Waiting for Direction from my GPS (Great Protector of my Soul)

Yesterday, a door closed.

I was bummed.

I have been working towards a goal for a few weeks now,

but up to this point, it hasn’t been easy

and it hasn’t happened the way I hoped.

The circumstances are out of my control,

so I was a little disappointed.

To look forward to something eagerly

and then to find out it's not happening,

my way

can be discouraging.

This whole

 "change of plans"

thing

has happened quite a bit in my life.

I like to be organized, know what’s happening in my future, and plan ahead...

but many times,

God reminds me that He already has different plans for me.

He tweaks my schedule and thought process on a daily basis.

In fact this morning,

as I was on a hike listening to my iPod,

after about 45 minutes worth of music,

Halo, by Beyonce came on.

Halfway through the song there was a loud pop in my ear

and my iPod shut off.

The last words I heard were loud and clear,

“You know you’re my saving grace,

You’re everything I need and more.”

Perhaps it was a reminder,

God was reminding me to not get discouraged,

He is at work!

We are on the path that He wants us on.

It was like that moment

when we are using our

GPS,

(Global Positioning System)

to go somewhere new

and it tells us to turn on the next street,

but somehow we make a wrong turn.

So the GPS system has to reroute...

wait...

wait...

wait...

done!

After some waiting, the new directions are ready,

so we are free to go happily on our way.

Well, I feel like that is where I am in my life.

I am waiting for new direction

from my other GPS

(Great Protector of my Soul)

J

Each time that I make a wrong turn,

He does something to interrupt my plans

 to put me back on the path that He wants me on.

Currently,

He is telling me

wait...

wait...

wait...

be patient and wait.

That phone call yesterday was disappointing,

however, God’s plans for my life never are.

I’m sure that

whatever comes next,

whatever He has in store for us,

will be great.

So meanwhile,

I’ll just keep moving along,

living, loving, learning and

waiting for His instructions.

An Intentional Life? Check!

Intentional.

deliberate - willful - purposeful - intended

My plan is to live with intention.

Intentionally for Christ.

Intentionally for my family.

Intentionally for myself.

An intentional life takes work, but the reward is ever so great!

It starts with making small tweaks,

that lead to big changes.

For instance, today was my 17th hike.

Regular exercise!

I have made the effort to put on tennis shoes,

every morning for the last 17 days!

Even when my legs feel sore. 

Even when I have other things to do.

Even when I want to make excuses.

I drop the kids off to school and instead of driving home,

since I am dressed for the mountain, I go.

On the weekends, and days when I have other obligations,

I set my alarm clock earlier, make myself get up

and get my hike out of the way!

It has worked.

Fitness progress? ...Check!

Another small tweak,

in my hiking pack I keep headphones.

That way each day,

I can focus on personal growth.

Faith.

I find a new updated seminar/recording.

I listen to all of my favorites.

Joel Osteen, Chuck Swindoll, Joyce Meyer...

And I attend Bible Study once a week.

At the most recent lecture, I wrote this down:

"God's grace provides us these three things:

The Grace to Give.

The Grace to Fight.

The Grace to Grow."

Do I give generously and cheerfully?

Do I "live" beyond my means, or "give" beyond my means?

Am I (are we) spending money on necessities rather than wants?

Am I grateful for the blessings in my life?

Am I teaching my children to be grateful and generous?

Do I give of my time and myself?

Do I rely on Him and the Word more than anything else?

Do I pray as often as I should?

Am I consciously learning from my mistakes?

Most importantly, does my life reflect my beliefs?

Progress? Check!

Today I heard this on my hike,

"Marriage is not about finding the right person,

it is about being the right person."

Have I been intentional in this regard?

Marriage.

Do I meet my husband's needs?

It's easy to give him love and encouragement when things are great,

but do I show him how much I love him when things are not?

Do I give him advice and encouragement on things that benefit him,

even if it doesn't benefit me?

Do I go out of my way for him?

Do I show appreciation for his hard work?

Do I have ((ridiculous or reasonable)) expectations for him?

Do I have those same expectations for myself?

Do I genuinely care about his happiness more than my own?

Do I compliment more than I criticize?

Do I smile more than I frown?

Do I fill the fridge with his favorites?

Do I cook for him?

Am I distracted by other things or am I attentive and put him first?

Do I encourage his relationships with his family and friends?

Do I encourage his hobbies and interests?

Do I do things to serve him/lighten his load?
(like the laundry or ironing?)

Do I listen?
Have I been at home spending quality time with him?

Progress? I think so (I hope so!)... Check!

I also heard the pastor say,

"A Christian home should be beautiful.

It should reflect how much you care for your family."

Homemaking.

Does my home say that love lives here?

That my family spends lots of time together?

That I value my husband and children?

