy Reid

TheWizWit has numerous private emails from many of Philadelphia sports' biggest names.
We will leak them as we please.


Mr. Lurie,

First of all, sir, I'd just like to wish you a merry...happy...Hanukkah oil candle ceremony. I understand this is an important and meaningful time for your people and while I'm not certain American Jesus completely approves of this much dradling, I hope you and your lovely, lovely wife are enjoying the holiday season. Christmas season. Santa Claus. Cookies. Ham. Big glazed ham. Where was I?

Oh, DeSean's contract. You know how you were saying that you don't want to pay him what he's worth because it's bad business? Well, I've figured out how we can keep him underpaid. Two words: FLY ROUTES.

Just keep sending him on fly routes and let Jeremy and Jason rack up the stats. I understand that the ridiculous stipulation in his contract that says we have to throw him the ball on the first play of every game was my idea, but trust me this time -- the other receivers will gobble up all the receptions. You see, JL, it's about numbers. You love numbers! If DeSean finishes with a lower NUMBER of catches and touchdowns than, say, Hakeem Nicks, we get to pay him less than Hakeem Nicks! It's a revolutionary idea! Sure, we'll have to deal with Drew Rosensaus' stupid smelly face all summer, but you and Howie speak his language, right? This is brilliant. I think I just transformed Free Agency, Mr. Lurie. I'm a genuis. Smartypants. Smarties. Candy. Mandy. Moore. Smores. Smores....

Huh?  Where was...OH! So you remember how DeSean got after the Bears loss, when he called me "Brodie" and the F word and threw his W'd hand all in my face? Yeah, I don't think...uh...he's going to run all of these fly patterns quietly. We're going to have to be very careful, here. There is no way ANYBODY can find out that we're purposefully altering our gameplan to make sure DeSean Jackson's stats are mediocre to give us an upper hand in contract negotiations next year. That would be incredibly bad.

Now, since we both know that I'm so busy that I don't even have the time to edit my emails, I'll leave you with this:

[I passed gas]



L'Chaim,


Andy

Eagles 26, Bears 31: Cutler Lives!

The NFL is Fixed - So Asante Samuel inadvertently makes contact with another players' helmet during a shoulder tackle and gets fined $40,000 while Andre Johnson only gets $25,000 for RIPPING OFF A DUDES HELMET AND PUNCHING HIM TWICE IN THE HEAD? I understand the caps lock is a bit leading, but check it, even in lowercase it's crazy. he got into a fistfight during the game, ripped off the other guys helmet, and successfully beat him about the face and head. Twenty-five K and no suspension? Crazy.

Well, maybe not that crazy. The NFL has a nationally-televised only-game-in-town to sell on its network this Thursday. And they couldn't have the lowly Texans going into this game without their best player, could they? I mean, who knows how quickly the game could be over without him? They needed to keep this whole "rage-fueled fistfight" incident low-key and under-penalized because, hey, the Texans need all the help they can get to make a date with the Eagles in Philly an attractive national matchup. And the NFL needs as many eyeballs on the screen to secure those fat ad revenue checks. Keep dancin' for that money, ho!

I've said it before: the NFL is fucking rigged. Gosh danget do I love the First Amendment.

What else did we learn? Tackling, Quentin Mikell is in Michael Lewis Territory, Bears Stretched Us Out, Give Cutler Credit, Come Back Asante, Moose Your Suit Looks Ridiculous, Fix Yo Field, and Blame the O-Line.


Tackling - The Birds defense played like butt(er scrapple). While it fits to point the finger at the secondary for Exhibits A and B, the majority of the problems on defense were with tackling. Devin Hester bubble screens for 39? Matt Forte up the gut for 61? You're poopin me, right?

Listen, I know Andy Reid. Big Red and I are like Britt Reid and Oxycontin (only I'm not smuggled in his asshole). Andy Reid chewed out the kids because they showed a lack of effort. Team awareness was, like, a 65. Solution? TACKLESCHOOL! When a good team loses like this one did on Sunday, it's time to get back to basics.

