Things I Have Learned

 

Last month, I blew out 34 candles. 

This month, I'm sharing 34 things life has taught me.

1

I have learned that the best kind of love is the love that you give to yourself.

No one knows you like you do. If you do not treat yourself with kindness, then how can you expect someone else to? Maya Angelou said it best, "if you don’t like something, change it, if you can’t change it, change your attitude.” The words that you speak to yourself are the most important!

2

I have learned that some people thrive on drama.

Even when there is no drama left in their own life, they will gossip about other's lives to create it. The only way to deal with them is to keep a healthy distance.

3

I have learned that sometimes those who do little good, can seem to have it good, but sometimes those who have it good, have little that is good. (lol, Got it?) 

4

I have learned that relationships require leaning.

I truly believe that if we cannot be honest and vulnerable with the people that we love, then who can we trust. Relationships are about relating.

5

I have learned that sometimes the people that “show up” are the ones you would least expect.

6

I have learned that just when we think we have learned enough, God sends us another lesson.

7

I have learned that some parents, just shouldn't be.

Parenting is a privilege, and I think Child Protective Services needs a new philosophy!

8

I have learned that if you lack empathy, your relationships will suffer.

Friendships require compassion.

9

I have learned that we should never take any "prescription drug" lightly.

I just cannot get over the fact that a sleeping pill made me lose it. It affected how I viewed and handled the things in my life for the several months that I took it. Lesson learned!

10

I have learned that God expects great things.

Many people are content with only helping those within the walls of their home, and some are only concerned with what they can do for themselves, but with God we can do more and we should.

11

I have learned that some relationships are seasonal.

We evolve and relationships must be prioritized.

12

I have learned that the love of a parent is like no other.

When I feel completely overwhelmed with love, it is usually when I am thinking about my child!

13

I have learned that your husband/wife can be your best friend!

14

I have learned that when it comes to family, one person is usually the glue.

It should not be that way. Although at times, it seems as though one person usually is. When that person is no longer around, whether it is intentional or unintentional, it changes the story for everyone. One person's absence can have a domino effect.

15

I have learned that one person can make a difference in the life of another.

All it takes is one person to hurt a child, to change that child’s life. One.

Then again, all it takes is one person to love a child, to change a child’s life.

Sometimes a kind word, a thoughtful deed, or just being there can save a life.

(Read, “A Child Called It.”)

16

I have learned that when we say, "I'd never," a life experience comes around and teaches us “We just might.”

Life has a way of altering our views and making us look at things with a completely different perspective. Personal experience shapes us. Who we were then, is not who we are now, so speak with care.

17

I have learned that taking care of your health is so important.

Spiritual, physical, and mental health is all connected. We must nourish the body, mind and soul for a healthier, happier being.

18

I have learned that relationships need maintenance.

They require all parties involved to make the effort.

19

I have learned that the saying, "Behind every happy man, is a good woman" is true!

A wife can choose to practice honesty, forgiveness, and patience. She can influence "the fruit of the spirit" or she can influence the alternative. She can build up his self-worth or tear him down. She can encourage his relationships with his family and friends or she can discourage them. When a man loves a woman he hears what she says and he believes it.

20

I have learned that, “Behind every confident woman, is a loving man,” is also true.

A husband can choose to practice honesty, love and acceptance. He can thank her for her contributions to the family, pamper her when he sees that she is weary or he can neglect to acknowledge any of it. He can encourage her to be all that she desires or he can discourage her. When a woman loves a man, she hears what he says and she believes it.

 

21

I have learned that God speaks to us in many ways and when we do not listen the first time, he keeps trying.

Have you ever had a new door open, but neglected to make the change? Have you ever had a nagging feeling about something, but shrugged it off, and later that same opportunity presented itself again in a new way? God works in mysterious ways. Mysterious and miraculous!

22

I have learned that the value of what a person should be is sometimes based on what he has, rather than what he gives.

Sometimes, we get it backwards. On a side note, have you ever noticed that it is usually the most generous people that are the happiest?!

23

I have learned that if you want something beautiful, you have to do the work!

 

24

I have learned that we all have something to offer.

Today, I read a verse in Psalms reminding me that our book is already written. God has plans for us, and His plans are great.

