Top Ten Things Not to Say When You're Pulled Over


Recently, Yahoo! News published a feature on what not to do if you ever get pulled over by a police officer. Conspicuously missing from the feature were what not to say in that situation. What are the top ten worst things to say to a police officer after getting pulled over?

  • 10) "You must be new in town or fresh out of the academy. OK, you go straight, hang a right at the next set of lights and Dunkin' Donuts is right there on your left."

  • 9) "No, I'm not a lawyer but I slept in a Holiday Inn last night with your wife."

  • 8) "You know, if it wasn't for the two headless bodies in the trunk, I could've outrun you."

  • 7) "I'd pay your salary with my taxes if I didn't cheat on them every year!"

  • 6) "I don't know where the registration is, Officer. Pop the trunk and ask the owner."

  • 5) "Riddle me this: What drives a motorcycle, is dressed in blue and too stupid to pass the detective's exam?"

  • 4) "My other car's the Batmobile and you're about to blow my secret identity, flatfoot!"

  • 3) "Sucks for me that Wal-Mart or the mall's not hiring security guards."

  • 2) "I've been waiting for this opportunity. For months, I've been practicing reciting the alphabet backwards while dead drunk."

  • 1) "What are you packing, a 9 millimeter? I'm sorry about your small penis."
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