Quentin Mikell is in Michael Lewis Territory - Remember Michael Lewis? Neither do I. Quentin Mikell is well on his way to being sent to the barren wasteland of Candlestick park along with other zombie Eagles like Westbrook and Lewis. Missed tackles, poor coverage, slow pursuit of runaway runningbacks -- it doesn't look good for the lone veteran of an otherwise young team. The blame last year was placed squarely on the shoulders of then-rookie now-Redskin Macho Harris, but even then there were visible cracks in Mikell's armor. This year -- now playing alongside a much more capable Nate Allen -- it looks like we may need to draft another Safety early next year. Allen hasn't been perfect, but you can't point the finger at the rookie again this season.

Bears Stretched Us Out - I HATE the stretch play. HATE IT. Why? Because the Eagles are TURRIBLE as defending the thing. With the middle of the defense having exponentially improved through addition by subtraction (MINUS Bunkley PLUS Dixon), the Bears were smart to exploit the edges. While the Eagles certainly don't lack team speed, their featherweight coverage-only corners can't tackle. Kudos to Chicago for reaching into the Patriots 2004 beat-the-Eagles playbook.

Give Cutler Credit - As Eagles fans it's easy for us to say our defense didn't do this or our defense didn't do that, but what Cutler did speaks for itself. 247 yards, 4 touchdowns, and ZERO picks for a 146.2 rating. Yes, yes, our defense failed to do this/that, but Jay took advantage, and won them the game while putting up some gaudy numbers.

Come Back Asante -

Moose Your Suit Looks Ridiculous -

For real though, a tie...AND an ascot...AND a pocket square. All inside of a suit that looks like he plays for the Business Yankees. You win, Daryl "Silky" Johnston.

Fix Yo Field - Yada, yada, yada, here is a picture of 1 and a half hot Asian girls in mud! Let's hope we don't have a game in Chicago come playoff time.

Blame the O-Line - I think a large part of this loss has to be blamed on the offensive line. They were downright offensive!

...I'm sorry.

Anyway, when a unit receives as much praise as this group has over the past several weeks, it's important not to overlook them when it comes to passing blame. Sure, maybe Vick held the ball too long. Sure, maybe it was the receivers' fault for not getting open in time. Whatever it is one can say to defend our overachieving O-line, all you have to do is look at the tape to see how badly the Birds were losing the battle at the line of scrimmage. I'm guessing they felt overconfident coming off a great performance against the vaunted Giants line and underestimated a under-appreciated Bears group. They've got more than Peppers, apparently.

Next up is Houston on Thursday at home. Can't lose, won't lose (Harlem shake).

Go Birds!

Eagles 59, Redskins 28: The Quarterback Prototype

Madden 2004 - It happened. The promise of Michael Vick's full potential was fulfilled this Monday night in Landover, Maryland. You know the stats: 20/28 for 333 yards passing, 4 passing touchdowns, 80 yards rushing, and 2 rushing touchdowns. Yes, this changes everything.

ESPN may have the Falcons at #1 on their Power Rankings this week, but they were beaten handedly by the Eagles less than a month ago with a backup quarterback. NFL fans are now realizing that they are literally witnessing football history on a weekly basis. Mike Vick is undefeated in any game he has started and finished. He has zero interceptions. He has zero lost fumbles. He's running a very complex offensive scheme with absolute ease. He's piloting the leagues most explosive offense to new heights in a year where most of the Super Bowl favorites have been grounded. Shit, the Pro Football Hall of Fame even requested Vick's jersey from Monday night. This is big. This is historic. This is Madden 2004.

Michael Vick is in a position to make one of the greatest comebacks in sports history. A mercenary field general with a cannon arm and a killer instinct is leading a team of talent-drenched kids through the NFL jungle. Neither NFL golden boy Peyton Manning nor friendly foe Donovan McNabb could stop them. What exactly are we witnessing here?

With 7 weeks remaining in the regular season and so much left unanswered, this story is far from over. But as of now, if this Philadelphia Eagles team can stay healthy, it looks like there is a legitimate shot of Michael Vick -- the same man who spent 2 years in prison and last year running 2-yard wildcat plays -- hoisting the Lombardi trophy.

The NFL: Where Amazing Happens.

What else did we learn? LaRon Landry Got His, Dimitri Patterson's Hands are Sticky, Jerome Harrison: Karma Police, Beat 'em After a Bye, Steve Young: Critic turned Believer, How to Beat Vick, Andy Reid Back Pats, Mike Vick Head Explosion Meter, DeSean's Record, Worst to First, and Fuck the Giants.


