Showing posts with label remarriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label remarriage. Show all posts

An Other Mother's Project

Yesterday, I started on my very first project for the year. We have been wanting to update Trinity’s bedroom for some time now, but we have had to wait until the construction on our house was finished. I'm am so happy that it is almost done!
For the past few months, I had been thinking about what style to do for her bedroom. Her walls were two different shades of orange and had dinosaur border. The walls were in need of a fresh coat of paint and we needed to update her theme a little. I really wanted to do a theme that reflected her personality, but would grow with her as she ages.
What reflects our 9-year-old Trinity at the moment?
Nature.
She loves ants. Bugs. Plants. Lizards. Birds. Animals. Science.
I have had to get used to all of the creepy crawlies she brings into the house and the little creatures that dwell in her bedroom! They have ranged from Aquasoars to geckos to ants and she has loved them all.
Trinity is my stepdaughter and she tends to have more in common with her daddy.  While my biological daughter, Jocelyn is my little mini-me.
Jocelyn likes reading, writing and drawing. She names every stuffed animal she has and takes care of them as if they are her children. She loves pink, glitter and anything that sparkles. She likes to paint her nails and dance around the house. She sings the lyrics to every song on the radio and says that some day she is going to be famous and the whole world will know all about her.
Trinity could not care less about the world knowing her; she wants to know all about the world. In fact, Trinity wants to save the world! She comes home with new science facts often and there are always piles of leaves, twigs and dried up flowers under her bed. When the girls get gift cards to toy stores and are allowed to pick out a toy she usually ends up with plant or animal habitats.
Even though our girls are so very different, they have gotten so close! The other day as I was in my room folding laundry I could hear them giggling up a storm as they were getting ready for bed. They are two peas in a pod. They fight like sisters who have known each other for years and they love each other like crazy. Their two very different personalities complement each other so well.
If you read my posts you know that I am always bragging on my husband. He has been a huge blessing to me, but there are many times that I stop to think about what a huge blessing, Trinity is too. His daughter has become my daughter's best friend. I couldn't have picked a better girl for the job.
Yes, Trinity has unique interests, she is smart, well behaved and an excellent role model for Jocelyn, but what makes her so special is her heart.
She has a heart that cares and that truly wants to help others. If we cough, she asks if we are okay. If we need something done, she jumps up to do it. If she sees someone hurt she wants to help. If one of the kids is about to get in trouble, she makes excuses for them so that we do not get upset at them. She is a little helper, a little protector and an amazing big sister.
She was six when we first met and she was not going to let me in very easily. Once when I showed up to my (now) stepson’s football game she loudly asked her dad, “Why is her here? Why did you bring her for?” Now we laugh about it, but that day, it was awkward! There were many moments when her dad and I first started dating that she would tell me she wished her mom still lived with her dad. She talked about her family’s “break up” often.
Nearly 3 years have passed since I met her and this house that I used to visit has become “our” home. Since marrying her dad, I have had many talks with her about how hard I will try to be a good stepmom. I have also used a line that I loved when I heard it… I told the girls that Jocelyn “grew in my belly”, but Trinity “grew in my heart!”
I am not her biological mom and I will never take her place, but I try very hard to fill her mother's shoes when she is not around. I love Trinity the way that I want Jocelyn’s future stepmom to love her. I am Jocelyn’s mommy and Trinity’s “other” mom.
As an "other" mom, I had a big responsibility to love this little girl and make her feel just as special and as loved as my own child. Because we married when our girls were young we were able to transition into our new roles fairly easy.
I make Trinity's meals and do her laundry. I help her with her homework. I style her hair before school and I say her prayers with her at night. I discipline her when she needs it and I hug her when she needs it. 
I am her "other" mother and I am grateful she is mine!

P.S. Her furniture was pretty faded and and scratched so I am spraying it and then going to give it a distressed look. Fingers crossed, I'm a little nervous! ...Can’t wait to show you the pictures of the finished product. We are almost done!

Dear Lord,
Thank you for the wonderful children that you have given to me!
Please help our children continue to bond in a way that will keep them close for life. Please continue to foster the relationship that I have with my stepchildren and that my husband has with my daughter, so that we will have a happy and healthy family for years to come.
Also, please bless my marriage.
Amen.

Second Chances

Yesterday morning as I was doing a few things around the house, I had the radio on. The song, “Broken Road” came on and made me think of my marriage.

“Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you”

That song has so much meaning to me. I had a broken heart…I was lost along the way…until I stumbled across this man. Okay, maybe I didn’t stumble, because neither of us thinks our relationship was left to chance. In fact, we truly believe God led us to each other! I know with all my heart that God led me to this man that knows how to love me.
Later on in the day, “Unanswered Prayers” came on.

“Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talking' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers”

That was twice in one day, that I was reminded my life worked out, that God had plans for me. Years ago, I was praying for my first relationship, hoping that things would get better and we would have a healthy and happy relationship, but those prayers did not work out. My husband? He was praying for his previous marriage and his prayers didn’t work out either.
Whew!
Our unanswered prayers led us to each other! I can’t even begin to imagine how different my life would be if I had never met my husband.
I don’t know what the future holds for us. I don’t know if my husband and I will have 50 more days with each other or 50 more years together. I don’t know if we will have another child together or if our blended family of six will remain this size. I don’t know if my writing will take me on a new journey or if something else will come along.
I do know that I will continue to pray for the things that I think that we need, and that more than likely many of my prayers will go unanswered… but I am okay with that.
Life always works out and His plan is much better than any plan I could have ever dreamt up.  I am thankful for the broken road I traveled on and for the prayers that went unanswered.  
I'll take Plan B any ol' day. ;o)
I believe in second chances and my marriage is just another reason that leads me to believe that God does too.
 
2011 is the perfect opportunity for a second chance. Is there something you prayed for that went unanswered? Are you holding onto guilt or shame because you feel like God will not forgive you? God is a God of forgiveness and a God of second chances. All you have to do is ask.

 Peter 3:18 For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit,
Psalm 30:2  “God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave, gave me another chance at life when I was down-and-out.”
Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”

Today I am linking up with Julie at Marriage Mondays 

Keep Stepping (A Poem about Moving On)



I wish I could take your pain away,
I wish I could tell you that she (or he),
Is not worth another second of your time,
A good spouse, a good partner, a good friend,
Doesn’t do that to someone they love,
A person of strong character, sound mind, and a healthy spirit,
Doesn’t do that to anyone,

Anyone can promise to love you,
But only the worthy, know how,
To truly care for another person,
They know, that a person’s heart,
Is a special treasure.
That they have received,
And they value it,
They know that commitment should not be taken lightly,
And another’s feelings should never be disregarded,
They know that while words matter, actions matter more,
They know that no one is perfect,
Yet, still they strive to be perfect,
For you,
Because they love you,
Because they love, that you love them,

As your heart begins to heal,
You will make your way back out into the world,
You will meet some,
You will meet few,
You will meet many,
Each story is different,
But no matter who or how many you meet,
Just know, that you will want to rush it,
You will miss the comfort of another’s arms,
You will want to hold someone again,
And to be held,
But when you feel yourself falling, you will stop yourself,
Because you will remember the pain,
The loss,
The emptiness,

You will meet one that you like, one that likes you, and one that you could love,
You will meet one that needs your love, one that does not know how to love,
and one that loves too freely,
But you will take your time,
You will listen to their hearts and to yours,
You will hear what they say and pay close attention to what they do,
You will ask about their life before you, because it affects their life with you,
You will find out what and who they value,
And you will hear about the love that they lost,
You will listen closely, because history sometimes repeats itself,
But you, having experienced this pain,
Will not let your history happen again,

You will be careful and wait for someone who is worthy,
You will know who uses your love,
Only for what they can gain from it,
You will know that she who does not even love herself,
Cannot love you back,
You will not settle for an okay love,
Because this time you seek the one,
The one that will learn all about your heart,
And how to take care of it,
This person will sometimes make mistakes,
As do you,
But their mistakes will not be deep,
They will not cause hurts that damage your spirit,
They will not carve away at the trust,
They will be shallow, everyday mistakes,
That do not hurt much,
Still that person will be apologetic,
Because that person,
That worthy person,
Will love you so much that they cannot bear to see you hurt
Even a little,

But, even without having found, that person,
You will still find yourself happy,
You will love yourself,
Delight in the alone time,
You will enjoy the quiet in the house,
Your thoughts will amuse you,
Your ideas will inspire you,
Your memories will no longer haunt you,
You will benefit from conversations with friends,
Books, movies and music will be pleasant, because you choose them,
Bible verses will take on a new meaning and will speak to your soul,
You will eat when you want, sleep when you want,
And laugh at the things that you find humorous,
You will learn more about yourself,
Things that you had forgotten,
Things from your past that you used to like so much,
You will fall back in love with you,
All that you are,
And all that you have to offer,

You will be happy again,
At times, you will remember your past,
And as you think of the love of your past,
You will remember the hurt,
And how it felt like nothing else in the world mattered,
And how no one would ever compare to that person,
But this time you will smile,
Because you will know that it was not true,
It was not true then,
And it is not true now,

Life can get blurry,
Love can be obscure,
Our destiny, unknown,
But our future is in our hands,
And our life is what we make of it,
But when we are so wrapped up in what we want,
We cannot see what we need,
And when we focus on what we do not have,
We forget to be grateful for the things that we do,
So remember as much as you want love,
Do not rush it,
Do not hurry it,
And definitely do not wait on it,

Live your life,
Love your life,
And embrace the now,
Value the blessings,
Be appreciative for change,
Be thankful for your broken heart,
Because to feel is to live,
To live is to learn,
To learn is to grow,
And soon, you will grow into the person that God desires you to be,

Each day that you wake,
Each tear that you cry,
Leads you one step closer to your happiness,

So keep stepping…
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