Are there family pictures on the wall?

Is my house clean?

Is the pantry and fridge stocked with food,

so that I can prepare meals for the week?

Is there an unfinished puzzle on the table, is the Bible easily accessible,

and is there a fruit bowl on the counter?

Does my home say that I care about my family members 

mental, physical and spiritual health?

Are there signs that my family enjoys each others company?

Are there calendars marked with appointments, lesson plans,

and chore lists hung up?

Do I keep things organized, routine and on schedule to provide 

accountability and stability?

Progress? Check!

An intentional life? Check!

Between You and Me

If your brother sins against you,
Go and show him his fault,

Just between the two of you.

If he listens to you,

You have won your brother over.

Matthew 18:15, NIV

************

I love this verse.

There are so many verses in the bible

That simply tell us,

How to live.

How to handle things.

How to solve every day problems.

Correctly.

Responsibly.

Lovingly.

This specific verse reminds us

that we do not have to overlook

Or ignore a problem that hurts us,

And that it is okay to confront an issue,

But that we are to do so

In a private

And respectful way.

 

Image by the Black Dahlia

 Yes.

God intended for us to live an

Honest,

Hardworking,

Quiet,

Compassionate,

Grateful life,

Respectfully!

Yet, when I look around,

I can’t help but to see that we live in a world

That does not seem to know the definition of couth.

We see spouses who can’t get into an argument

Without letting their entire family hear about their hurts.

We see reality shows 
Full of people who find it acceptable to curse and yell

At each other publicly when they are angry.

We witness friends and families

Who when they have disagreements,

Use social media

To put their loved ones on blast.

However, this is not God's way...

God’s way

Is

When we

Treat each other with love.

...confronting each other privately,

 ...and forgiving each other willingly.

When we truly value the relationship

We have with someone,

We do not address issues,

To prove our how perfect we are,

Or to win an argument…

We confront issues to help and to heal people.

Our intentions should be to solve a problem,

To prevent a “wrong” from happening again,

To help a loved one who is making hurtful choices,

Or to try to heal a damaged relationship.

We can’t repair a hurting relationship,

By causing more hurt.

By posting about our anger on Facebook.

By getting our children involved in our disputes.

By gossiping

And by openly disrespecting each other.

Confronting the issues privately,

Is not a promise that the problems will be resolved.

We cannot determine how another person will react,

This is why He says,

“If He listens to you,

You have won your brother over.”

We cannot control our “brothers”

Our friends, children, coworkers and spouses,

However, we can control our own behavior.

We choose our character.

We can practice

Compassion,

Honesty

Love,

And

Peace.

And one of the ways that we can do this

Is by learning to apply

Matthew 18:15

To our daily lives.

He has taught me that the best way

To maintain

  Loving and respectful

Relationships

Is to

Confront each other quietly

and

Love each other loudly.

A Straight Path

I had to share this image today.

 It reminds me of God's plan.

nature-wallpaper.blogspot.com

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

**************

Every once in a while,

I get distracted and take a detour.

I spend less time reading the Bible

or doing things that He has put in my heart. 

And I know that when I lose focus

and I spend my time selfishly,

making little to no time for Him,

my days seems seem less

colorful.

But when I meditate on His words,

I feel so blessed.

When I keep Him close,

life is better.

Not that I have less challenges in my life,

but it's that I handle the stress much better with Him. 

He bears my burdens and

he fills me with peace, understanding and love.

His presence fills me UP,

and never lets me down.

The Girl in the Mirror

As I sit here at my desk going through many of my old journal entries, poems and letters to God.

I am so amazed. The girl in the mirror has not changed a whole lot, but the girl inside has changed tremendously!

At 17, I wrote, "I know that there is someone out there for everyone, including me. It might take a little longer than I hope for, or a few more heartaches than I want, but I am sure in the end it will be worth it. Maybe it's not right to give up, maybe it's just best if I move on."

I continued to read the things I wrote at 21, 24, 28, and 31…

There was a trend. I was always talking about a struggle, but I ended my journals with a bit of positivity about the future. I always remained hopeful.  

My journal entries were about many different things that I was experiencing at those times in my life. I wrote about social issues and things that concerned my relationships with friends and family. I often wrote about my faith or whatever personal battle I was facing. I also wrote about small miracles that affected my life. However, the majority of my paperwork was written about love. Ah! Such a hopeless romantic, I was. Although, if you know me, you know that I still am.

I love, love.

I still find myself lost in thought. Lost in the beauty of what is and the beauty that could be. The beauty of life that is.

I am always thinking about the future and what tomorrow may bring. Like the girl in those journal entries, I remain hopeful. Although these days, the difference that I see when I compare the two is that I am not lacking when it comes to appreciating what I have at this very moment.

In my younger years, I did.