LaRon Landry Got His - You talk shit before a game to a player/team that's better than you and you get what you deserve. Some things are fair game in the verbal confrontations that proceed an NFL kickoff. Brain-threatening concussions aren't one of them. That's why it was so gratifying to see that shit-talking, center-spitting asshole get his on play numero uno. Suck it, #30.

Dimitri Patterson's Hands are Sticky - I really hope teams keep testing this guy. There are reasons beyond a hip flexor as to why Ellis Hobbs' buttcheeks are warming bench every Sunday. Dimitri Patterson is pretty good. In each of the last two games, Patterson has been tested by top-flight quarterbacks and has made them pay. A fantastic game against Reggie Wayne last week and two INTs and a pick six on Monday. I love DP! Wait....

Jerome Harrison: Karma Police - Eleven carries for 109 yards (9.9 avg) and a TD. Nothing in this life is free, Cleveland. You can't just go around stealing awesome runningbacks and not have a trade come back to bite you in the ass at some point. The universe has a way of keeping itself in balance, so consider the Mike Bell for Jerome Harrison exchage payback for what you did to Denver.

Beat 'em After a Bye - You mean to tell me the Redskins had two weeks to prepare for that ass-whooping on Monday? That's the best McNabb and Shanahan could do in TWO WEEKS!? Haaaahahahahahaha.

Steve Young: Critic turned Believer - I watched the whole 12-hour ESPN pre-programming for this weeks Monday Night Football game. During several of their 700 segments, it was apparent that Hall of Fame QB Steve Young was critical of Michael Vick and his (former) style of play. It was obvious to any Eagles fan that Steve either hadn't watched much of the Birds this season or that he was threatened by the success by another left-handed running QB, but immediately after the game he was Vick's #1 cheerleader. Young called Vick's performance "a transformational moment," "the full fruition of the position," and "one of the most defining games at quarterback I’ve ever seen." Think he's a fan now?

How to Beat Vick - Another thing Steve Young managed to point out was the difference in game planning for Vick opposing teams must go through now that they didn't have to when he was a Falcon. The rule of thumb was to spy him, make your defensive ends hold their position, and force him to throw from the pocket. The Eagles were actually great at this and that's part of the reason why they often contained Vick in their former battles. Nowadays, things are much different.

As Young mentioned, you may want to completely flip your game planning strategy now for Mr. Mexico. Instead of forcing him to stay in the pocket (where he had a perfect 158.3 QB rating on Monday), you may want to force him to run. Sure, you're going to give up big chunks of yards and lots of underneath passes, but you're saving yourself from the back-breaking deep passes that have murdered teams thus far this year. Let him run and try to get good licks on him when he doesn't go out of bounds -- the dude has already admitted he won't ever slide. This is the only way to contain MV7 at the moment, and if the Giants are smart, this'll be what they look to do Sunday night.

Andy Reid Back Pats - The team was ripe for a big letdown on the road after a big home win against Peyton Manning and the Colts, but came through and dominated a tough divisional opponent. They didn't even start practicing until last Thursday! Andy Reid and the rest of the coaches deserve some serious credit here, especially since we give him so much shit when things don't work out well. If they can pull off a convincing win against the Giants, Big Red better be getting at least a HJ from wifey this week.

Mike Vick Head Explosion Meter -

DeSean's Record - That 88-yard opening play touchdown was actually the longest reception of DeSean's career. And, you know, he's had a lot of long ones. #Pause

Worst to First -

Yeah, just let that marinate in through your thoughtsicles for a while.

Fuck the Giants - I mean, really. Fuck the Giants.

I live and work in New York, and the only thing more annoying than the pervasive urine smell and expensive rent are Giants fans. Sure, I've met a few good-natured ones here and there that can have an intelligent conversation concerning the NFC East and can predict outcomes objectively, but for the most part they're just as delusional and homer-d out as many Philly fans. C'mon guys, your city has two teams of which yours is the worst, and you're trying to tell me Eli Manning is better than Michael Vick right now? You must've inhaled too much hobo urine, buddy. I'm taking cash and desktop wallpaper bets all week. Get ready to get blown out like your sisters boyfriends hair.

Go Birds.

Eagles 26, Colts 24: What the WHAT!?

