Taking the Scenic View: Thoughts on Creating and Keeping a Healthy Perspective on Life

"That's life."

"It’s part of life."

"That is how life goes."

It seems as though

I’ve been saying these types of things a lot lately.

I was talking with my hubby the other day,

because at times I wonder if

I am a little tough on our girls.

I am a very compassionate and sensitive person,

and sometimes when things don't go their way

I want to coddle them,

but I find that I rarely do.

I have realized that

I want our kids to be sensitive and strong,

but mostly grateful!

I want them to understand that

in this life,

things don't always go our way.

Life can be hard,

but the worst thing we can do is

complain

and feel sorry for ourselves.

The amount of happiness

we have in our life,

truly depends on

our

attitude.

I am hoping to raise them to

be the type of people

that can and will

find the good

in every situation.

I want them to choose happiness...

Life isn’t always perfect,

But it can be great,

in spite of

the imperfections.

People aren't always perfect,

but our relationships

can be wonderful

in spite of

the flaws.

We are human.

Living active,

busy lives,

connecting with other people

for one reason or another

on a daily basis, and

those connections

can be beautiful...

if we allow them to be,

and if we

choose to enjoy what's good.

We can’t enjoy each other,

if we criticize everything

the people in our lives do.

We can’t enjoy this life,

if we focus on

unfulfilled expectations.

We are all made differently,

with different opinions,

and interests,

but

what's great is that we can be happy

if we learn to

appreciate the differences

and rather than trying to change them,

we focus on changing

our perspective. 

Not everyone is going to see things

the way that I do.

No one person

is ever going to live up to my expectations,

because those expectations,

are mine.

My expectations,

belong to me.

The only one

that will ever live up to

your standards

is you.

We have to realize that

we are not always going to live up to other

people's expectations,

and they will not always meet ours,

and that is okay!

If people are not

complaining about us,

to us,

it is not

because we are perfect.

More than likely

it is just because

they

have learned to love us

just the way we are.

A lot can be said for people who

have learned to not let

their "unmet expectations"

resonate with them,

ruin their day

or affect their attitude towards others.

Truly loving others is accepting them

for the good things

that they bring to

our lives.

No one is perfect,

and life

is not always

the perfect party.

The other day,

I found myself saying these words...

Sometimes

that piñata

is going to get broken

before we have a chance to hit it.

It is unfortunate, but

what we focus on (after) is up to us.

We can cry about how unfair it is,

you know,

poor me...

Oh, we stood in that line for so long!

Oh we thought we would have a chance to hit it!

Oh that was our one chance at fun for the day!

Or we can choose to be grateful,

you know,

lucky me...

I am so happy I was invited!

I am glad I got to stand in line next to people that I love!

How nice it was to see the look of excitement

on the face

of (the person) that got to break it.

I am choosing to be happy

for them,

and for me!

There is always a bright side...

(so enjoy the candy that you get afterwards,)

be thankful for the

sweetness

that is still left in your day.

Don't be so busy complaining about all of the things

that didn’t happen

exactly the way you had hoped,

that you are neglecting

to appreciate all of the good things

that surround you.

Choose to enjoy and share the joy

of the people that are there with you.

We can choose happiness

and gratitude.

How we see life,

and others around us

is up to us.

We create our own perspective.

How we live it,

and how we treat the people involved,

is all up to us.

Life is messy,

and complicated,

but

we have the option to make the

complicated situations

even more complicated

or

we have the option to

pick our battles and

find the good in each situation.

Life happens.

The

beautiful

part about it

is that

we have the option

to

love it.

Today friends,

let us choose

the scenic view,

the one filled with beauty.

It is certain,

 there will be a few distractions

that do not meet "our standards" along the way,

but if we keep a healthy perspective

we will most certainly see

lots of beauty along the way as well!

There is

always 

something to be happy about.

The Girl in the Mirror

As I sit here at my desk going through many of my old journal entries, poems and letters to God.

I am so amazed. The girl in the mirror has not changed a whole lot, but the girl inside has changed tremendously!

At 17, I wrote, "I know that there is someone out there for everyone, including me. It might take a little longer than I hope for, or a few more heartaches than I want, but I am sure in the end it will be worth it. Maybe it's not right to give up, maybe it's just best if I move on."

I continued to read the things I wrote at 21, 24, 28, and 31…

There was a trend. I was always talking about a struggle, but I ended my journals with a bit of positivity about the future. I always remained hopeful.  

My journal entries were about many different things that I was experiencing at those times in my life. I wrote about social issues and things that concerned my relationships with friends and family. I often wrote about my faith or whatever personal battle I was facing. I also wrote about small miracles that affected my life. However, the majority of my paperwork was written about love. Ah! Such a hopeless romantic, I was. Although, if you know me, you know that I still am.

I love, love.

I still find myself lost in thought. Lost in the beauty of what is and the beauty that could be. The beauty of life that is.

I am always thinking about the future and what tomorrow may bring. Like the girl in those journal entries, I remain hopeful. Although these days, the difference that I see when I compare the two is that I am not lacking when it comes to appreciating what I have at this very moment.

In my younger years, I did.

Luckily, I have been able to break free from those habits. From the outlook that kept me searching for happiness and looking for how things could improve. They were holding me back from appreciating all of the wonderful things that I had in my life at that time.

I was so focused on the problems that I was experiencing, instead of looking for all of the things that were good, and I missed some of the beautiful moments. 

It took one life changing experience to move me.

It taught me to look inside myself a little more, to be the kind of person that God desires me to be.

Now, my life is good.

Not that things are perfect, nor will every day be hunky dory and full of glory,

but they are good, because happiness is a choice.

As I continued reading I found this entry that I wrote last year, at 33, "There will be many times that we will feel weak and in need of a hero, but whether we have found ourselves an earthly hero or not, we must always remember that we already have a heavenly one! One who has promised us many things."

I realized that “that girl” finally found what she was searching for.

 I never had a problem loving myself, but I was always searching for someone that would love “the me” that I loved. 

I finally realized that there was already someone out there who loved me, as much as, if not more than I could ever love myself. God loved me and He had already given me so many gifts. Gifts that I was neglecting to see.

Because of His love, I was finally able to stop searching for "happiness".

I have many interests and plenty of dreams and goals for myself. I will never stop trying new things, or lose my “hope” that great things can happen.

But He has taught me that while it is okay to be excited about what my future may hold, I must never lose sight of what great things my present contains!

20 years from now when I am looking back at how the girl in the mirror has changed, I hope that my appreciation for the Lord's blessings is something that will remain the same.

16: (3 ways I witnessed happiness)-my kids were on vacation & I enjoyed our time, bible study was beautiful, laying in bed face to face talking to my hubby about our day

17: (1 gift that made me laugh/pray/quiet)-found a craft to do with my girls, something i felt disappointed about turned out okay in the end, a busy day full of fun and loved one's that made me tired

18: (gifts from God)- our girls made honor roll & principals lists again and I am blessed with healthy, smart girls

19: (a grace in the kitchen/weather/that might have never been) the bible on my counter, nice weather permitting me to go on walks, a new friendship

20: (3 gifts you saw close up) my grandmother's smile, my daughter's excitement, truth in "her" actions

21: (1 thing in the sky/memory/ugly) the video my hubby sent me of our proposal, meeting him for the first time, thoughts of what I wish I could have done differently with her, but the growth that resulted from it

22: (1 grace wrinkled/smoothed/unfolded) the lines around "his" eyes that reminds me how hard he works, the cream on my bathroom counter, the clothes my SS forgot in the dryer that I folded for him