25

I have learned that laughter is like sunshine for the soul.

26

 I have learned that a happy family does not come easy.

Raising our children and nurtuting our marriage is a lot of work. If we want our children to grow into functioning adults, with healthy relationships we have to model what that means.

27

I have learned that the people that are there for the “milestones” should be appreciated, but the people that are there “all the days in between” should be cherished!

28

I have learned that God really is forgiving!

I could not wrap my mind around why the God that we are taught to fear, the God with many laws would forgive our sins. I read the biblical account of David, I wondered how David could do such awful things, and still God loved him, promised him many things, and kept those promises! Then as I continued reading, I learned that it is not about the mistakes we have made, it is about whether or not we have learned from them and truly seek His forgiveness. God saw David’s heart, He sees our hearts, and He forgives!

29

I have learned that even when we do not trust someone, it is still possible (to not only) treat them with kindness, but to love them.

30

I have learned that blood does not necessarily make a person family; some of my most cherished relationships have come to me through friendship & marriage!

31

I have learned that sometimes it is in silence that we hear the most profound things!

A lot can be said for listening.

32

I have learned that success is in the eye of the beholder.

33

I have learned that people can change!

I do believe in second chances! (Just not so much in third.)

 

34

When I was younger I had less to worry about,

but I have learned that the older I get, the happier I am!

Dare Yourself

I love this quote and after chatting with a friend today I thought it was perfect to post.  I dare you to dare yourself to do something out of the ordinary this week.  Do something you have been wanting to do for sometime.  Find the courage and just do it.  I am going to...

image via coco & kelley blog

Real Men, Real Life & other Thoughts

Happy Wednesday friends.

Sharing two things today!

One is a video, that really speaks to my heart.

As you know, I am so VERY passionate about my man and all he does for our family.

This video is such a a great reminder about what is needed from our men,

and what they provide for us.

Thank God for the love and strength we find in them! 

Also, I came across this devotional today and wanted to share some of it:

So don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of you tomorrow too. Live one day at a time. Matthew 6:34

King George V wrote on the fly leaf of the Bible of a friend,

"The secret to happiness is not to do what you like to do,

but to learn to like what you have to do."

To many people think of happiness as some sort of will-of-the-wisp thing that is discovered by constant and relentless searching. It is not found by seeking. It is not an end itself. Pots of gold are never found at the end of the rainbow, as we thought when we were children; gold is mined from the ground or panned laboriously from a mountain stream.

-Billy Graham

**************

A few thoughts on this Wednesday....

Sometimes our situation seems bleak,

and our circumstances unfair,

we all have to work to overcome things.

Know that this is your life.

Own up to your life.

If you can, make it right and then move on.

Make things happen.

Don't give up.

Don't forget that love is what matters the most.

Don't neglect the ones who love you.

Don't forget to pray.

Don't forget that you are not alone.

Don't forget that every one of us is dealing

with some sort of trial.

Don't forget that a life of success,

is often filled with struggle and stress.

Don't forget that God has a plan,

but you have free reign,

so make your choices wisely.

Don't forget you get what you give, so give good!

Don't forget to be grateful for what you do have.

Don't forget to love yourself in the process!

Life IS what we make of it, each day counts,

so let's make today a good one!

I am off to enjoy another day with the kiddos, on this Spring Break day.

Toodles! <3>

Even Without Sugar My Cheerios Are SWEET!

As my daughter poured her bowl of Cheerios, I watched her load up on the sugar.

“Mmmm,” she said. “I love when the milk is all good and you can scrape sugar off the bottom of the bowl.” I smiled, because I knew exactly what she was talking about.

Although, I have not eaten my Cheerios with sugar in years, I used to use too much sugar, because I thought it needed it. Children need everything to taste, “yummy” and if it does not, they want nothing to do with it.

When we serve our girls their dinner, we always place a small portion of vegetables on their plates. They usually smother the veggies in ranch. They claim to "hate" vegetables, but they have had to find a way to season them to their liking.

Sugar, ketchup, ranch…plain food sweetened up with “the good stuff.”

As adults, we realize that not everything that we eat necessarily has to taste good; it just has to get the job done. It has to give us fuel for the day and include beneficial nutrients that our bodies require.