The NFL is Rigged - The spread was +3 for the Colts. The Colts were down 9 points late in the fourth quarter. Something needed to change.

Fast forward to 4th and 18. Last chance for the defending AFC champs. Trent Cole bursts off the line, and although Peyton Manning does a solid job of keeping cool in a closing pocket, the self-proclaimed Quarterback Hunter gets to the 4-time MVP and takes him down. Sack. Game blouses.

Oh wait, no, it isn't. Why? BECAUSE THE NFL IS RIGGED.

I can deal with the call in the first half on the Austin Collie hit. I can deal with the terrible defensive interference on Dimitri Patterson. There was a blurry line for each of those and it can be understood why the refs would call them how they did. But the 4th and 18 call was all-too blatant. In that fraction of time when the yellow hankie went flying in Trent Cole's direction for ACCIDENTLY TOUCHING THE BACK OF PEYTON MANNING'S HELMET, the 4th wall for me was dropped and I saw the awful truth. The NFL is rigged folks. It just is.

Fuck it, we won. Unless you bet the Eagles...cause then you lost.

What else did we learn? Vince Vaughn Was There, Why Challenge?, Booing While Freeze-handed Motionless Guy is on Field Should Replace Snowball Santa, Oh No, Nate!, CBS: NFC = WCW, Michael Vick's Arm is Stupid, Andy Reid was a Giant Child, and Countdown to Showdown.


Vince Vaughn Was There -

How bout that shit, eh? For some reason, I have this feeling that real-life Vince Vaughn is like Chappelle-show Wayne Brady. Something in his 4am cocaine rage eyes tell me so.

Why Challenge? - I'm really starting to believe that Andy Reid is a lot more emotional than we give him credit for. We generally don't consider Big Red an emotional guy, with all of his throat-clearing and baritone press conference nothingtalk. But think about when he's in pressure situations -- the dudes makes incredibly brash and emotional decisions. It's 3rd and 8 in the beginning of the second quarter and he wastes a timeout by challenging a play where Reggie Wayne clearly catches the ball. Why? Because of his emotional reaction to a close play and an outburst from the crowd. It's either that or because he's a moron. And Andy Reid isn't a moron..........right?

And why couldn't we challenge the Collie concussion/fumble? Because you wasted that timeout already, Fatty Mormon. Speaking of Austin Collie...

Booing While Freeze-handed Motionless Guy is on Field Should Replace Snowball Santa - WAY more cold-blooded. Asante Samuel freaking out, the entirety of the Eagles Defense and coaching staff yelling at the refs while the crowd erupts in a booing frenzy...that shit was timeless. Snowball Santa is for vajayjay's!

Oh No, Nate! - According to Twitter (which has never lied to me), Rookie Safety Nate Allen is probably out of Monday's game against Benchtime McBurgundy and the Washington Racistnames with a neck sprain. While Kurt Coleman should do okay in his place, this team is certainly worse without the quietly prolific Allen playing the outfield.

CBS: NFC = WCW - I love the split between CBS and FOX. Because CBS is the AFC station and FOX is the NFC station, the slant/spin each network spews fourth concerning their respective conferences is laughable. It's kinda like listening to a WWF commentator making comments about "the other guys" (WCW) in the 1990's. Jim Nantz and Phil Simms spent at least two hours of yesterday's game verbally fellating the Colts. Oh, Shady McCoy breaks a big run up the gut? It's probably because of injuries to the Colts defense. What's this? Vick throws an errant pass incomplete to DeSean Jackson? It's probably due to that vaunted Colts defense. CBS needs to get more fair and balanced in their NFC coverage. Fair and balanced like, you know, Fox.

Michael Vick's Arm is Stupid - It's like a goddamn retard. Sixty yards in the air hitting DESEAN JACKSON in stride. Although it feels good to many to hate him for his past, we should all be appreciating Mike Vick in his prime. He's got the arm, learned how to play sound and throw accurately learning under Reid and Mornigwheg, and at 30 he's still got the jets. Really, just look at his body of work this season and ask yourself if he's not the prototype of the perfect quarterback. This was the guy Atlanta thought they'd have with him at 30, they just didn't expect him to go to jail for two years and come out doing it for the Eagles.

