For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11).
At this time in my life, I know the joys of parenthood and the paralyzing love that a parent feels for his/her child. I know the beauty of a healthy, happy marriage and what it feels like to be loved and cherished. I also know Christ’s love and that I am a child of God who had not been forgotten, for even a second.Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; (Jeremiah 1:5)
Although, in spite of the current contentment that I feel, a long, happy, healthy life is something that I continue to pray about, because of course, I want to be around to enjoy this wonderful marriage and continue to raise our children and see them grow. I pray for other things too. I pray for the things that I feel I need and my family needs. Although, because of my experiences I now end these prayers with, “If it is your will for me, Lord”.
He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine. (Matthew 26:39)
I have learned that I must trust Him and that even if my heart’s desires are not answered in the way that I wish, things will be okay. He has shown me that! After my miscarriages, I warmed up to the idea that maybe more babies are not part of His plan, then again, maybe they are! In a different way or on a time scale much different from my own...
Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. (Luke 18:1)
I have discussed foster parenting and adoption with my husband. I also have many other ideas that I wonder about aside from having children. I am working on ideas and researching things at home, because you see, what I am really interested in is my purpose. I feel it in my heart, there is something that I should be doing.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. (Romans 8:26-27)
While I love being a homemaker, I do feel like I should be doing something more, but again, I wonder what that might be…
"Your beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will your future be" (Job 8:7).
I have always had a heart for children. When I was in college studying Education, I worked in settings with children. Afterwards, I taught for a short amount of time. Then I focused on raising my baby. Now with remarriage, my focus is on our home and raising our children. Once a week, I drive out to help care for my Grandma. I also hook up to my computer daily, taking notes and submitting story ideas. Fortunately, my husband is supporting my passion for writing, but what if this is another prayer, another dream that does not work out?
For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and He ponders all his paths. (Proverbs 5:21)
I am not worried about what comes next. I am a little excited! I do not know where I will be tomorrow or what I will be doing...
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:12-13)
I do know that I have learned to listen to Him. In the past, my focus, my steps, were all about my will and my desires. That has changed. I have learned that if I listen closely and follow the path that God has designed for me, my journey will be wonderful. God's plan will be enough. God's plan will give me peace and eventually, it will lead me home.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul (Psalm 143:8).