We also realize that not everything that we do in life is going to be enjoyable, but we do it because it is necessary for some reason for another and we make the best of it. Some days life and the tasks at hand can seem plain, but we find ways to sweeten the experience.

Cleaning toilets and doing laundry are my least favorite things to do, but they have to be done, so when I clean the house, I make it enjoyable by listening to music.

When I exercise (which yes, I admit I don’t really enjoy) I choose to do something I like, ride my bike, take our dog for a walk so that I can enjoy the outdoors or I’ll put on music in the living room and dance with the kiddos.

Our kids often ask my husband if he “likes his job.” Even on the stressful days, he always answers, “yes” and he explains that without it we would not be able to live in our house, drive our cars or have food on the table.

Part of growing up, is learning to be grateful for the things that aren't always seasoned to our liking.

We smile when we do not feel up to it, we laugh at our mistakes, we work to support our family, we learn from our failures, we exercise and eat well for our health, we forgive when it's difficult, we show up when we don't feel like it, we sacrifice for our children and spouses, we focus on the good even when it's hard to find and we remember that...

 Life is only as sweet as we make it.

 *************************************************

Philippians 4:11-12
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Ecclesiastes 7:14
When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.

Saddle Up and Enjoy the Ride

As I sit here doing laundry today I am wondering a few things. The first one is why my daughter took it  upon herself to cut holes in the knees of her jeans?! lol!!

She is seven not seventeen, but some days I feel like I am raising a teenager. Isn't it funny how when we are children we can't wait to grow up. Then once we become adults we cherish the memories of the carefree days when everything was fun!

Last night my hubby and I used my birthday gift card for Texas Roadhouse. Next to us was a booth filled with 80-something-year-old people celebrating a birthday. They were having such a good time!

They were talking and laughing and when it came time to sing to the birthday boy, who just so happened to be the oldest man in the group, he gladly climbed on the saddle while everyone sang to him. He sat there on that saddle and he looked like enjoyed every minute of it. 

I don't know about you, but some days I don't feel all that grown up and I wonder if when I'm 80 I will feel any different. I have learned a few lessons from experience in my life, but at 33 I am still making my fair share of mistakes. 50 years from now, what will I have accomplished? Where will I be? What kind of people will my children be?

I'm sure the people at that table had lots of advice and wisdom they could have passed on, but just the birthday boy's actions were enough to give us something insightful to walk away with. We were reminded how precious every day is. 

We are never too old to enjoy what the day has to offer. Good friends, good food, good times and of course, more than that...things like doing the laundry and pulling out a pair of your daughter's cut up jeans. It's about finding the blessings in the things that make you giggle AND the things that make you cry.

So my final thought for the day is inspired from a line I remember in Married for Life, by Bill Morelan.

Life is full of challenges. Life is full of blessings! Deal with the hard times and embrace the good times. 

"We haven’t been confined to a corral; we have been saddled up to enjoy the ride of our lives!" 

Life is a Dance

20 years ago, I stepped into the living room to watch my baby brother dance.

My brother had some very cool moves when he was little. He used to move his feet and shoulders just like Michael Jackson and my whole family loved to watch! However, to my surprise, one day, he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and in a squeaky little voice he said, “Awe! Sister is here. Get out of here, sister! I’m not dancing for you!”

To this day, it makes me laugh just thinking about it. He hadn't quite learned how to pronounce his “R’s”, and yes, it was a little mean, but he was just the cutest kid ever and I loved him.

I was the only girl in the family and for some reason I was his target. My littlest brother did not have a little-er brother to pick on, so he chose me. For many years, he did not want much to do with his "big sister".

He did not let me watch him dance and he did not dance along with me, like some of my other brothers did. He usually kept his distance. He did his own thing. 

Sometimes, we would have our moments together. I would read him Shel Silverstein books as we cuddled under the covers. However, most of the time, he kicked me out.

So I watched from other rooms. I peeked around the corners. I secretly watched him dance the very first night he sent me away, and I have been watching ever since.

I have watched him dance through life.

After all, that is what life is, right? A dance.

John Michael Montgomery thinks so too… J

"Life’s a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
Don’t worry about what you don’t know
Life’s a dance you learn as you go"

It is true, life is a dance...

