Choosing Love and Forgiveness

A few nights ago, I was pretty tired and grumpy with my husband just before bed.

I knew the grumpy words exchanged before we went to sleep were my fault, so when I woke up in the middle of the night I left a sappy note on his sink. 

 It led to his usual kiss on the forehead before he left for work.

 

Then, later that morning I text him.

ME:   Truth - Sorry, I took my mood out on you. Have a good day.

HIM:  Dare - I dare to love you through every annoying time and fantastic time. Hehe, love you!!!

  ME:  LOL! I Double Dare you baybay!

...from there we sent a few jokes back and forth and it ended with...

 

HIM: LOL! I love you!!!!

   

Funny isn’t it? 

How silly little things, like being tired can affect our mood with each other and how we have the option to let those little things turn into BIG things or to swallow our pride and resolve the issues immediately.

When it comes to our relationships, we can choose pride, stubbornness and anger, or we can choose love.

It takes something as simple as one person choosing to apologize and acknowledge when they are at fault, and the other person choosing to forgive, instead of holding onto a grudge.

Truth: My marriage is not a perfect marriage, but because of the lack of stubbornness, the willingness to apologize, the ability to be silly with each other, it sometimes feels like we are close!

It is flawed, but it is also forgiving.

 
It is fallible, but it is also uplifting.

  

Our Father gives us the knowledge we need and the ability to do the right thing when it comes to making choices that will foster healthy, happy relationships.

  Our relationships will never be perfect, because as people we are not perfect.

However, our relationships can be filled with so much happiness and love.

When we work towards learning to love each other as the Lord desires us to, it becomes a habit to focus on the positive qualities of others and to cover their flaws with acceptance!

Christ has taught us to keep forgiveness in our heart at all costs.

We were made to love each other.

It’s an expectation that may not always be easy as easy as we'd like, but how fortunate we are to have the opportunity to love and be loved. 

Taking the Scenic View: Thoughts on Creating and Keeping a Healthy Perspective on Life

"That's life."

"It’s part of life."

"That is how life goes."

It seems as though

I’ve been saying these types of things a lot lately.

I was talking with my hubby the other day,

because at times I wonder if

I am a little tough on our girls.

I am a very compassionate and sensitive person,

and sometimes when things don't go their way

I want to coddle them,

but I find that I rarely do.

I have realized that

I want our kids to be sensitive and strong,

but mostly grateful!

I want them to understand that

in this life,

things don't always go our way.

Life can be hard,

but the worst thing we can do is

complain

and feel sorry for ourselves.

The amount of happiness

we have in our life,

truly depends on

our

attitude.

I am hoping to raise them to

be the type of people

that can and will

find the good

in every situation.

I want them to choose happiness...

Life isn’t always perfect,

But it can be great,

in spite of

the imperfections.

People aren't always perfect,

but our relationships

can be wonderful

in spite of

the flaws.

We are human.

Living active,

busy lives,

connecting with other people

for one reason or another

on a daily basis, and

those connections

can be beautiful...

if we allow them to be,

and if we

choose to enjoy what's good.

We can’t enjoy each other,

if we criticize everything

the people in our lives do.

We can’t enjoy this life,

if we focus on

unfulfilled expectations.

We are all made differently,

with different opinions,

and interests,

but

what's great is that we can be happy

if we learn to

appreciate the differences

and rather than trying to change them,

we focus on changing

our perspective. 

Not everyone is going to see things

the way that I do.

No one person

is ever going to live up to my expectations,

because those expectations,

are mine.

My expectations,

belong to me.

The only one

that will ever live up to

your standards

is you.

We have to realize that

we are not always going to live up to other

people's expectations,

and they will not always meet ours,

and that is okay!

If people are not

complaining about us,

to us,

it is not

because we are perfect.

More than likely

it is just because

they

have learned to love us

just the way we are.

A lot can be said for people who

have learned to not let

their "unmet expectations"

resonate with them,

ruin their day

or affect their attitude towards others.