Luckily, I have been able to break free from those habits. From the outlook that kept me searching for happiness and looking for how things could improve. They were holding me back from appreciating all of the wonderful things that I had in my life at that time.

I was so focused on the problems that I was experiencing, instead of looking for all of the things that were good, and I missed some of the beautiful moments. 

It took one life changing experience to move me.

It taught me to look inside myself a little more, to be the kind of person that God desires me to be.

Now, my life is good.

Not that things are perfect, nor will every day be hunky dory and full of glory,

but they are good, because happiness is a choice.

As I continued reading I found this entry that I wrote last year, at 33, "There will be many times that we will feel weak and in need of a hero, but whether we have found ourselves an earthly hero or not, we must always remember that we already have a heavenly one! One who has promised us many things."

I realized that “that girl” finally found what she was searching for.

 I never had a problem loving myself, but I was always searching for someone that would love “the me” that I loved. 

I finally realized that there was already someone out there who loved me, as much as, if not more than I could ever love myself. God loved me and He had already given me so many gifts. Gifts that I was neglecting to see.

Because of His love, I was finally able to stop searching for "happiness".

I have many interests and plenty of dreams and goals for myself. I will never stop trying new things, or lose my “hope” that great things can happen.

But He has taught me that while it is okay to be excited about what my future may hold, I must never lose sight of what great things my present contains!

20 years from now when I am looking back at how the girl in the mirror has changed, I hope that my appreciation for the Lord's blessings is something that will remain the same.

16: (3 ways I witnessed happiness)-my kids were on vacation & I enjoyed our time, bible study was beautiful, laying in bed face to face talking to my hubby about our day

17: (1 gift that made me laugh/pray/quiet)-found a craft to do with my girls, something i felt disappointed about turned out okay in the end, a busy day full of fun and loved one's that made me tired

18: (gifts from God)- our girls made honor roll & principals lists again and I am blessed with healthy, smart girls

19: (a grace in the kitchen/weather/that might have never been) the bible on my counter, nice weather permitting me to go on walks, a new friendship

20: (3 gifts you saw close up) my grandmother's smile, my daughter's excitement, truth in "her" actions

21: (1 thing in the sky/memory/ugly) the video my hubby sent me of our proposal, meeting him for the first time, thoughts of what I wish I could have done differently with her, but the growth that resulted from it

22: (1 grace wrinkled/smoothed/unfolded) the lines around "his" eyes that reminds me how hard he works, the cream on my bathroom counter, the clothes my SS forgot in the dryer that I folded for him

The Snowflake

Once upon a time, a raindrop splashed happily in its puddle.
And suddenly it heard the call of the Spirit-wind.
"Come. Come with me.

I want to transform you.

I want to care for you.
I want to take you on a journey that will forever change you."
However, the raindrop laughed and continued to play.

"I am fine here. I do not wish to go."
But the Spirit-wind encouraged him.
"Come, let go of your comfort.
Come with me.

I will change you."

Again, the raindrop did not listen.

So the Spirit-wind patiently waited.

Finally, one day, 

the raindrop decided that the puddle was not enough.

He decided to let go and to follow the Spirit.
The Spirit-wind surrounded it with its every breath
and carried it close to his heart.

The raindrop turned round and round,

and was shaped in by the Spirit's hands.

The Spirit shaped him.

Then shaped him some more.

He was transformed gently, uniquely and beautifully.
Then he began to move slowly toward the ground,

He swirled, floated, and drifted.

The world seemed much more beautiful than it had before.

Finally, he landed upon the face of a child,

who squealed in delight,

"Oooh, a snowflake."

And the Spirit-wind whispered,

"Because you have followed me, you have become who you are meant to be.”

 Author Unknown

A Beautiful Creation

THE TEA CUP

There was a couple who used to go to England to shop in the beautiful stores. This was their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery and especially teacups.

One day in this beautiful shop they saw a beautiful teacup. They said "May we see that? We've never seen one quite so beautiful." As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke. "You don't understand," it said. "I haven't always been a teacup.

There was a time when I was a ball of clay. My master took me and rolled me and patted me over and over and I yelled out, let me alone,' but he only smiled, 'Not yet'.

"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said, "and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. 'Stop it! I'm getting dizzy!' I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, 'Not yet.'

Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I wondered why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled, "Thus hurts!" And I knocked at the door. I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head, 'Not yet.'

"Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. 'There, that's better,' I said. And he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Stop it, stop it!' I cried. He only nodded, 'Not yet.'

"Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could see him through the opening nodding his head, saying, 'Not yet.'

"Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out and placed me on the shelf. One hour later he handed me a mirror and said, 'Look at yourself.' And I did. I said, 'That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful.'