Andy Reid was a Giant Child -

Hahahahahahahaha, full video here. At least nobody can say he didn't throw that shit far. I'm impressed even for a Greg Oden-like monster child such as Andy.  Please please pleeeease make giant baby Andy Reid the new internet meme.  Him and all-white Kobe can sit on a bench with sad Keanu or something.  I'm looking at you, WithLeather.

Countdown to Showdown - Forget the Redskins...we got that game (JINX!). The real test is in two weeks against Manning Lite and the New York Giants. Believe it or not, the Giants are looking like the best team in the league right now, having racked up 5 straight victories in impressive fashion. The Eagles are now at relative full strength, and have the weapons to be a dominant force in this league. One of these two teams will win the division and have a great shot at NFC supremacy. Should be a good one. I have a feeling there may be another Desktop Wallpaper Bowl happening soon....

Go Birds.

Autotuned Andy Reid To Brighten Your Day

DJ Steve Porter - the same guy who brought us the fantastic Press Hop and Press Hop 2 videos - gives us this outstanding little ditty.  Andy Reid spits hot fire son! 

It was a rought weekend; at least this video gives Philly sports fans a reason to smile.  You may now go back to calling Kenny Britt and Juan Uribe assholes.

Eagles 20, Packers 27: Pointing Fingers!

Oh snap!

So THAT shit didn't pan out how we wouldda guessed. If you had two season-ending injuries, two concussions, and a return of the Michael Vick Experience scramble party on your scorecard, then you are the winner! And psychic. WIIIIITCH!!!

And while I was hoping I wouldn't have to write a "Pointing Fingers" article this week, there are obviously some interesting things to talk about / blame for this loss including KevinKolbSucksHe'sTerrible, No Love for DeSean, Brent Celek Kidnapping, Winston Justice's Averageness, Ellis Hobbs, Marty Mornhinweg's employment, Andy Reid's genius, and Omar Gaither.


KevinKolbSuckHe'sTerrible - He's not, actually. I know everyone wants to jump off the Kolb bandwagon after a half of football, but you have to remember that A) the Packers are really good, B) It was only a half, C) the Packers, like the eagles, have been preparing for this game for months, and D) Kevin Kolb is terrible. Wait...scratch that last one. I'll give the kid a couple more shots at it before giving him the Bobby Hoying Award.

And on the flipside, let's not all start sucking Michael Vick's red dog dick just yet. I like Vick more than the average Philly fan (I'm a cat person), but even I wouldn't be dumb/blind enough to take one half against a team that was under-prepared for his skill set as the beginning of the "Vick Era" in Philly (yes, the Daily News has seriously written that). He's got tremendous athletic ability and a cannon for an arm...but let's not forget that his cannon often fires way off target and/or into the hands of players in different color jerseys. He missed two easy crossing patterns including one to a wide open DeSean Jackson in space. Vick is who he is and for the most part that's a very good thing. But he'll never be the faster version of McNabb that you fools are making him out to be.

Lastly, there is nothing wrong with continuously subbing Vick/Kolb during a game. I'm tired of all these people complaining that Kolb can't get into a "rhythm" because of this strategy. It seemed to work okay last year when they did it in both of Kolb's starts (300+ yards in each), and if this is what they practice, this is what they'll be used to. Vick is too dangerous to be sitting on the sideline all game.  From where I'm sitting, it looks like the Eagles have got a Quarterback PROtroversy brewing.  Controversies are so negative -- nothing wrong with having a capable backup signal caller.

No Love for DeSean - How am I supposed to see this nigga Dougie when he only gets four catches? The frustration from Mr. Jackson was obvious all game, and it is the fault of the coaching staff for not trying to get the ball in the hands of their best playmaker. A reverse, a WR screen, a wildcat snap...anything could have been used to get him more touches. With DeSean being grossly underpaid, the offense looking stagnant, Kolb not getting him the ball, Maclin getting more looks and TDs (and money), and the possibility of the Eagles losing more than a few games, the birds are creating the perfect storm for a DeSean Jackson press conference meltdown. Stop cheating me outta fantasy points, Marty!

Brent Celek Kidnapping - Last seen catching passes, doin' the Captain, and being relevant.