Sometimes we lead. Sometimes we follow. Sometimes we dance solo. Sometimes it is a team effort. Sometimes we move too fast. Sometimes we move too slowly. Sometimes we lose our balance.

One thing that is certain. No matter where we are, who we are dancing with, or how we dance, there is always someone on the sidelines watching and cheering us on.

20 years ago, my little brother did not know that I kept watching him from another room, but I did.

I was watching then and I am watching still.  

I am on the sidelines watching and quietly cheering him on.

I always will be...

********************************

My baby brother celebrated a birthday about a week ago. I may be a little late, but late or not, it’s all love! J

Brother, if you were a girl, I would call you a dancing queen, but…that is my role in the family ~ haa! So instead I'll say Happy Birthday Little Brother. Keep on dancing! Love you!

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain" 

"It is not the movements that make a dance beautiful, it is the emotions that inspired the movements
that make it beautiful"

"If you stumble, make it part of the dance"

Surviving the Storm

Sometimes when we notice the clouds

We do not think much about them

Just that there is a possibility of rain ahead

But sometimes

The clouds become darker than expected

The world becomes gray

The sunshine disappears

And a storm arrives

There is very little light

Peeking through the sky

Just clouds hovering

Rain falling

Hail pounding

Winds uprooting

Lightening striking

Thunder echoing

There is fear

There is potential danger

There is damage

There is anger

Sometimes we hide from the storm

Sometimes we fight to survive the storm

We use shelter to protect us

If we are lucky, our shelter does keep us safe

But sometimes when the storm passes

Even though we may have survived

Other things may have not

Sometimes our shelter is damaged beyond repair

Sometimes we lose things during the storm

We are confused

Shocked

Scared

So we mourn our losses

Then we salvage what is left

Of us

And of our things

We may at times feel despair or anger

But we hold onto hope

Our faith helps us to grow from that storm

We learn

The storm may have threatened us

Threatened our livelihood

~our health

~our well-being

~our family

~our spirit

~our shelter

But it did not win

We feel grateful

Even though it did not feel like we were winning at the time

We did!

We rebuild

And repair

And eventually we find that

What is,

Is much better than what was

What was,

barely survived

It was barely holding on

What is left

Is a survivor!

Because of the storm

This time around

We are more appreciative of what we have

More understanding of what we need

We enjoy the sunny days a little more

We are little more protective of what we have built

We understand the impending hazards

So this time around we build stronger barriers

Shelter that will survive the next storm

We know that little storms

May come without warning

And may go without leaving a trace

But we are aware that they were there

And that it is not uncommon for a few circling clouds,

To change instantly

To become a whirlwind of problems and devastation

But the next time

When the next storm arrives

We will be ready!

 
Being a survivor is not just enduring the storm, it is also coming to terms with the storm and repairing any damage it may have caused. Sometimes being a survivor is being ready before the next storm hits or perhaps, noticing the signs that a storm may be ahead.  

This month is about one storm in particular. A storm that no woman wants to deal with, but many women have, Breast Cancer. Breast Cancer is just one of the many storms that many women and their families face. Are you giving yourself a breast check regularly? Are you watching for the signs?

Rose-colored Lenses (On Our Children)

Once a reporter stood in front of a fire as it consumed a house and then he turned to see the homeowners and their little son watching it burn. The reporter fishing for a human-interest angle, said to the boy, "Son, it looks as if you don't have a home anymore." The little boy promptly answered, "Oh, yes, we have a home. We just don't have a house to put it in."
 ~Barbara Johnson


What a story! I just loved that little boy's answer. Where did he get such a positive outlook? Probably from his parents! Children may not always turn out exactly like their parents, but for the most part, they do! My first thought when reading that was, I bet his mother had already had an encouraging talk with him. Poor boy, I didn't give him much credit did I? :) However, that was my first thought! This mother was training her child (Proverbs 22:6) to be positive!