'I want you to remember,' he said, 'I know it hurt to be rolled and patted, but if I just left you, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have not have had any color in your life, and if I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't survive for very long because the hardness would not have held and you would not be strong enough. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you.'

*************

Isn't this beautiful?!I read this story yesterday and I couldn't wait to share it with you! I know there have been many times that I have found myself feeling like that little tea cup.

With many of the hardships in life, we find ourselves praying to our Creator to take the pain away or even asking Him...why? Why God am I hurting? Sick? Sad? Why did I get into a car accident? Why did I lose my job? Why is my family struggling financially? Why haven't I found someone to love me? Why haven't I had children? Why is my parent ill? Why me? Why the people I love? Why...?

We don't understand the trials we must endure in this life and many times, we just want it all to stop or to get easier, but it doesn't, at least not right away.

We don't have all of the answers we would like, and life can be a struggle at times, but I like to think that we are much like the little tea cup. 

We are imperfect in the beginning-going through life, enduring the hardships, and all the while God is carefully molding us into His beautiful creation.  

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and

lean not on your own understanding"

Proverbs 3:5

Second Chances

Yesterday morning as I was doing a few things around the house, I had the radio on. The song, “Broken Road” came on and made me think of my marriage.

“Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you”

That song has so much meaning to me. I had a broken heart…I was lost along the way…until I stumbled across this man. Okay, maybe I didn’t stumble, because neither of us thinks our relationship was left to chance. In fact, we truly believe God led us to each other! I know with all my heart that God led me to this man that knows how to love me.

Later on in the day, “Unanswered Prayers” came on.

“Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talking' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers”

That was twice in one day, that I was reminded my life worked out, that God had plans for me. Years ago, I was praying for my first relationship, hoping that things would get better and we would have a healthy and happy relationship, but those prayers did not work out. My husband? He was praying for his previous marriage and his prayers didn’t work out either.

Whew!

Our unanswered prayers led us to each other! I can’t even begin to imagine how different my life would be if I had never met my husband.

I don’t know what the future holds for us. I don’t know if my husband and I will have 50 more days with each other or 50 more years together. I don’t know if we will have another child together or if our blended family of six will remain this size. I don’t know if my writing will take me on a new journey or if something else will come along.

I do know that I will continue to pray for the things that I think that we need, and that more than likely many of my prayers will go unanswered… but I am okay with that.

Life always works out and His plan is much better than any plan I could have ever dreamt up.  I am thankful for the broken road I traveled on and for the prayers that went unanswered.  

I'll take Plan B any ol' day. ;o)

I believe in second chances and my marriage is just another reason that leads me to believe that God does too.

 

2011 is the perfect opportunity for a second chance. Is there something you prayed for that went unanswered? Are you holding onto guilt or shame because you feel like God will not forgive you? God is a God of forgiveness and a God of second chances. All you have to do is ask.

 Peter 3:18 For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit,

Psalm 30:2  “God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave, gave me another chance at life when I was down-and-out.”

Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”

Today I am linking up with Julie at Marriage Mondays 

A Season to be Thankful (poem)

If it were possible for me to gather up all of the love in the world and comfort you with it, I would.

To make you feel as wonderful as I do today.

You see, my world has become imperfectly perfect.

To step out of a mindset that had kept you broken, confused and angry and step into a life of love, freedom and possibility...

I can’t even begin to express the joy that overwhelms me.

The beauty that I see.

The gratitude that I feel.

You see, the stages of loss are textbook.

The character that develops as a result, is not.

You will experience much of what I have.

You will come to a point when you realize that you can do everything alone.

Then the most wonderful thing will happen.

You will realize that you are not alone.

It was you and Him all along.

He will provide for you, if you allow Him to.

There is much beauty to be found in silence, solitude and surrender.

On that day that you hear His whisper, you understand that you were not meant to be alone.

No, you will not understand everything.

WHY. WHEN. WHAT IF.

But you understand the HOW and the WHO.

When our life becomes complicated, unbearable and harsh, I believe that He is crying with us.

He is standing by offering us peace.

Waiting to help.

Wanting to help.

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose,” He says.

Several Thanksgivings ago, I was full of tears and heartache.

Standing there with my vision blurred.

I remember that time, because it was my time.

My time to weep.  

But HE was there to help me move past that SEASON.

I am grateful for that season and for that pain that I experienced.

That moment led me to this one.

I am especially thankful for this season because I “Live, Get, Embrace, Laugh, Dance, and Love.”

He has given us all many reasons to be thankful and HOPEFUL!

If you happen to find yourself with a blurred vision this holiday, remember that He is there.

Forget the other voices and listen for HIS.

Forget the WHY and focus on the WHO.

Let His peace fill you up this holiday and remember that He has promised that your “time” will come.

May He be everything that you need this season and may you have a very blessed THANKSGIVING!