The Devil in a Bottle


*hehe, saw this shirt when I was out shopping with my God-daughter a few weekends ago.

&&& lately it feels so true.
This week my husband felt like dining out several times,
it's been nice having a few dates in one week with my hubby,
but it is soooo hard to make good choices at restaurants.

I am such a dessert lover!

Eating out & shopping together has also been a nice change.

Because this summer, I struggled to get out of the house for
a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g.

This is the first time I am writing about a very recent
& embarrassing thing that happened to me this summer!

I have always had a hard time sleeping on and off since I was a teenager.
My husband knocks out within a few minutes of laying down and I on the other hand, lay
in bed for hours wishing I was joining him in Slumber Land.

So in the early months of Summer, I began taking a prescription sleeping pill.
It was like magic! I slept all night long without any interruptions.

Little did we know, I was going to have ongoing allergic reactions,
later some very bad effects 
& my body was slowly becoming dependant on it!

Eating out recently with my husband shouldn't be that big of a deal, right?
Except that the 3 meals we ate out this week,
is probably equal to the number of meals we ate out all summer.

This magic pill, wasn't really magic.

I swear it was the Devil in a bottle! 
It was taking away my common sense and my ability to reason.

It was heightening my anxiety & making me irrational.
I would do and say things that I didn't remember the next day.
It caused several panic/anxiety attacks, starting the very first week I took it,
except I had no idea it was this medicine that caused it,
because we were on vacation and I also had motion sickness.

I couldn't eat, couldn't keep meals down, I couldn't go anywhere
and when I did I couldn't enjoy it. 
I was emotional about every issue in my life
and I couldn't rationalize any thought in my head.

The worst part, just before I decided to stop taking them, 
I felt hopeless.
Just ready to quit...everything.

It's crazy thinking about it!

We see the television adds for medication all the time,
but I never even thought it would happen to me.

But it happened.

Luckily, I was able to figure out I wasn't crazy,
I wasn't depressed,
I wasn't  losing it...
I was just having really severe side effects.

It makes me sad to think of the people that don't figure it out in time.
Or the people that don't have a really good support system. 

What makes me even more upset is that my doctor, agreed that these side affects are possible, but 
rather than listen he just wanted to stick me back on different medicine.

It made me think of the many teens that get on depression meds
or seniors on health medicine and
end up committing suicide.
They never figure out
the medicine that was supposed to be helping them
was really hurting them.

Anyway, this was just another experience in life I am glad to be done with! 

But much love to my husband who supported me the entire time.
He was understanding and supportive even when (we both thought) I was out of my mind!
That's what I call love. :) 
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