Winston Justice's Averageness - Not to completely knock the guy because he's done an improbable career 180 to win the Eagles starting RT position, but Winston Justice can in no way be the long term solution at tackle. It was his whiff on Packers LB Clay Matthews that gave Kevin Kolb career concussion #1, and it just seems like the birds are coasting with him as their starter. This has gotta get addressed at some point.

Ellis Hobbs - Daaamn, homey. In Preseason you was the maaaan, homey -- the fuck happened to you?

Actually Ellis' day wasn't all bad, but his confusion / ridiculously bad angle on Packers WR Greg Jennings is what gave up the backbreaker touchdown to the Pack. Jennings actually MOCKED his coverage on the sidelines after! Ellis can make all the solid tackles in the world, but they don't mean anything if he's giving up easy TD passes.

Marty Mornhinweg's Employment - is a big reason for this loss. I'm not even gonna harp on the fourth-and-1 terrible, terrible Vick up-the-gut play call -- it was obviously first-degree retarded. But there was so much more that was bad about his job calling this game. How about McCoy only getting SEVEN carries (5.0 avg)? How about calling that CRAZYPREDICTABLE goal line shovel pass that's been in the Eagles playbook since 1994? Who cares if Vick has never practiced this before and that it's completely obvious to everyone watching that he has no idea what he's doing? LET'S RUN BURN A DOWN AND RUN THAT SHIT ANYWAY! Go Marty!

Andy Reid's Genius -

"(Clears throat) How much time is left, ref?"
"Looks to be about 5 minutes and change."
"Okay, lemme get 4 timeouts."
"Uhh...you only have 3."
"Okay, lemme get 3 timeouts."
"You're only allowed one at a time."
"Since when!?!"

And don't forget that he tried to murder our punch-drunk stumbly starting MLB by putting him back in the game after a concussion. One thing I did like, though -- Andy and Marty dusted off the Playstation 2 at halftime and dug into the 2005 Atlanta Falcons' playbook to get something going with MV7. Cheap sideline scramble left! Cheap sideline scramble right! It's just a shame Andy's brilliance couldn't come up with much else.

Omar Gaither - is baaaaaad. Bad meaning bad not bad meaning good. Packers points with StewBrad in the game - 3. Packers points with Omar Gaither in the game - 24. Ouch.  Get well soon, Stew!


Overall, while this loss felt especially painful because of the season-ending injuries and poor play of Kevin Kolb, we have to remember that this is only the first game. We came into this week with zero people on the injury report...it was only a matter of time before that sheet was filled with names. It's how we do. But I sincerely believe that this can be a very good year for the Eagles if they can play to their strengths (QB pressure, creating turnovers, quick passes, Vick running) and avoid the dumb mistakes/penalties.  Plus we have a good punter...so that's a plus.

The Lions are on tap -- time to get the first W.  Go birds.

Main picture courtesy of AP Photo/Miles Kennedy via ESPN.

Andy Reid: "Concussion..(clears throat) Schmuncussion."

Good to see Andy got this memo... but someone should probably tell him that The Onion is usually pretty satirical.

Bash your head on the jump to see some questionable "concussion" videos.

"Clearly, there was no concussion here. It's pretty obvious Stewart was just walking off the effects of some Dizzy Bat Relay he was enjoying on the sidelines."

"I heard Kevin and Clay Matthews having a disagreement about whether The Linc was genuine grass or not.  Glad to see Kevin paying attention to the details of the home field.  Obviously I've gotta put Kevin's face in a better position next week.  Times yours."


[The Onion]

Fake Andy Reid Asleep at Airport, Fat

Who is this striking, sleepy man? Why does he look so much like Andy Reid? Why is he wearing Andy's famed 2001-2003 style NFC Pro Bowl 4XL Hawaiian shirt? There are so many questions I have for our flabby faux coach.

Does he like to run the ball? Are his children clear-headed model citizens? Did a woman actually allow him to put his penis inside her long enough to create children? WHAT A MYSTERIOUS WORLD THIS IS!

Video after the jump.

Andy Reid Luvs Da Kids

While never a beacon for successful parenting, Fat Andy has always been good with the (contractual) visiting of area children's hospitals. While I'm not sold on the positive impact the presence of a 400lb football coach can have on a 7 year-old cancer patient, I honestly do commend his efforts.

And with that, I will now make fun of him in a series of doctored photographs. Blogs!

Fin.