Don’t you just love being around positive people? I do! I love happy people. Now, let us not confuse the party people with the positive people. I am not talking about the loud, “I’m here, ready to have a good time, and be the life of the party” type of people. (Very sorry, if you are one of them!) I am interested in talking about people that are positive everyday of their lives! I am talking about the people that are happy before the party, even if it means blowing up one hundred balloons, baking dozens of cupcakes and barely having anytime to get dressed. I am talking about the people that love their life even when it is not all fun and parties. People that are passionate about their sometimes boring, sometimes chaotic, sometimes backwards life.  The people that feel fortunate, grateful and blessed.

The other day when talking to my cousin, I was telling her how weird it is to look back at certain times in my life, like birthdays, weddings and family reunions and feel a twinge of sadness. Almost, like I missed some very special moments. Moments that should have been filled with happy memories, but they were not, because of my disposition and the relationship that I was in. Thinking about those days now, seems like it was a completely different life and I was a completely different person. I can find myself starting to look back and think, wow, I wasted a decade of my life being unhappy. 10 years of my life that I will never get back! However, instead of dwelling on the negative, I find myself feeling grateful to have learned so much.

If I had not gone through what I did, I would not be the person that I am today. Those times were tough and I fell down many times, but I kept getting up because I knew that better days were ahead. I survived, because of prayer and positivity! Our situations vary and our circumstances can sometimes seem bleak, but a positive outlook can make all of the difference. I truly believe that! My life got happier once I started looking at my life, my future, and my circumstances through rose-colored lenses.

We are human and life can be painful some days. I believe that it is okay to give ourselves a mourning period. It is okay to vent to our friends and even tell God, we do not understand why “this” is happening to us, as we ask him for strength, but then, enough is enough. We must get up and get on with our life, because this world has too much to offer.

My mom was always one of those happy people! She was like a happy little bird chirping in the morning and singing her songs, telling us, “Rise and shine. It’s a beautiful day!” Although, I didn’t always understand her happiness and my response was usually "Mom, seriously?!" Now I am going through the same thing with our kids! Yesterday, my hubby and I were joking with our son and he was so serious! He never even cracked a smile, but I kept joking and laughing, because I know that even if he does not appreciate it now, in a few years he will. Then this morning, I walked into the girls' bedrooms singing, "Good morning! It's a lovely daaaaay!" Both of the girls groaned, complained, and gave me grumpy looks. It made me think of my mom!

Kids are going to be grumpy. Kids are going to find something to complain about, but as their parents, we are going to continue to give them all the reasons that they should look forward to their life. To their day. To whatever comes next!

Much like that little boy’s mother did in the story above.  That way when our children become adults, they understand that bad things may sometimes happen to good people, but positive people never let the bad things keep them down!

The Greatest of these is Love

I may say that I love

Chocolate, bike rides, or even clothes

But truthfully

I don’t

I could give them all up

If I had to 

I guess
It is safe to say

I "like" these things  

They are things

That I enjoy doing

Or eating

Or wearing

But

If these things

Were taken away from me tomorrow

I would be okay

If I were forced to move to a deserted island

And could take only five things with me 

I am fully aware that

I would be

A poor, hungry girl dressed in rags 

Surrounded by the top five people that I love

(Although, I cannot imagine having to narrow it down to just five)

The things that I like 

Wouldn’t even cross my mind

The people that I love would 

After all

I was made to love

I was made for love

I was made because of His love

We are born into a family that loves us

That we grow to love

We develop relationships

With extended family members, neighbors and friends

We love them

And they love us 

We fall in love with boyfriends & girlfriends

And we love them enough

To become partners for life

We have children

Who we love so much

That we would willingly give our lives for

God made Eve specifically for Adam

He gave them to each other

To love

Jesus Christ died and became our Savior

Because He loved us so 

Yes
My life is

but a small life

In this great big world

But I matter

Because of who I love

And who loves me

When I die

(In 60 years or so :)

I hope to be surrounded

Not by things

But by people
Who will look down at me

And say

“It’s so hard

To say good-bye 

Because

I love her”

And

When I go

I hope

To be welcomed into the kingdom of Heaven

By my Savior

And by all of the people that I loved

Who left before me

And when I look up at them

I hope to hear them say

"I'm so happy that she is here 

Because

I love her."

 *********************

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. (John 4:16)

'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:31)

We love because he first loved us. Those who say, "I love God," and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also. (John 4:19-21)

…now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love. (Corinthians 13:4-8, 13