Truly loving others is accepting them

for the good things

that they bring to

our lives.

No one is perfect,

and life

is not always

the perfect party.

The other day,

I found myself saying these words...

Sometimes

that piñata

is going to get broken

before we have a chance to hit it.

It is unfortunate, but

what we focus on (after) is up to us.

We can cry about how unfair it is,

you know,

poor me...

Oh, we stood in that line for so long!

Oh we thought we would have a chance to hit it!

Oh that was our one chance at fun for the day!

Or we can choose to be grateful,

you know,

lucky me...

I am so happy I was invited!

I am glad I got to stand in line next to people that I love!

How nice it was to see the look of excitement

on the face

of (the person) that got to break it.

I am choosing to be happy

for them,

and for me!

There is always a bright side...

(so enjoy the candy that you get afterwards,)

be thankful for the

sweetness

that is still left in your day.

Don't be so busy complaining about all of the things

that didn’t happen

exactly the way you had hoped,

that you are neglecting

to appreciate all of the good things

that surround you.

Choose to enjoy and share the joy

of the people that are there with you.

We can choose happiness

and gratitude.

How we see life,

and others around us

is up to us.

We create our own perspective.

How we live it,

and how we treat the people involved,

is all up to us.

Life is messy,

and complicated,

but

we have the option to make the

complicated situations

even more complicated

or

we have the option to

pick our battles and

find the good in each situation.

Life happens.

The

beautiful

part about it

is that

we have the option

to

love it.

Today friends,

let us choose

the scenic view,

the one filled with beauty.

It is certain,

 there will be a few distractions

that do not meet "our standards" along the way,

but if we keep a healthy perspective

we will most certainly see

lots of beauty along the way as well!

There is

always 

something to be happy about.

Between You and Me

If your brother sins against you,
Go and show him his fault,

Just between the two of you.

If he listens to you,

You have won your brother over.

Matthew 18:15, NIV

************

I love this verse.

There are so many verses in the bible

That simply tell us,

How to live.

How to handle things.

How to solve every day problems.

Correctly.

Responsibly.

Lovingly.

This specific verse reminds us

that we do not have to overlook

Or ignore a problem that hurts us,

And that it is okay to confront an issue,

But that we are to do so

In a private

And respectful way.

 

Image by the Black Dahlia

 Yes.

God intended for us to live an

Honest,

Hardworking,

Quiet,

Compassionate,

Grateful life,

Respectfully!

Yet, when I look around,

I can’t help but to see that we live in a world

That does not seem to know the definition of couth.

We see spouses who can’t get into an argument

Without letting their entire family hear about their hurts.

We see reality shows 
Full of people who find it acceptable to curse and yell

At each other publicly when they are angry.

We witness friends and families

Who when they have disagreements,

Use social media

To put their loved ones on blast.

However, this is not God's way...

God’s way

Is

When we

Treat each other with love.

...confronting each other privately,

 ...and forgiving each other willingly.

When we truly value the relationship

We have with someone,

We do not address issues,

To prove our how perfect we are,

Or to win an argument…

We confront issues to help and to heal people.

Our intentions should be to solve a problem,

To prevent a “wrong” from happening again,

To help a loved one who is making hurtful choices,

Or to try to heal a damaged relationship.

We can’t repair a hurting relationship,

By causing more hurt.

By posting about our anger on Facebook.

By getting our children involved in our disputes.

By gossiping

And by openly disrespecting each other.

Confronting the issues privately,

Is not a promise that the problems will be resolved.

We cannot determine how another person will react,

This is why He says,

“If He listens to you,

You have won your brother over.”

We cannot control our “brothers”

Our friends, children, coworkers and spouses,

However, we can control our own behavior.

We choose our character.

We can practice

Compassion,

Honesty

Love,

And

Peace.

And one of the ways that we can do this

Is by learning to apply

Matthew 18:15

To our daily lives.

He has taught me that the best way

To maintain

  Loving and respectful

Relationships

Is to

Confront each other quietly

and

Love each other loudly.